Elderly cat breathing difficulties when purring

[Goosey Lucy]

What would you say was a suitable time for my nearly 8 year old son to go to bed?

 

At the moment I have the 4 yr old in bed for 7 and the elder is in bed for 7:30. I'm starting to wonder if this is too early, a friend called round last night at 7:20 and her daughter (same age as ES) was in the car with her. Tonight his friends who live in our street were playing in the street at 7:30 (but they were gone by 7:45).

 

As it's not a school night I've said he can read/play on his PSP til nearly 8 then it's lights out. But am I being unreasonable, lots of his friends are up until 8 during the week and til 9 at the weekends. He doesn't get to play on the PSP much at all, YS keeps interfering!

 

He hasn't complained about lying in bed awake or waking particularly early but he's almost always awake and ready to go at 7 when YS yells 'Morning everyone!' from his bedroom next door.

 

My dilemma is that both boys are up at 7am, I don't want to send them to school tired but I also don't want to 'baby' ES. I cherish my evenings, especially as OH is away 6 days out of 7 at the moment. I'm running around all day so at the moment 7:30 is my 'me' time. (Also known as forum time )

 

I've decided to ask all of you for your thoughts and opinions so please don't be backwards in coming forwards (as if!!)

[Tessa the Duchess]

I am an oldfashioned believer in children needing lots of sleep, and I was really strict when my kids were little, and I still count nearly 8 as little. Mind you there were no computer games in the olden days, and NO tellys in the bedroom. I think lights out at 8 is ok for the older one, that means he is getting about 11 hours sleep. If you start the 'later when it's not a school night' then you are stuck with this time all through the holidays, not a good idea. You definitely need some ME time, I longed for 9.30 when at last all the chores were done, and I could sit down with a glass or two and listen to the radio.

 

Tessa

[Deb Dav]

I would stick with the routine you have for bedtimes and enjoy your evenings.

 

Before you know it your 8 year old will be 9..10..11.. etc and will be nagging you to stay up later when they know how to read the time properly, what time it is, what time his mates go to bed and so on....

 

My boys have always had a strict bedtime routine since they were babies and even now my eldest son who is nearly 14 goes to bed with lights out at 9pm. Lucky for me he is happy about that because he does like his sleep. My youngest who is nearly 10 once his head hits his pillow at 9pm is fast asleep and both wake up happy and not moody ready for the school day.

 

Must admit though during holidays and Fri/Sat nights it is later but then they are in their bedrooms having time to themselves.

 

So why change something if it works.......for now!

[Guest]

My DS is just 10, in year 5 and it has only been this year that he has been allowed up until 8pm. Previously he was always in bed by 7:30pm. Now I have left his room by 8pm. My concession is that he can read for a while. I don't supervise the length of this too much, trusting that he will get sleepy and stop of his own accord. It seems to work well most of the time.

 

Stick to your own rules and don't allow other people to intimidate you! Some children are up till 11pm and fall asleep at their desks. Your children will be wide awake and ready to learn and be interested.

[little chickadee]

My daughter is not normal in this respect. My 6 yr old has lights off and a story cd on at 7.30/ 8ish, but my 8 year old has never really slept much. When she was a baby she was NEVER asleep before midnight. Luckily this has been ok since she learnt to read. She goes up to bed the same time as my son, but she is allowed to read until she falls asleep. She is quite often still awake when we go to sleep, but that's how she has always been and I think she always will be - we've just managed it with books and she doesn't bother us downstairs or interfere with ME time too much (some nights she finds lots of excuses to come down. I think it just depends on the individual child. Go with what you feel is right.

[missuscluck]

In the week my 10 year old has lights out at 9pm and my 12 year old has lights out at 10pm but he is in bed at 9pm then reads or watches TV.

 

We have got slack over that one too. When they were smaller it was books or nothing. No TV. I still say no ps or computer to son after 7pm. I have had to stretch this a bit as he does his homework when he gets home so dosent really get any time for ps or computer. Personally I really dont like the idea of ps then bed. Not sure tv is much better though really in the great scheme of things Sometimes you have to go with the flow a bit. (have to say, it sends me to sleep on a regular basis )

 

My kids just go to bed on there own with no prompting from me now. They are old enough for things to flex a bit. Its not as structured as it used to be when they were little. When they were younger it was always lights out at 8pm for a long while both the same I can remember my elder one fighting me for 'special privelege' as he was older to stay up later.

