Solitary chicken - need advice

[Grandmashazzie]

I have been dithering re this for some weeks. My adopted daughter is 15 and I would describe her as vulnerable. She has a ' boyfriend ' she met 9 months ago while ice skating. Thankfully he lives 10 miles away so meeting up is once per week under supervision is the ice bowl. He is a nice lad. I am worried that consequences of actions have never meant anything to her,even as a small child and am worried that she may engage in sex without much thought. I am reasonably sure nothing has happened yet but I don't think I can prevent them meeting more now that summer has arrived and I am running out of reasons to keep them where I can see them. I am worried that if I go to FP clinic it will encourage her to experiment sooner, on the other hand I really don't want her pregnant in year 11.Anyone been in similar situation?

[soapdragon]

Good for you for forward thinking and grasping the nettle!!!!!!

 

However, the pill would prob be out as she would need to remember to take it and that's a bit hit and miss anyway esp if she is 'vulnerable'?. An implant would be a certain bet but maybe have its downsides too in terms of hormones Could you have a chat with your Practice Nurse?

 

Hope you find a workable solution.

[Grandmashazzie]

Yes soapdragon, I am thinking injection maybe first then possibly implant. Vulnerable is an odd way for me to describe her. Even though we have had her since one yr old she has more of her birth family traits. I just read a bit about epi genetics which was very interesting and goes some way to explain how behaviour can take generations to change.

[CatieB]

Good for you for forward thinking and grasping the nettle!!!!!!

 

 

I totally agree with Snapdragon, well done Grandmashazzie.

 

IMHO, particularly as you say she will engage without much thought, I don't think it will encourage her. If she is going to do, then she is probably likely to do it anyway, sounds like you have a good understanding of her. It is better safe than sorry. Good luck

[Cinnamon]

Also make sure you have a supply of condoms in the house & that she has free access to them. Better to promote safe sex and that she knows that even if she is on the pill or whatever, condoms must be used too

[Grandmashazzie]

Yes Indeed Cinnamon I will possibly go through some gruesome pics online of STDs with her. Harsh I know but important.

[Alis girls]

She's lucky to have an understanding mum. I have sent you a PM.

[Alis girls]

Sorry PM wouldn't go. I will try and be discreet. Used to be a clinic for teens called Brook which were brilliant. I always point out to youngsters that if they are old enough to be having sex they need to protect themselves and partner. Also point out illegal before 16. Not that makes a lot of difference.

Sadly the thing I didn't want to talk about the is that today's teens do not always keep things private. She needs to be aware what goes on someone's phone will go viral. YS has received photos which we deleted from his phone it's a big prob at his school. Frankly I think worrying about unwanted preg and an STI is a small problem sad sign of the times. Sorry to be so blunt. I wish my mum had been as understanding as you.

[Grandmashazzie]

Yes Ali's girls. Privacy does worry me, in the past any time I have asked her to keep something private she has told her 'best' friends. Thankfully it was something not overly serious. I will tell her this is very private but I feel it won't be.

[chickencam]

I have spoken to both of my girls at a similar age, YD had an implant just about a year ago, she felt that she wanted to be safe even though nothing had happened at that stage and as far as I am aware still hasn't but she didn't want to find herself in a situation where she was relying on someone else to get things right. She is now 17.

ED chose to have a coil fitted when she met her boyfriend in first year at uni, but she always insisted on barrier protection too.

I take the view that they need the knowledge to take control themselves. I would rather that they were protected.

It is a tricky area though.

[ChrisP]

When picking the contraception, please keep in mind how some types may affect people in different ways. Without going in to too much detail (and I'm certainly not trying to scare anyone off of it!!), I could only have the implant for 9 months because of the side affects and altering my mood. However, I know other people have used it and swear by it! Just worth keeping an eye on her if she does have it, and look out for any mood changes.

I think she is lucky to have you, pre-thinking about these things and the best way to handle them

[The Dogmother]

I hope that you get her sorted Shazzie, and by the sounds of it, her needs will have a bearing on the sort of contraception you choose.

 

As the others have said, the implant and injection don't suit everyone but then the same can be said about the pill. The coil doesn't suit everyone either, and a lot of practices seem to be loath to use it on women who haven't yet had children. As Cinnamon said, barrier contraception s vitally important; do you think that she will comprehend the need for it?

 

Good luck, and i hope that you find an understanding practice nurse to help you with this.

[Grandmashazzie]

I am bypassing the surgery and going to family planning clinic. My friend fostered a girl who had a boyfriend. They went to GP who said she would be loathe to put her on pill as it effects bone growth,she was 15 I don't know how her pregnancy a couple of months later affected her bone growth. But I do know the upset it caused all round when her little 3 yr old was taken into care.

[chickencam]

How rediculous

Better safe than sorry is the best way for youngsters whilst they learn actions and consequences in a slightly less upsetting way

[Cat tails]

I've been on the pill since my 13th, because of problems with my cycle. Never had any problems. Did switch to a lighter version a while ago.