The Dogmother Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 This had me laughing this morning All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh,going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh for members of the public. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance. Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel of the lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory. Following last year’s well publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions. Finally, in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggasperated Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 We have had an email at work warning about care with attaching tinsel to computers and other electrical equipment ... any Christmas lights must be checked by Facilities, and no standing on desks to attach decorations to the ceiling. No sense of humour at my workplace, sadly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HennyPenny Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Fab! Made me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted December 20, 2011 Author Share Posted December 20, 2011 We have had an email at work warning about care with attaching tinsel to computers and other electrical equipment ... any Christmas lights must be checked by Facilities, and no standing on desks to attach decorations to the ceiling. No sense of humour at my workplace, sadly. *snorts* I've just been standing on my desk to rescue a wasp(!!!!) from a light fitting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mum Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowberry Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Stand on chairs heaven forbid I use the couch, desk whatever is at hand - elf and safety sorry never heard of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Hysterical! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Very funny. Brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spinning Top Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Classic !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lavenders_Blue Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Fab - I love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Get down DM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 My YS really liked this and printed it off to take to work tonight. He's going to put it up on notice board in custody suite at work and maybe the front office. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhotchick Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 I'm going to put it up in work too! Very keen on Elf & Safety in my workplace! Thanks DM! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
