jlo Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I feel a bit odd posting this on here as I only know a couple of you in person but I think of Omleteers as friends. Sadly, the real friend that I would discuss my feeling with is the subject of the topic. My best mate has just committed suicide and I feel so awful for her family and so guilty that I wasn't there for her. She has been suffering with depression for a while now and she was really open about it but I had no idea that she would do this. She had organised her 50th birthday party for next year and was going on holiday with her husband in a few weeks. I know that autumn was never a good time of year for her and it was coming up to the anniversary of her mum's death. Her boys had just started back at school and college and I can't begin to imagine what they are going throgh. Sorry - but it feels cathartic to just air this. Even now - I am wondering - do I delete the post.............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 No, don't delete the post. This must be an enormous shock for you & I have seen just how supportive this forum can be. People with good advice will help you through this. Best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Webmuppet Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 That's awful news, my thoughts are with you, depression is such a horrible illness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigerlily Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 ((((hugs)))) Don't delete! I am so sorry to hear your sad news xxx How awful... I suffer with depression myself and have had a few very low periods... I have always managed to come through it though. I lost a dear friend a few weeks ago too totally out of the blue. What a shock it was and what a shock it must have been for all of you. You have really done the right thing by posting on here xxx Be strong and love to you and your friends family x Take care, we are all here for you if you need us xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Goodness Jlo. I am so, so very sorry. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through. I am sure that you did everything you could for her. It is so very hard to help a loved one who suffers from depression. It is always those that get left behind that I really feel for. Her poor boys.... Sending my love and deepest sympathies to you and her family xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shirl Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I'm sorry that your friend felt the need to end her pain in that way but you aren't responsible. Having posted on here you will find the Omlet family is huge and has given me massive support in the past and I'm sure will do the same for you. Fortunately most Omlet members are better with words than me so can express the feelings that I can't convey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goosey Lucy Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I am so very sorry for you, your friend and her family. Unfortunately you can't be with someone all of the time, I'm sure you did what you could for her. Please take time now to come to terms with your own grief. Although it was a difficult thing to do, thank you for posting. I will be thinking of you x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chucky Mama Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I've sent you a pm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Sending you hugs Jlo.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 How sad - we all ask ourselves 'what could I have done?' at times like this, but you did as much as she would let you. So sorry to hear this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 sending hugs from here too oh my word, what a shock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy ben grace Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Hi, i know i dont know you but i just want to say how sorry i am. Your poor friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you and her family. I know this sounds lame but i do mean it. There but for the grace of god go any of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groovychook Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Oh, I'm so very sorry Thinking of you and sending love xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 How awful for you and her family Don't really know what to say. It sounds like you really couldn't have known she was about to do anything like that. Thinking of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Gosh what a shock... I am so very sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 What a shock for you and her family jlo - treasure your memories of her. We're here if you want to chat. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparkysmum Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Oh jlo, I'm so very sorry to hear this terrible news. I can't begin to imagine how you and her family must be feeling. Truly tragic. I can only hope that somehow her sons will find strength to carry on. I hope they have friends to lean on in the coming days, weeks and months. I hope that you will also find peace. Please don't carry this burden yourself, jlo. Thinking of you all, Alli xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowberry Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I am so sorry for you & her family; This may not be any consolation, but my husband did the same 11 years ago; he seemed fine but depressed on the outside (his father had died 2 days before we moved house 6 months previously), just a bit low, but was so detached from the real world that he couldn't carry on or think of his 13 month old daughter he was leaving behind. You & her family will go through every emotion, sorrow, anger, remorse etc, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, it is just very dark right now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Blimey J, you know you can come over for a hug any time you like! You really mustn't feel guilty - "Ooops, word censored!"ody can read minds so you would never have known what your friend was about to do. Plus your friend probably disguised her feelings of despair so well anyway. So sorry you have lost such a close friend, and I feel for the family. Sending you lots of virtual hugs for now - and you know where I am if you want to chat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I am so sorry (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I do feel for you - frankly if someone is determined they will do it no matter what. Its dreadful for those left. Dont feel in any way you could have stopped it. Many yrs ago I had a female patient who I knew vaguley out of work a few years younger than myself who killed herself. Her relationship with her parents was fractured and she went to their farm and did it. i was distraught as I felt I had failed her despite my efforrts to get her councelling. The reception staff were in 2 minds to tell me when I walked in that day - they broke it to me - how I got thro the day I dont know - cried buckets when I got home. This girl touched my life and I still remember her with affection. Much worse for you as you were her best friend. Lots of hugs love - please dont blame yourself - someone hell bent on suicide will do it sadly someohow. Much Love Ali x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I'm so sorry, please don't blame yourself in any way. There's no way you could know what she would do or to stop it. Don't delete the post either as you may need to talk it out with 'friends' that are not directly involved. Its often easier that way to 'talk' things through. Sending you ((((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 What an awful shock, I'm so sorry . xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 How awful,I do feel for you & for your friends family. I lost my nephew to suicide just a few months ago - he was a young man in his 20's,& the shock was indescribable. He too had been suffering from depression,which we knew nothing about,& we felt pretty terrible knowing that he hadn't come to us for help,not least because we were his guardians after his Mum died at a young age. All I can say is that right now you must be raw with shock & disbelief. It will get better in time,I promise,& you will remember the good things & great times you had with your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WitchHazel Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I'm so sorry to hear this, Her poor family. Suicide is a sad outcome, whoever it is, but it's even more horrible when there are young children left behind. It says a lot about the state of mind of the person who did it, they are so consumed by their own feelings that they see suicide as the only way to stop their pain and they aren't able to see the terrible consequences for the people left behind. There wasn't anything you could have done. It's going to be a traumatic time now, before you can all come to terms with it. Shock. Sorrow, Pain. Guilt...then Anger... Remember that whatever you feel about your friend, whatever you feel about her suicide, you have the right to feel it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
