Prolapsed vent - am I getting it right?

[Lapinou]

I just have this huge thing in my mind all the time at the moment, and not really anyone willing to listen to me going on about it! My DD3 has weaned from breastfeeding at the age of 18m. I know that's old for our culture, but it's young for me...my older two didn't wean until they were nearly 3.

 

I'm a bit and a bit and a bit - she's been making me sore so I've been distracting her far more than I normally would. Then I worked at the weekend and was out for two whole days. She's not had any milk from me for four days and hasn't asked for nearly 3 days.

 

I kind of feel guilty that it's my fault, but she certainly seems to be ready for it - my older two I had some input in the weaning of too, and my 'guideline' was that I'd only stop them if they didn't get distressed and they found restrictions on feeding very distressing at DD3's age. DD3 doesn't though and this young weaning is very strange for me

[Paola]

Try not to be to hard on yourself ((hug)) DD2 refused to feed from me at 9 months

[Helly Welly]

You've done so well to feed her for that long. I lasted all of four days , neither of use could get the hang of it and DD was getting hungry so we switched to bottles. I admire anyone who can breastfeed at all, let alone for as long as you have.

[Goosey Lucy]

Hi,

 

All I can say is that if she is ready to be weaned then I believe you have to follow her.

 

Breastfeeding until 3 isn't regarded as necessary in terms of nutrition however the emotional needs of you/your children meant that they were weaned at 3 yrs.

 

I found it strange when my youngest child weaned himself of the breast, I had made the decision with my eldest child due to discomfort but my youngest came to the decision of his own accord. I felt a huge feeling of rejection but accepted that it was time to stop.

 

Hope this helps,

[Ain't Nobody Here]

I think you just have to go along with each child's differences. My ES breastfed till 14 months but YS stopped at 12 months even though I was happy to continue.

 

Try not to take it personally - they'll all have different likes and dislikes all through their childhoods, it's no reflection on you as a mum .

[Snowy]

I think there is too much pressure to wean at the mother's convenience, rather than the babes Well done for going so long with the older two, but ultimately every child is different aren't they? After failing miserably to feed for longer than 2 weeks with no 1, I was determined to succeed next time. No2 self weaned as soon as he discovered solids at 6 months, no3 went a full 9 months 18 months would've been a bonus!

[Egg Lou]

You've done so well to feed her for that long. I lasted all of four days , neither of use could get the hang of it and DD was getting hungry so we switched to bottles. I admire anyone who can breastfeed at all, let alone for as long as you have.

 

 

I agree! 3 weeks was my limit.. you have done brilliantly!

[Chickvic]

Don't feel bad! Both of mine self weaned at about 2 years. I felt lucky to have been able to do it for as long as I had, and there is always the feeling of guilt, and rejection when they stop. They know if they're ready and nothing you do will change it! My sister's youngest (of 4) stopped at 12 months and she was heartbroken as she'd fed hers until they were 2, she refused to talk about it at all until she felt she could say something without bursting into tears. Every one is different and it obviously suits her.

I bet the new baby will be different again!

[Lapinou]

Thanks everyone for the kind messages. I don't feel sad in a rejected way - she's a very, very cuddly girl - I think it's more nostalgia...my baby's growing up! Still, got another one coming soon to make up for it

 

And I'm also aware how lucky I am to have had the support and help to get as far as 18 weeks, let alone 18 months. I've not had a gap between babies ever, so have been breastfeeding solidly for 5 years...this four day gap is the longest I've had since my first was born. It just feels strange.

 

Ho hum...she's obviously secure and happy and is very, very healthy. Just not looking forward to dealing with the terrible twos without my secret weapon (boobs) to fall back on

[Shirl]

Lots of LOs self wean when mum is in the 2nd trimester so I guess she just decided late. I weaned DD1 at 2yrs 4 months because I didn't want to tandem feed and I was 6 1/2 months pregnant by then. I think you've done really well and she may well change her mind when the new baby arrives. I'm sure I'd feel the same if DD2 gave up at 18 months (she's 15months now).

[Lailapet]

I think you have done well and should congratulate yourself rather than feel guilty!

 

I was a very "new age" mother with my daughter and really let her decide when to do what and she never had a bottle at all. When she was 11 months and started walking she simply had no time for the feeding. We both felt it was perfect, natural and as I had gone back to working part time it also fitted in nicely in the time plan without any pressure.