 

It really depends on your son, weather he gets tierd or not. My daughter needs her sleep and is grumpy if she doesnt get it and my son just dosent need it. They are all different! 8pm bedtime sounds ok for an 8 year old. If he wants to stretch it give him an extra 10 mins and have a story. My daughter still loves a story (son, no longer interested) enjoy it while you can.

[Goosey Lucy]

Thanks for your thoughts everyone. In all honesty I think I posted this hoping to have my own beliefs upheld.

 

Sometimes when you're on your own you have doubts about why you're doing something.

 

I'll stick to our usual routine with just the occasional treat (like tonight.)

 

Now where's the bottle opener?

[Deb Dav]

Now where's the bottle opener?

 

My thoughts exactly.

 

I am in the same boat as you but my husband works abroad 3 months at a time and childen are great ones for routine.

 

I am here in my living room on the laptop and both my boys are in their rooms already doing their own thing - I can hear them though - they are both playing their electirc guitars.....

[Goosey Lucy]

they are both playing their electirc guitars.....

 

YS has a pretend electric guitar. He has been singing 'smoke on the water' (duh duh duuuh, du duh du duuuh' since he was 2.5!

 

ES has drum lessons at school...

 

I still prefer music to sports tho'

[Egluntyne]

Stick to what suits you best. You are the boss!

 

Special treats and a little laxity during the school hols are lovely for the children....but you are right about them needing to have plenty of sleep.

 

And a few precious moments of peace and quiet for you to recharge your batteries are VITAl.

 

Ice and lemon?

[Goosey Lucy]

Ice no lemon, thanks!

 

(Make it a large one)

[SarahJo]

I have wondered about this too - as "local" children seem to be out later than mine. Eldest, age 8 bed by 8pm and youngest age 6 usually lets us know when he wants to go - between 7.30 and 8pm. Holidays upto 8.30, and both had a treat and 9.45pm after the Man Utd match on tuesday - but very rarely this late.

 

They are sleeping in longer now - and OH is working away - so Mums rules and 8-8.30am in the hols. Have a shock at weekends when OH wakes at 6.30am - . School days they are up between 7-7.30, so always in bed and lights off at 8pm.

 

Go with what suits you and your children - grumpy and tired peeps are a pain the next day, whatever the age

[Yorkshire Pudding]

I think you're being sensible and reasonable - my 8 year old is in bed at 8 and the 6 year old by 7.30 on school nights; we have to be up and out by 7 on the days I work, so they'd never get enough sleep any other way. 8 year-old has at times said that some of his classmates are up till 9 or later . I think this is too late.

 

At weekends and holidays they are allowed to stay up a little later, but they are in the routine of being up and about early every day, so not too much later unless it's a special occasion - otherwise they are grumpy and no fun at all !

[Lesley]

My daughter has the same problem - they live in a cul-de-sac and the other children(4 of them) are all allowed to stay up late. My 'nearly 8' grandson has the same bedtimes as your son, and is allowed to stay up a bit later during school holidays and, as SarahJo says, for the occasional treat.

 

They may appear to rebel against it but children are generally happier with clear boundaries..... and they do need their sleep.

[bronze]

My lot go to bed at 7.00 but lately I've been wondering what to do with ES. Hes 5( yesterday) and wakes up naturally at about 6.30. Which is fine and normal for young children except he wont go to sleep in the evenings. Hes often still awake and rattling around in his bed at 10.00. Any ideas what to do? Its great saying they need boundaries and I agree with that hence being one of those people witha proper bedtime but when hes rattling around he can sometimes wake up his brother who shares a room. Hes never been much of a sleeper. As a baby a good night was one where I got 3 hours and he didnt sleep during the day either. I was thinking of keeping him up til 8 but it seems that that is more the bedtime of an 8 year old....

[Jules.]

I've beocme very lax about bed times We do get them in bed at a good time, but we can't force them to sleep.

 

Why is it that it's really hard to get children up & ready & out on a school morning, yet on a weekend they are up with the lark & raring to go!

[Strepsy]

I still send mine up at about 7:30 in the week and they're 13, 12 and 8 now I get really stressed if I don't have a couple of hours peace in the evening. There's time spent getting changed/brushing teeth of course, then the older two will do homework or read or whatever for an hour and I let little one wind up her wind-up lamp and she can play or read or watch a video until it runs out (about 15 minutes). It drives me mad in summer when next door let their kids play in the back garden 'til 10 o'clock at night even on school nights. My youngest ends up with head out of the window talking to her friends, as they are very loud. There's not really much chance of getting to sleep until they've gone in...

