kinsk Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I am so sorry, (and your too Snowberry) A friend of mine committed suicide 4 years ago, the emotions you go through sway from grief at losing someone, guilt and questioning whether you could have, should have done more, anger that they chose to do this, sadness that someone you cared about was in such turmoil that they thought it was the only answer. The hurt for those left behind is indescribable, her poor children It does get easier, we still haven't really got our heads round it but the shock does wear off and you come to accept what has happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickendoodle Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I am so sorry. My work colleague's best friend committed suicide 2 years ago. He felt it very deeply and the shock was absolute. He had been there for his friend for years, trying to help him and still felt a deep sense of guilt that he should have done more. There is nothing more you could have done to help your friend other than to have been there when she needed you. You have no control over another person's innermost thoughts. It is such a very sad way to lose someone as you have not only lost a dear friend but you will probably also feel quite angry with her. I think that these sort of forums are a really good way to work through your feelings with real people but people who don't necessarily know you. If you feel like a rant better to get it out on here than to bottle it up. You might also consider finding a support group for people bereaved by suicide as there are very specific issues to work through which are not there in a "normal" bereavement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Jlo, more {{{hugs}}} from me too, what a terrible shock I know from experience that the support from "detached friends" on here is often much easier to accept than our "home" friends..........thank you all for helping me through my rotten time last year............don't delete this post, you can go back & read it again if you need to & I found that very helpful........ As has been said already, you are not a mindreader & you supported her as much as she would allow you to.....the important thing now is to support those poor boys and help them through the nightmare thay have been plunged into Sha x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaireG Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I am so sorry, what a terrible shock Please don't beat yourself up over this, you did everything your friend would let you do and had no way of knowing this would happen ((hugs)). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I can't do anything other than send big virtual hugs to you. You mustn't blame yourself though, hindsight is a wonderful thing, but that's all it is, there's nothing you could have done to stop your friend doing what she did, but I know hearing that from a stranger is of no help at all now . So very sorry for you ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaP Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I am so sorry and feel for you and her poor family. I can't add anything that hasn't already been said, other than reiterate what a super forum this is and just how supportive everyone is. Lisa P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majuka Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I'm so very sorry for your loss. To lose someone you care about is terrible, to lose that person because they have committed suicide is almost unbearable. As others have said, it will stir so many different emotions in you. In 1993 I lost someone I cared about so very much about to suicide. Despite it being nearly 20 years ago now, it still causes me great pain to think about my friend. There were times that I felt so guilty, should I have realised?, could I have done something different? For a time I also felt so angry at my friend, and that was incredibly hard to deal with. You must be feeling like you are in a black hole right now with no way out. I really am so sorry that this has happened to you.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jlo Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 Thank you all so much. I am glad that I did post in the end as you have all been amazing. I didn't realise that so many people have been touched by depression and I am so sorry to hear of the losses that others have suffered. Thanks again Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freddie Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Depression is an awful thing for anyone to try to deal with, and for all thier friends/family. I'm so sorry your friend couldn't carry on, and that you and her family are left bereft. So sad, and shocking to /for you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henergy Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 This must be terrible for you. Depression is a very complex illness - I unfortunately struggled with it about 4 years ago. It rendered me incapable of being able to accept & make use of any help offered. My thoughts are with you x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckmum6 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Very sorry to hear about your friend, you will need to take time to come to terms with it, so use what ever medium helps you. Omlet was/is very good when I feel the grief swelling up over my mum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Looney Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 So sorry to hear such sad news. My thoughts are with you xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 My thoughts are with you and her family. Suicide is a sad end to a life, but some people consider it to be the only way, we can never see inside someone's head and it is impossible to know how they are thinking. Don't feel bad for not doing more, you couldn't have known. Give what support you can to her family and remember the good times that you all shared. ((hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
