Chicken bald back

[Gertie]

A little rant plus an appeal to see if I'm being unreasonable!

 

My partner is obsessed with our iPad & has been since its purchase 4 years ago! Every night & morning in bed, in the bath & anywhere else he reads articles, watches documentaries & listens to music.

 

I finally plucked up the courage to ask if he could consider wearing headphones and mention that I find it intrusive to my relaxing mornings to have to listen to his music or programmes. After all, I don't do this & I am definite he would be angry if I did! He seemed to be annoyed at my request!

 

So, has anyone else got this problem, am I being unreasonable & have you resolved it?

 

Thank you!

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Doesn't sound unreasonable to me at all . Especially if you've been putting up with it for 4 years .

 

Not sure what to suggest, apart from getting your own tablet and using it without headphones too .

[kinsk]

I think it's a fair enough request. We don't even have a TV in our bedroom, if I can't sleep I will sometimes listen to my ipod but obviously that's with earphones and turned down so he can't hear the sound overspill.

 

The closest I got has been him watching things on the ipad whilst sat next to me and I'm trying to watch the TV, I just handed him a pair of earphones and he got the hint.

 

I suppose 4 years in it's a bit hard to turn the ship now.

[Charlottechicken]

Get him a bluetooth earpiece.

 

OH has to watch telly to get to sleep, whilst I like complete silence. He watches a film on his tablet with his earpiece in, sorted. The earpiece is wireless so he's not likely to strangle himself in bed!

[Gertie]

Thanks for your replies. I did suggest headphones but that didn't seem well received. Think that's the only way forward unless I sleep in the spare room!!!

 

The listening to music has got worse over the last year, before it was not quite so obtrusive! I will suggest Bluetooth headphone thing.

 

I personally think the bedroom should be a relaxing place too but I recognise times are changing with technology, and he is very into technology!

[kinsk]

 

I personally think the bedroom should be a relaxing place too but I recognise times are changing with technology, and he is very into technology!

 

Fair enough but there is a time and a place, plus consideration for others!

[Gertie]

I totally agree! I think it shows a lack of respect for me! Anyway, its been said/asked. Lets see what happens now! Hopefully he's off finding his headphones!!

[The Dogmother]

 

I personally think the bedroom should be a relaxing place too but I recognise times are changing with technology, and he is very into technology!

 

Fair enough but there is a time and a place, plus consideration for others!

 

I agree.

 

I'm tolerant to a point with these things, and won't allow anything like that in my bedroom. If he is impervious to your reasoning, and persists in being insensitive to your feelings, then I'd chuck it out of the window... but that's just my opinion

[Lavenders_Blue]

Agreed - headphones are a must! It's bad enough having the light from the screen flickering in the room while you're trying to sleep, but noise as well?! I'm with DM - chuck it out of the window!

[chuckmum6]

Your request is completely reasonable, but I'm sorry to refuse seems very unreasonable - what is his problem?

[Space Chick]

I use my iPad in bed, but mainly to post on forums and read books.

 

However, hubby likes to have a radio on overnight, quietly in the background.

 

So he sleeps in the spare room, and we both have better nights sleep as a result!!

 

I also like having the cats in bed and he doesn't.

 

We are both happy even if we are "unorthodox"

[Grandmashazzie]

Def agree with headphones.Moving to spare room is a big decision,it sometimes can create a chasm(sp?)which can be hard to bridge.4 years is a long time,you must be super tolerant.I'm with DM I wouldn't have lasted 4 mins it would have been out the window.

[The Dogmother]

.... closely followed by OH

[Gertie]

I am very tolerant anyway, however, I definitely should have said something sooner...

 

Anyway, no sign of the iPad tonight, so something must have got through, fingers crossed otherwise I will donate it to a family member or charity.

 

I appreciate your views that I am not being unreasonable ...

 

Talking of cats, I should rember that actually, he had a no cats on the bed policy. That was a few years ago now. It failed completely and I now have 3 furry friends every night!

[The Dogmother]

I have two cats on the bed most nights; The Boy is only here at weekends, and is well aware that it's a case of 'love me, love my animals'.

[JellyBean2605]

My OH does this but I somehow manage to tune it out and go to sleep, probably due to years of practice falling asleep on the number 63 bus on the way home. I don't think headphones are an unreasonable request though.

[bluekarin]

I love my ipad, but I don't use it in bed. I keep meaning to read my books on it, but the charger is downstairs and am too lazy to move it up and down all the time I do think your OH is being unreasonable, and I fear he is ever so slightly addicted to it, so would be good to break this habit. Also, he can't wind down fully if he is using it all the time. I know I have trouble sleeping if I am on mine too late into the evening. My hubby sometimes watches programmes on his netbook, and although the flicker is a tad annoying, he does use earphones. I hope something is sorted as although 4 years is a long time, it's not too long. Good luck and heres to a peaceful bedroom

[The Dogmother]

I think it would be reasonable to suggest a curfew time; if only to break his habit.

[sadietoo]

I am lucky enough to sleep like a log whilst the oh sometimes struggles. We have no tv in the bedroom and the wifi doesn't work in there But he does read in the middle of the night sometimes so his bedside light is on and that doesn't bother me. Also although I am perfectly happy to share with our somewhat spoiled tabby cat the oh isn't. So spikes is banned from the bedroom overnight although he does join us for a morning cuppa at the weekend. We have a spare room but personally I would not be relegated to it by technology. It's about compromise surely? . Negotiate the times when technology can intrude on your relationship and when it is not wanted. I think that is very reasonable

[chuckmum6]

I am currently in the spare room surfing, while OH snores in our bed, I can't sleep because of it - never mind headphones I need a bulldog clip for his nose! Usually he leaves when I protest and wake him, he can sleep anywhere anytime, I can't sadly and my Nightol isn't working Certainly no pets in my bed ever, the cats know this and steer clear, dogs sleep outside in an insulated dog house.

[The Dogmother]

My folks had issues for years - snoring, insomnia and reading at night - I suggested earplugs (I always have mine by the bed) but they ended up in separate rooms and are happier for that.

[Gertie]

Thought I'd report back as to my success or failure! No intrusive music in the bedroom for the last few days, I put this down to the purchase of a new box set he has been watching (& me too!). Today we had music so I nipped it in the bud with a reminder about headphones & our previous conversations. The music went off immediately amid a storm of sighs & insults! I'm currently enjoying tranquility with the silent treatment! I'll keep plugging away at it buoyed by the knowledge I am not being unreasonable!

[Cinnamon]

I am afraid I would have put my foot down very hard a long time ago - you must have oodles of patience to have put up with it for so long!

I sometimes have trouble sleeping & read in the early hours, but a few months ago I bought a Kindle Paperwhite which is lit, to prevent my Husband being disturbed by the light.

We do have a TV in our bedroom, & The Husband does have a Kindle Fire, but he only uses it to read or browse silently, & the TV goes off earlyish.

 

Good luck - you are not being unreasonable in your request for a bit of peace & quiet!

[Ain't Nobody Here]

I'm glad he's started being reasonable (and hope he stops the sighing soon!)

 

I sometimes have trouble sleeping & read in the early hours, but a few months ago I bought a Kindle Paperwhite which is lit, to prevent my Husband being disturbed by the light.

Same here. I also go to bed later than my OH so love the Paperwhite's ability to lower the light setting .