[Cinnamon]

Mine go up at 10 on a school night & 10.30/11 at weekends, but they are 13 & 15.

As they get older it gets more & more difficult to enforce decent bed times

[Lesley]

My lot go to bed at 7.00 but lately I've been wondering what to do with ES. Hes 5( yesterday) and wakes up naturally at about 6.30. Which is fine and normal for young children except he wont go to sleep in the evenings. Hes often still awake and rattling around in his bed at 10.00. Any ideas what to do? Its great saying they need boundaries and I agree with that hence being one of those people witha proper bedtime but when hes rattling around he can sometimes wake up his brother who shares a room. Hes never been much of a sleeper. As a baby a good night was one where I got 3 hours and he didnt sleep during the day either. I was thinking of keeping him up til 8 but it seems that that is more the bedtime of an 8 year old....

 

Lauren was the same Bron - needed very little sleep. She was always wide awake by 4.30 - not wanting to snuggle in anyones bed, but "I'm awake - let's all get up and have breakfast" awake She had two breakfasts for years She was fine once she started to read, and she still has a set bedtime but is allowed to read. A bit difficult when they've only just started school though.....will he look at picture books?

[Valkyrie]

I do believe in the owl and lark - I am an owl, OH is a lark. It seems to be the same for the children - daughter is a lark and son is an owl. For those owl children it is hard for them to sleep if they go to bed too early, so for son, we said bed by a certain time, but he could read. He probably read for about half an hour and turned his light off when he felt ready for sleep. Daughter used to touch the pillow and go straight off - although she was up too early! Although both in their teens, it is hard to enforce bed times I agree, especially now they say that teens brains are more active in the midnight hours, and I'll agree with that. Problem is neither now want to get up unless they have to. Also you can't really do a Zebedee on a young man - even if his behaviour during his awake time is that of a 4 year old! However the last couple of nights son has been asleep before I went to bed - ah the joys of working!

I agree it is very irritating when you get peer pressure, eg Little Lord Fauntleroy down the road can do this - you have to stay firm, otherwise they will play that card again and again. It'll come back to bite you in the bum when they are teenagers, but they will appreciate (eventually) the rules of the house, although they will test you until you no longer have the patience of a saint. I think we are beginning to come out of the Kevin years (about time too)!

[superjules]

I agree with the majority. Mine are in bed by 7 on school nights (6 and 4) and 8 if it's a weekend or school holiday.

 

Even if they are not tired enough to go straight to sleep, it doesn't hurt to have some wind-down quiet time, on their own.

 

I would have thought that 7.30-8 is reasonable for a nearly 8yo, although, they are your children, it's you who knows them best and has to live with the consequences, so it's entirely up to you (not your kids' friends' parents or anyone else!). I can remember being 6/7 and going to bed straight after Crossroads!

[Keanie Bean]

Mine all go to bed between 7 and 8 at the very latest and they are 15 months 3 and nearly 9. If they are left any later I really pay the consequences the next day . All children are different but I am a firm believer in routines for kids, especially at bedtimes. The nextdoor neighbours kids are often awake after we are at 11 and 12 midnight, they frequently miss school and always seem to be screaming at each other or crying. I know which way I prefer, but as long as your children are happy (that doesnt mean just getting thier own way though), do what feels right for you.

 

Sarah.x

[Goosey Lucy]

Well I no longer feel guilty about the boys' bedtimes. We shall stick with things as they are with the occasional weekend late night.

 

Thanks for all your comments, I didn't think I was being unreasonable, just wanted to check.

 

They both love their story at bedtime and ES can listen to music/read play for a little bit longer as he gets older. I definitely have two larks but they are trained to be quiet until 7am.

 

Cheers everyone

[ajm200]

When we were little we had to be in bed by 7 and this was extended to 7:30 when we went to Junior School and 8 when we reached 10.

 

I can remember being allowed to sneak downstairs after bedtime on weekends occasionally to watch something special on TV and be allowed to share a takeaway with my parents. It used to make me feel very grown up but even then I was back in bed by 9.

 

I think children need a regular early bedtime and lots of sleep but saying that my toddler was still up at 9:15 last night with no intention of sleeping, so I guess I need to be stricter. The clock change has really messed up his sleep pattern

[Guest]

I trained mine virtually from birth. I always left a picture book at the bottom or side of the cot and the babies looked at that as soon as they were able to get it.