Mrs

[Seagazer]

I think you probably all know what has happened here. My son's friend Rob was murdered on Friday night. I never thought I would have to talk something like this through with any of my children. What do you say to someone you love? Three of his friends were also stabbed. I hate to say it but I am so glad he wasn't with them that night.

 

Its hard with my 10 year old. He wants to move now, there was a air rifle shooting at the bottom of our road last week. A boy was hit in the neck. Jack doesn't like going down to the bottom of the road now.

 

I don't know what my neighbourhood is coming to - its leafy suburbia - ok London is sprawling out but Sidcup was never like this.

 

I'm sorry to post this but I just needed to say it.

[Couperwife]

oh my word.

 

I am so sorry for your / their loss.

 

I really dont know what to say, but I am sorry and loads of hugs.

 

 

cathy

x

[Guest]

Seagazer, I'm so sorry to hear about this. It must be so depressing to be stuck in a neighbourhood you thought was all right, but now doesn't feel safe. It is a lot for your sons to deal with and I for one, wouldn't want my children exposed to such bad things. Childhood should be happy, secure and safe.

 

There isn't much I can say to help is there? I'm just really sorry these horrible things have happened - and are happening all over London all the time, so it seems.

 

xx

[Helly Welly]

I'm so sorry, how devastating for you and especially your son.

 

Personally, i would move as i would want my child to feel safe. Not that anywhere is immune to trouble nowadays but maybe a fresh start would help.

 

That's my personal view though, you'll have to see what's best for your family. At the moment, it's all too raw to make any decisions about your future.

 

My condolences to your family and also Rob's family.

[Tessa the Duchess]

These terrible incidents are shocking for everyone, but to be personally involved with one is awful, I'm so sorry for the loss of your son's friend, and hope his other friends recover from their injuries. I know Sidcup really well, I was brought up in Welling and my mother lived there until about 4 years ago. I agree it isn't the sort of area you would expect to find this kind of thing happening, but sadly even the nicest areas are not immune to violence any more

 

Tessa

[Seagazer]

Thanks for the replies, its nice that people care.

 

My son will be starting college in September and doesn't want to move but myself and my youngest want to go. We were actually down at the coast yesterday when my son phoned us with the news. We would like to go to live there, but as you say this could happen anywhere but it just sems to getting worse.

 

Why do people carry knives? What has gone wrong with society that they think they need them?

 

A nice boy with a good future ahead of him has died for nothing and his friends have all been damaged one way or another.

[Seagazer]

Tessa - I'm glad you know it was not that sort of area. My sister moved to the coast last year. Her in-laws are moving from Welling next week down to the coast.

 

I want to move to a house in the middle of a big bubble and not have to leave it ever again.

[Paola]

Oh Seagazer, how awful I am so sorry to hear what your family are going through You will know in your heart what the right thing will be to do. Deepest sympathy to you and Rob's family at this difficult time.

 

Px

[lisa33]

I just wanted to say how sorry I am about your son's friends.

 

Lots of love to your family.

[hilda-and-evadne]

For what it's worth, I think that one should listen to one's instincts. From what you say, for you now is the time to move. Young men are particularly vulnerable to knife crime in cities but both Rob's death (and that of Jimmy Mizen, in Lewisham) were perhaps uniquely meaningless. They were both good guys who fatally misjudged a dangerous situation.

[Stevie]

Why do people carry knives? What has gone wrong with society that they think they need them?

 

 

I would imagine its a lot to do with bravado and their desire to protect themselves from attack,but often-their own weapon is used on themselves in a fight so goes the other way.Our society has changed and not for the better in my opinion.

 

Once upon a time-disagrements were sorted out using fists,but now cowards use knives.

I know murders have always gone on and is actually on the decrease,but it just seems those that do happen are more and more savage.Sometimes im ashamed to be part of the human race.

[jackiepoppies]

Hi Seagazer

Just to let you know wer'e thinking of you over here. We hear of so many dreadful things going on nowadays it's frightening to think what sort of society our young grandchildren will grow up in.

In 1975 we moved out of London to the very pleasant suburb of Watford so the children would have a more 'rural' life! In 1983 we moved to Deal so we could take them back 10 years in lifestyle, absolutely fantastic, kids had a lovely lifestyle and loads of friends. Then my eldest got a motorbike and ended up in a wheelchair! Moral of the story is you can only do your best and moving can't neccessarily protect them the way you want to...but at least you can do in the place you want.

Jackiex

[Seagazer]

Thanks again for the love and sympathy obviously we are on the outside of this but it is still devastating.

 

I've always told my son if anyone ever starts an argument to just walk or preferably run away. Trouble is if one of your friends is being attacked what do you do? I think this is where Rob became a victim. I can't even begin to think of the low life scum that did this to him and the other boys.

 

Jackie I'm so sorry to hear that about your son - my husband has had his motorbike for about 2 months now and I hate it every time he goes on it. My youngest is always asking to go on it. I always say no.

[jackiepoppies]

Have PM'd you

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Oh my word, Seagazer, I can't believe your post . I am so sorry for everybody involved in this dreadful situation . I hope your son gets over this terrible tragedy - it's not something any child, whatever age, should have to go through.

 

Jackie, I'm so sorry to hear about your son too. What an awful thing to happen .

[jackiepoppies]

Thanks ANH. We've all got something somewhere along the line that we have to cope with.....think it's called life skills though not quite sure what it's done for me!

Jackiex

[Geoid]

how dreadful

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7419185.stm

[missuscluck]

How awfull. What a waste.

Jackie, sorry to hear about your son too.

[buffie]

So very sorry, words fail me

 

I heard the news today and just wonder....why?

 

BBx

[SarahJo]

Words just absolutely fail me at this point, in our society and all that.

 

Tragic waste - and sympathies to all, will it ever stop .

[Seagazer]

Thanks everyone - he is holding up fairly well although you can tell by the tone of his voice that he is very down. He has just gone with his friends down to the Metro Bar - I think he's probably fed up of me keep asking him if he's ok and cuddling him, don't know if its pmt or the menopause to blame but I keep blubbing. Got to pull myself together.

[Yorkshire Pudding]

There isn't much I could say that others haven't already - what a terrible waste, I'm so sorry for your son and his friends and of course for the family of the young man so tragically killed.

 

With regard to moving, please remember that you are all in shock at the moment. and that it might be best to give this enormous decision some time... if you still feel the same in a few weeks or months then perhaps it is time to move. I have boys of my own and I completely understand your feelings and fears - it's so hard to give them a proper childhood and still equip them to function in society as it is now. We worry every day that our two are not terribly streetwise, but also that being too streetwise would be a bad idea... striking the balance is so difficult.

[Egg Lou]

So sorry to read your post.. best wishes and sympathy to all involved.

[Cooks]

So sorry to read this

[Roxanne]

Could not believe this thread - how dreadful for you and your family Seagazer.

My husband went to our local mall last Saturday morning and was attacked from behind by a youth and ended up on the floor with a can shoved in his face. No one came to his aid until the youth walked away then everyone came running. My husband (who is 54) would normally hit back but was more concerned this kid was going to pull a knife on him.

 

As an adult, my husband has managed to put this incident behind him but for your son to lose his friend in such a manner it mustbe so difficult to understand. At the local schools/colleges they normally have a contact with a professional who will come in and speak to the friends in this type of case and help them through the psychological trauma they must be going through. It is best to deal with this asap.

Love and thoughts to you and the bereaved family... there can be nothing worse than losing a child in this way.