Laura & CTB Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 OfCCom Priceless Shona! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 DAY 9 IN THE BIG CHICKEN EGLU The day started with the househens in a subdued mood, as they awaited news on Blue Cochine Emily. Emily had been summoned to the Diary Room in the middle of the night, and had not returned. Concern was mounting amongst the househens that she had been swiped by a fox on the walk back to the roosting bars in the dead of night, despite the fact that they were enclosed within the Big Chicken run. Big Chicken put their minds at ease after they had eaten breakfast, informing them all about Emilys removal from the Eglu for eating the eggs from the nesting box. The househens were shocked at the news, and Shabnam was sent into a furious, clucking mess when she realised that it meant another week for her within the Eglu. Keen to lift the atmosphere in the Eglu, Big Chicken was quick to busy the househens with a new mini task, and delivered balloons and paper-mache into the run, and asked them all to pair off and make paper-mache models of each other. If Big Chicken deemed them worthy of an exhibition in the foyer of Eggemols HQ, then the househens would be rewarded. while the resulting statues were more reminisent of Mrs Orpingtons nursery class art work than Michaelangelo, it was decided, in the interest of Eglu morale that the househens had done enough to pass the task, and Big Chicken delivered a picnic hamper crammed with fresh snails and a half bottle of cherry brandy, to the hungry househens. After a bicker over who should get the dregs of the cherry brandy, the househens settled in the eglu for the night, Ziggy and Channelle spooning in the corner, blissfully unaware of what is to happen next.... Friday night is eviction night, but with evictions cancelled this week, what could Big Chicken have up their sleeve? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 (edited) DAY 10 IN THE BIG CHICKEN EGLU The househens spent a subdued day in the Big Chicken Eglu, as the news of Emilys sudden departure was still settling in to the birdbrains in the run. They spent a nervous day, pondering what Big Chicken could have instore on the traditional eviction night - there was concern amongst the househens that there would be a surprise bus-ride to the pie factory for one of them, in a bid to keep the factory foreman happy, so it was with trepidation that the househens gathered on the tree stump in the garden, to await news from the top chook. They were delighted, therefore, when they realised that there was to be no evictions, but instead, Big Chicken rewarded them all with two new househens. First into the Eglu was Gerry, a well bred Campine from Greece, who believes that "There is no heaven or hell, just continuous laying until you fulfil your karma and unite with a higher being and lay the perfect egg. Thus you are relaid as a cockerel" he is sure to be a hit with refined but aging Buttercup Lesley, and he describes himself as ambigiously happy to spend his time with both hens and cockerels. Second in the Eglu was Seany, a slightly zany and annoying White Star, with a passion for the bizarre. Seany's guilty secret is that he loves girl band, Chooks Aloud and can't wait to meet Davina McCaw when he leaves the Eglu, calling her "The sexiest chook in the coup" Big Chicken was quick to put a dampener on the festivities during Seany and Gerry's first visit to the diary room, when he revealed that they would be allowed to choose two other househens to nominate alongside them, for this weeks trip to the pie factory. Edited June 12, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 DAY 11 IN THE BIG CHICKEN EGLU Things couldn;t have got off to a worse start for the two new househens, when, after a glass or two of Glenfiddich, Stupid Seany the White Star, decided it would be funny to sneak up on poor Buttercup, Lesley and crow in her ear, as she roosted peacefully in the Eglu. Incensed by the intrusion, the Buttercup made up her mind that enough was enough, and at 8:30am, she informed Big Chicken that she was ready to leave. Having had enough of the constant crowing from the boys, and the incessent clucking and squarking from the girls, she packed her bags and left Big Chicken, after a noisy farewell. She ensured before she went that the blame would be firmly laid at the starfish feet of the nippy White Star, and she diappeared off, out the backdoor and into the van to the pie factory. Still reeling from the sudden departure of Blue Cochine, Emily, the househens were left shellshocked, as they bid farewell to yet another househen who had left before her time. With the newcomer Seany firmly in everyones bad books, the househens got on with their day in the Eglu. As the twintastic duo of Amanda and Sam danced the day away, poor Amanda was the victim of a freak accident, as she cut her leg on the rhinestone belt that her twin was wearing. Shrieking at the thought of having ripped her drumstick, Laura and Sam comforted the injured party, until Big Chicken called for an expert, and the chickens thigh was sewn up. With much clucking, the girls and boys settled themsleves into the Eglu for the night, with a conspicious Buttercup sized gap where Lesley had nestled only a few short hours before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Thanks Shona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 'Tis a pleasure.....will update the last two days later, once I've woken up..