With my son I was determined to repeat the success but at the same time I had been slightly frustrated at never being able to leave my daughter with anyone for long because she wouldn't take a bottle. So I decided to give my son the occasional bottle for that reason and because his father wanted to be involved in the feeding now and then. Big mistake! At 6 months he found out that the bottles gave much more with less effort than me, so he weaned himself onto the bottle instead.

 

Oh well, I have two happy, intelligent, healthy children, so you'll be fine after the initial emotional stage.

 

Laila

[freddie]

Daughter abandoned me with no warning at 8 months... I nearly popped, as it was full on one day, and 0 the next!!

Son was 12 months to the day!!

[Snowy]

At least you have another one to look forward to Lapinou

 

The worst time is when you know it's your last baby and they start losing interest - oh those precious last few feeds - very emotional! *sniffs*

[Jules.]

I wonder if your milk has started to taste different now because of the colostrum?

I made it to 8 1/2 months with Alexander- it coincided with me going back to work full time & one night he just refused to feed

Since having Ethan I read that he could have been having a nursing strike- whatever it was i had to get some pretty nasty meds from the docs to dry up my milk- I thought I was going to explode

Ethan was 33 months when I weaned him, I found it really hard being the only one to be able to put him to bed, & would fall asleep in his bed with him & wake up later & feel terrible. He still loves cuddles

 

It's such an emotional bond with your child, but she has made the decision, & she seems happy with it. You have done/are doing a great mothering job

[..lay a little egg for me]

Getting sore when breastfeeding is an early sign of pregnancy....it was certainly my first indicatino with my second pregnancy. My son was having an early morning feed until about 2 yrs which just stopped when he started sleeping later and going straight to breakfast on waking. If left to their own devices each child will stop naturally when they are ready. I'm sure you have done the right thing and also as Jules says, I think the composition of milk does change with your new pregnancy so it is probably not 'tailored' correctly for daughter any more.

 

The 18 months of feeding will have created a lovely bond between you...

[chickencam]

My ED just wouldn't feedfrom me we struggled and expressed for 2 weeks then stopped for mine and her sanity

 

DS fed for 8 months and then stopped, I think my milk supply had dropped because he slept so long at night 14 hours sometimes- he was a lovely baby

 

YD fed for 6 months and I hadto give up because my health was suffering, I was exhauseted with 2 little ones and a baby and breastfeeding was one thing too many I was really sad because I loved feeding her and I knew that she would be my last.

 

Well done so far 5 years, that is a long time so a couple of months off will probably do you good.

[The Dogmother]

You've done really well Clare, look back on those times with enjoyment and look forward to the new baby.

 

 

I cried buckets when Rosie decided to wean herself.

[Yorkshire Pudding]

ES was very difficult to latch on, although otherwise an angelic baby. I managed with a combinations of expressing and breastfeeding and he rejected the breast at 6 months. I had to return to work ful-time after 4 months which probably didn't help. YS was a doddle to feed and fed for two years but then it was just time to stop, for him and for me too. It was sad but he moved on in his development quite rapidly once he saw himself as weaned so I got over it... I do feel a pang when I see friends breastfeeding their babies, but I'm grateful for having had the support to be able to feed at all, so many friends gave up or never even tried out of lack of confidence.

 

My aunt is a community midwife and says that every feed they have from the breast is a step in the right direction - even if you only manage it for a short time. You've fed yours for far longer than many babies ever get - feel proud and look forward to the next one!

[The Dogmother]

A friend of mine is training as a breast feeding counsellor. I'd love to be able to do something like that.

[Yorkshire Pudding]

My Auntie says the breastfeeding support is the hardest bit of her job, but the most rewarding because it so boosts the confidence of mums when they do it.

 

The other hardest bit is not laughing when some of the mums tell her what they've named their babies.

 

 

Sorry, that's off topic and Fred might be watching......(scurries off)

[Geoid]

Sorry, that's off topic and Fred might be watching......(scurries off)

(Im always watching mwhahaha)

[Lapinou]

Ok, confession time...I am a breastfeeding counsellor myself - for the NCT. It's one thing to supporti other mothers...quite something different when it's you going through a tough time!

[bronze]

It could be your milk is tatsing slightly different at the moment because you're pregnant.

[ajm200]

Don't feel bad. You've done so well to breast feed all of your children for so long. Your Daughter obviously feels ready to be weaned. Every child is different.

 

My son decided at 5 months that he'd had enough. He'd get frustrated, scream and bite me. No amount of coaching at local groups could get us back on track so he's been on formula since then.

 

I'm hoping to feed the next one myself for a year or longer if I can but we'll have to wait and see.