How Quickly Does Albendazole Work?

[bellekatz]

I have a huge dilemma and am not sure if I am doing the right thing. I hvae an older sister who is 20 years older than me and has a mild learning difficulty. She lived with our Mum and my Dad until they passed away and came to live with us 8 years ago as she wouldnt stay in their rented accomodation on her own. Things have been ok until this year. She hangs around with a family who are not local and I am fairly certain they have convinced her to move out. She also hangs around with a man she met at a disabked peoples centre years ago - he is lovely and mild mannered, unlike my sister who can be argumentitive and beligerent and lies like mad - all part of her disability I might add. She was left wome money by an uncle several years back which is a trust that myself and my aunt have access to, and she has a modest amount of savings. I am her appointee for anything to do with the DSS and hacve filled in her forms honestly and accurately over the last 8 years. When she decided she wanted to move out, I decided to help her, rather than just argue and worry about it which is what our Mum always did. So i gave her a letter to give to our GP to ask for a social services referral, but instead she went to a housing trust she had visited someone at before and they found her a bedsit. She moved out just before we went on holiday and we gave her loads of stuff to take with her. I have now had a form to sign for a commuity care grant for money to buy new stuff for her. It maintains she has had an unsettled life ( she has lived in manchester for 50 years now!!) and basically is a pack of lies. Lots of items that are on the form i KNOW she already has - her medical history is inacurate and has been filled in by the scheme administrator where she is living. It even said that I asked her to leave which is untrue, and that I wouldnt let her into the house when I friends round - (she went happily to stay with firends on the odd time we had visitors as we did not have enough space in the house_ I have spoken to the administrator and said I am not happy to put my name to it as it is a legal document and I will be the one i trouble if they find out she already has these things. They asked if I wanted to still be her apointee and when I asked who else could be they named one of this family she hangs around with so I said "not a chance". I don't trust them as far as I can throw them to be honest. I am fairly certain she has told them in the past about her savings.

So we are at a bit of a status quo - should I just sign the form and get it done with? I know they have put down more things becuase they wont get all on the list, but I am an honest person and am not happy to be used like this and put my name to something that isnt true.

Any omleteers had any experiences like this before, anyone work for theDept of work and pensions or anything?

[Blackrocksrock]

Sounds like they know she has some savings and money behind her! I would dig in my heels and keep things honest and above board - Have they sold these things she is looking for /claiming for? Maybe take some legal advice and ask her gp about the false medical history also. Good luck.

[Olly]

Firstly, I'm sorry you have to go through this - it is very hard after you have looked after her for so long and had her best interests at heart.

 

No experience of this, but I would say you should not put your name to it if you don't agree. Even if you are not the person who would benefit directly, you would be assisting her to obtain money or property that she's not entitled to. In addition, if she has said things that are untrue such as that you asked her to leave, that is something that could be raised again later, and your signature taken as confirmation. If she chooses to appoint someone else (is she able to make decisions like that?) then that is up to her.

 

It must be tempting to give in for the sake of a quiet life, but it could have serious consequences.

[chick wiggle]

Ooo that is a toughy, I really feel for you and your sister as it sounds like she may be taken advantage of? I would be really reluctant to put my name to a legal document knowing it isnt 100% accurate. I cant really be of much help to you and i am sure someone will be along soon with more sage advice. i just wish you the best of luck with this and to know that people on here are here to listen to a good ol' rant whenever you feel the need. *hugs*

[The Dogmother]

I totally agree with Olly.

 

Can the document be redrafted to your satisfaction?

 

Will her GP testify that her lying/unstable nature is part of her disability?

 

Olly may know the answer to this, but can something like a Right of Attorney be used in this case if she's unable to manage her own affairs?

[Olly]

Well I was wondering just that - if she's had this disability all her life, presumably a decision has been made previously at some point as to whether she is able to manage her own affairs or whether she needs a representative.

 

If not, then unfortunately you may just have to let her go her own way.

 

Does she have a social worker, and if so can you speak to them?

[Cinnamon]

So hard, isn't it?

 

First of all, & I know you probably don't need anyone to say this,but well done you, for taking her in & looking after her so well for such a long time.

 

I have had dealings similar to this when I was my mothers trustee after she suffered brain damage following an accident.

 

I would advise NOT to sign that document until the true & accurate facts are down there to your satisfaction.

If you sigh it,then that's that - you can never change what it there.This is your opportunity to set the record straight.

 

You sound like a wonderfully sensible woman, & like me you like things done by the book.

Your sister may move on for good, but try your hardest to retain your trustee status, as I feel your instinct is right not to trust this other family.

 

Can you ask for your sister to be interviewed gently by someone independent to see how much they have found out about her & how much influence they have over her now?

[bellekatz]

THanks for all your advice so far. I think I will stick with my guns and not sign the form yet - THe thing that really amazes me is that the Scheme warden ( who is employed by a reputable housing trust) has filled this form in for her - obviously asked her some questions, but my sister didnt even know that some items on the list had been asked for, and would not have been able to read/fully understand the form and just signed it anyway like she would have been told to. I am half debating about contacting the trust to see if this is nomal practice in their schemes.

 

She doesnt have a social worker at present. I had to redo her bus pass recently and was told by Social services they would not sign it as she was not known ( they did know her address though!!!) but her last paperwork was in the late 1990s when my Mum tried to organise a college course ands stuff for her. I gave her a letter for the GP to ask for a new referral to Social services but she didnt take it and has now moved out of this authority instead. (though only a few miles away).

[clootie]

All good advice and all I would add is, don't compromise your principles. You would have to live with your decision afterwards and if it goes against the grain in the first place, don't do it. Good luck.