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy C Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Brilliant stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 'Tis a pleasure.....will update the last two days later, once I've woken up..... Please do - I couldn't be faffed to watch it last night, I had to watch the Grease final Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susanbb Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Great stuff Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 DAY 12 IN THE BIG CHICKEN EGLU Bonds are made and bonds are broken in the Big Chicken Eglu, but for one househen, strong bonds have been difficult to come by since his arrival. Poor Cream legbar cockerel, Ziggy, has struggled in his first week in the Eglu, drowning in a sea of girly clucking, egg laying and feather fluffing, with only his blossoming friendship with Bovans Nera Channelle to keep him sane. So with the introduction of two new cockerels, Ziggy saw the opportunity to chill in the run, and indulge in some 'man talk'. Despite the fact that both Gerry and Seany have admitted to more than a passing interest in girly pastimes such as clucking and feather fluffing, they were happy to spend a peaceful morning in the garden with Ziggy, discussing more manly subjects (strutting mainly), while the girls enjoyed the peace and privacy of the newly reinstated nestbox in the Eglu. After a pleasant morning, bonding over the glug and grub, Ziggy felt certain he would be top choice for newcomers Seany and Gerry when it came to them to decide who would be allowed to nominate with them this week, so you could imagine his despair when Big Chicken announced that the Campine and White Star would have to interview each and every househen, before making their decision. So they took up residence in the nesting box, and each of the househens were called in to put forward their case for the nominations. There were varying reasons put forward for why each of them thought they should be allowed to vote, from the sublime "I'm a cheesy quaver, innit?" from Tracey, to the ridiculous "I saw that Channelle and Ziggy sharing a worm in the garden and it made my stomach turn with the slurping - they gotta go" from Charley. With the interviews done, the two cockerels made their choice, and Ziggy was furious when he realised that all his early morning shmoozing with the new boys had been in vain, when they announced that the twintastic duo of Sam and Amanda would be joining them in nominating this week. The pressures of deciding over, the new boys retired to the garden, leaving the grumpy househens fighting over an unfortunate slug who had taken the wrong turn at the Eglu door, and disharmoney once again ruled in the Big Chicken Eglu.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Thanks for that! Enjoying Big Chicken! Motherhen Carole is the best so far. Tracey has to go - she's had too much poultry spice I think! Loving big chicken! Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 DAY 13 IN THE BIG CHICKEN EGLU There's a nasty whiff eminating from the Big Chicken Eglu, and it isn't down to an unclean droppings tray. Some of the Househens have noted that one of them is less than scrupulous when it comes to personal hygiene, and has been avoiding the dustbath with great success for quite a few days. It was down to superclean Carole to say something to whiffy Shabnam today, as she enjoyed a care-free dustbath. "You want to get some dirt between your quills" she commented, as the smelly Wynadotte tucked into a grub full of mealworms, "The others don't want to share a nextbox with you in that state" continued the Norfolk Grey "You're a tad pongy" she finished, just to make sure the young Wynadotte took the hint. But with nominations due, Smelly Shabnam has other things on her mind - last week she begged lone cockerel Ziggy to nominate her, but now she really wants to stay. With her fate in the hands of newcomers Gerry and Seany, and the terrible twosome of Sam and Amanda, the nerves are beginning to show. The four househens eligible to nominate disappeared off into the diaryroom, and the deed was done. With the househens already on edge with the impending eviction on Friday, they were irritated further by the developments in Ziggy and Channelles relationship, and jealous Rhode Island Red Laura was prompted to christen the happy couple 'Zigelle', while Charley decided that 'Chiggy' would more suit the amorous couple. Whatever they are to be known as, the couple must surely realise that their constant slurping and mutual preening is making them prime targets for eviction soon. By suppertime, the irritable househens were ready for a fight, and a bout of vent pecking ensued over a tub of strawberry tops and cauliflower leaves, left the househens emotional and tired. 'Chiggy' were chased out the Eglu, to roost in the garden and the househens settled in for the evening, disturbed only by Caroles snoring and the odd rogue crow from Seany. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 DAY 14 IN THE BIG CHICKEN EGLU Everyone knows that a chickens favourite treat is sweetcorn and fresh slugs, so when the househens awoke to the aroma of freshly fried slug and corn fritters, excitement ran through the Big Chicken Eglu. Having only won basic rations for this week, the hearty breakfast was eagerly gobbled up, and the househens settled back to digest their breakfast. Sadly, there's always a catch when Big Chicken is benevolent, and it wasn't long before Charley was called to the diary room. The Frizzle was instructed to gather the househens on the tree-stump in the garden, and read the instructions contained within the envelope. It was with a sense of foreboding that the Frizzle followed Big Chickens instructions. "Househens," read Charley to the group, "Today is task day, and to win this weeks luxury hamper, Big Chicken is going to give you a test of both endurance and cunning. You may have noticed a large vat of steaming muck in the run. Big Chicken requires you to don your wet-suits and enter the steaming vat, and remain there till your time is up. Only Big Chicken knows how long it will take, and we have hidden a secret message somewhere in the garden. While 10 of you must enter the steaming vat, 2 of you must search for the message. Failure to stay in the steaming vat for long enough, will result in a failure and the Househens will be provided with basic rations of apple cores and pellets next week." A scuffle ensued, as the girls all desperately tried to be excused from the steaming vat, until cockerel Ziggy stepped in and laid down the law. It was decided that all the househens would don the wetsuits, and enter the steaming vat, and that they would spend the day there, guessing that big Chicken would want them to stay in for at least 6 hours, so with much shrieking and clucking, the househens crowded into the steaming vat and waited. And complained. And sang. And complained. A couple of eggs were laid in the vat. And they complained. And a couple of them had a peck at each other. And they complained. And then, after 10 minutes, they hatched a plan. "They'll never let us starve, even if we lose" pointed out 'Cheesey Quaver, Gingernut Ranger" Tracey, "And they're BOUND to give us mini-tasks to win a wee peach schnapps" pointed out Ziggy, "'Cause we let our feather all hang out after a couple of sips - it makes for better tv" he continued. The househens were all in agreement, so they got out the vat, and ran for the dustbaths. It was no surprise therefore, when Big Chicken announced that they had failed their task, and could look forward to a week of basic rations. By the time the Househens had cleaned and preened themselves, it was time for Big Chicken to announce this weeks nominations, so it was back to the tree stump in the garden to hear the news. Shabnam, Carole and Tracey took the news of their nominations in good spirit, although Carole and Tracey must both still be feeling secure in the house, knowing that Shabnam must be favourite for the pie factory this week. In defiance of the knowledge that no-one likes her in the Big Chicken Eglu, she waited till her fellow househens were settled in the eglu for the night, then started to cluck loudly, clucking out show-tunes till wee small hours. Not even earplugs could drown out the noise of 'Any Preen Will Do', 'Somewhere Over The Eglu' and 'Oh! What a Beautiful Nestbox', and the Wynadotte was lucky to make it through the night with all her feathers intact. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 DAY 15 IN THE BIG CHICKEN EGLU Somedays the Househens wake up in good moods, there is jovial banter around the morning Glug and Grub, and they settle down for a contented day in the run, scratching around the astro-turf for any stray snails that have taken the wrong turn. Then somedays they wake up, they're grouchy and they bicker. They push each other out the Eglu door, they stand on top of each other to get the biggest pellets out the Grub and they settle down for a morning of feather plucking and moaning. This was one of those days when the feathers fly. First off, Wynadotte Shabnam irritated super clean Carole, by standing in a poo, then standing on her head, reducing the Norfolk Grey to tears. With the Wynadotte already in the bad books, after keeping the househens awake with her constant clucking, she was unrepentant, and was banished to the end of the run, to stop her annoying everyone more. Sensing a grumpy day would lead to an early night for the Househens, Big Chicken set them a mini-task, with the promise of some fresh clover leaves and cold noodles if they passed. Providing the houshens with some minatures of Baileys to help the proceedings along, Big Chicken gave them an hour to decide who