[Chucky Mama]

I really feel for you, what a difficult position to be in. I personally would not comprimise re the form filling and I would trust your instincts on this one.

[Egluntyne]

Can only echo what others have said. I'm very sorry to hear that you find yourself in such a difficult situation.

[Guest]

HI

 

I think if she has got a mild learning disability and is known to her GP and is incapable of making rationale decisions as her appointee I would definitely get her GP to get social services involved if you get to the end of your tether with her. Just because she is not known to social services doesnt mean she cant be now. But she will need to be referred by her GP and your concerns raised. In fact it may be worth just pre warning him so your concerns can be documented.

 

Sounds like her new best friends are after one thing and social services are lucky that your sister has had such a caring family all of these years. Often with families they dont listen to their own but are happy to listen to complete strangers(who are trying to sell them things etc etc ).She sounds quite vulnerable adult.

 

Make sure you keep a book(log ) of any withdrawals of cash/bills etc with reciepts of any further items that you buy for her (even if you get her to sign she has accepted these items..if she will). You may need it as back up if push comes to shove)

 

Good luck but she is lucky to have you keeping an eye on her antics

 

indie

[chickenanne]

POOR YOU! I think you should defintiely avoid signing until you are happy that the statement is accurate. You have to be sure it is a full and fair reflection of the facts.

Secondly, i would see if the GP, local practice nurse, or any professional who she has regular dealings with will offer any advise or comment on the situation.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Can't add any more advice but just wanted to say good luck. You've obviously been doing an amazing job of looking out for your sister for years .

[Redwing]

You say the form is wrong and they immediately question your representation of your sister? that sounds dodgy, I would take it to the trust direct and insist that the document be revised

 

Like someone alse said, do check her posessions to see that the items she already has havent 'gone missing'

[cathybc]

Hi Jayne, sorry to hear things are difficult. Personally, I may let a few 'white lies' go to keep the peace, but certainly nothing that could possiblye be regarded as fraudulent.

[Cinnamon]

But the problem with that is if her condition worsens with age, as it well might, then what has been signed for as the truth now cannot be undone.

[redfrock]

I am well versed in completing Community Care grants having a background both in generic and supported housing. By all means PM me or you can call me and chat to me about it 9any of it) if that is any help. I will happily PM you my phone number

[bellekatz]

Thanks to those who have pm'd me Things have escalated this morning - I organised some money from the trust account, and phoned my sister and said that I will not sign that form as it is telling lies ( some of which she did know about) and that she could lose her benefits and be fined if she was found out. But I told her not to worry and that I would take her shopping and buy what she needs.

She then phoned me later and said that she didnt want the trust money, she wanted the cheque from her defunct savings account ( fine) and that her friends were going to arrange everything for her.

I tried to explain that she didnt have anywhere to pay this money into as she needed identification to set up a new account ( passport, driving licence, utility bills) but she was welcome to the cheque. She said it didnt matter as she had got a bus pass as identity ( yes she really thinks she can open an account with that) and that I wasn't to phone her anymore as I was always upsetting her. I said that I knew these friends were behind this change of mind and she hung up.

 

So what do I do now--------- my aunt has said she will phone her later, I have taken a copy of the cheque ( which is a warrant and only account payee so cant be paid into anyone elses account) and OH is copying the grant form at work. Do I send a letter to the DWP and say I won't sign the form as it wasnt completed by me and I dont agree with it? Me and the teenagers were going to see her new place on Friday but now we are not welcome and I have to explain this to them later. Am I really being that horrible trying to keep her on the straight and narrow and look out for her welfare. I am close to giving up and really upset............

[Guest]

What a terrible situation. I am really sorry you're having such a worry.

 

Without knowing much about the legal/ social services situation, I just have two bits of advice:

 

1 - don't sign anything which isn't true.

 

2 - would a visit to the GP be helpful? You need someone to support you.

 

Whilst you are right to think your sister's friends might have bad motives, they might be kind people trying to help a poor lady out. If she lies, then she may have told them terrible tales about you which they have innocently believed.

 

Social Services are clearly more inclined to believe their 'client' than her carer too. It is simply outrageous that a vulnerable adult's care can just be changed without proper consultation.

 

I am really hoping you can hand some of this over to your GP.

 

Good luck and don't give up just yet!

[C&T]

Am I really being that horrible trying to keep her on the straight and narrow and look out for her welfare. I am close to giving up and really upset............

 

 

Simple answer is no!

 

Can only echo others - you have to do what you feel is right. And signing a legal document that you know is full of lies (or at the very least is not truthful) is unlikely to help anyone in the long run - neither you nor her. And once it is signed there is no going back.

 

Really tough. I hope your Aunt will be able to help support you (and your sister) through this.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

You poor thing . I wouldn't sign anything you know is inaccurate especially as it mentions you.

 

What do you know about this family? Can you meet them to better guage whether they are genuine or not (doesn't sound likely ). If they know you're on their case, might they be put off trying to con your sister? Can you raise your concerns with anyone professional who deals with your sister?

 

It's so difficult if she sees you as the problem and not them .

 

Here, have a

[Happy-Mama]

i don't have any new advice, but echo what others have said and wouldn't sign a legal document you know to be untrue. Sending big hugs!!!

[Chucky Mama]

How awful for you. You are doing the right thing but unfortunately she can't and probably wont ever see that. Your instincts re the so called friends are probably spot on. I don't know what you do next but you have her best interests a heart so you are not a bad person. Stick with it and good luck and hugs

[cathybc]

hope you are feeling a bit better, not really sure what to say except to say I am thinking of you.