was the cockiest cockerel in the Eglu. While early money was on Ziggy to win the task, it soon became apparant that the Cream Legbar was more interested in feather straighteners and dustbaths to be a true cocky cockerel, and with Campine Gerry, and White Star Seany both admitting to their preference for girly pasttimes than strutting, it was left to the girls to provide Big Chicken with the eglus cockiest cockerel. Caroles fellow househens declared her the cockiest in the Eglu, and she was summoned by Big Chicken to complete the task. The poor wWnadotte was instructed to plump Big Chickens washing mashine in, and it soon became apparant that she wasn't up to the job. With the words "Carole, you are not a cocky cockerel" ringing in her ears, she was sent out to give the househens the bad news that they had failed yet another task. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 (edited) DAY 16 IN THE BIG CHICKEN EGLU Everyone knows when they enter the Big Chicken Eglu that they may be subjected to rationing of certain items, especially if they prove to be useless at the tasks, so it should have come as no surprise to this years househens when supplies of shredded paper for the nesting box started to run out. First to feel the harsh realities of an unlined nestbox was Wynadotte Shabnam, who quickly realised that she was simply not a girl who enjoyed a cold bottom. So she took it upon herself to sneak into the Eglu, and helped herself to some shredded paper from the nearest pile, thinking that no-one would notice. Unfortunately, clean-freak, eagle-eyed Carole noticed immediately, and within minutes Cream legbar Ziggy was forced to step in and separate the warring hens. The arguements spilled over to lunchtime when it became apparant that someone had swiped a tub of mealworms from the storecupboard, leaving the flock with hungry stomachs, and grumpy heads. As the hunger pangs struck, the thoughts of the househens moved on to their favourite meals, and before long the hungry hens were misty eyed with nostalgia, dreaming of their favourite dinners. Aware that this would be the last night for one of the three househens up for eviction this week, Big Chicken generously handed out a slap up dinner of spinach, cucumber tops and tomato skins to the househens. Add to the mix a half bottle of pernod and half a can of flat cider, and the househens saw the opportunity for a party. They Birdie Danced around the Eglu run, they flapped about in the run dustbath and enjoyed a boisterious game of 'pin the comb on the cockerel' before retiring, giggly, well-fed and tired to the Eglu for the night. With an eviction looming, the househens enjoyed an unsettled night, all aware that there would be a bit more room to wiggle their tail feathers in the Eglu in future. Or would there....... Edited June 15, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfamily Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Shona................this is so much better than BB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenlass Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 LOL I wonder who is going to have to leave...? can't wait for next instalment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 (edited) >>>>>>BREAKING NEWS<<<<<< We've spent the morning circling the Big Chicken compound, we've spoken to everyone who's gone in and out, and we can now reveal that 4 new Cockerels will be entering the Big Chicken Eglu this evening, BEFORE tonights eviction, giving one of the Househens up for eviction a tantalising glimpse of the hunks they could have been mixing with, had they not been so annoying. Big chicken will be welcoming a cricket-playing Welbar, a millionare Maran, a model Plymouth Rock and a Sussex Star who lives his live by cosmic ordering. While we are not allowed to reveal the full identities of the four cockerels entering the Eglu, we can quash the rumours that the Sussex Star is Noel Edmonds. More details as we have them. Edited June 15, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susanbb Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 WOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted June 16, 2007 Share Posted June 16, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted June 16, 2007 Share Posted June 16, 2007 Brilliant Shona! My hairdresser asked me today if I was watching BB. I said no, Big Chicken, and tried to explain the concept. He didn't look convinced! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted June 16, 2007 Share Posted June 16, 2007 Shona please can you confirm that the millionaire maran has postponed his wedding to be in Big Chicken? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susanbb Posted June 16, 2007 Share Posted June 16, 2007 Big Chicken is and I look forward to the daily updates. Well done Shona, you do a grand job Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 16, 2007 Share Posted June 16, 2007 Emma, Big Chicken can confirm that Jonathan HAS postponed his wedding to be a Househen on this years Big Chicken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
