hils78 Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Ok I'm not planning on backing out of it & at one point we decided to postpone but its on because a few nearest & dearest family (my sister & boyf) are going travelling. So I'm meant to be getting married on Aug 1st - 3 weeks away Its going to be the lowest of low key of affairs. I even got a frock last week after alot of stressing that I didn't want a white dress for a Civil marriage etc etc (would be easier if I did want one). So I decide to buy the 2nd dress I tried on out of about 40! Even better it had £50 knocked off in the sale taking it to below £100. I get sorted in the fitting room & it fits wonderfully. I wasn't too keen on where the pattern fell on the dress (its a print) so off I trundle & get a different dress (same style & size) but the pattern looked much better. So 1 week on I decide to try it on & its like its been made out of 3 different sized panels its wonky & the bones aren't the same length (its a symmetrical so should be the same). I've been back today to John Lewis & they don't have any left. Now my sister says you really can't tell but because its quite fitted at the top it just feels wrong & I want to feel comfortable. I've just felt the stress levels rise which is defeting the point of having a low key wedding. I'm not looking forward to it! Although I'm a size 10 I'm really not confident at looking good especially in dresses! I'm more of a jeans & vest top kinda gal! < I really wish we had just not told anyone & got 2 people off the street as witnesses then I could have worn my 'posh jeans', Jamie could have worn his combats & we could have had the music we wanted. aaagh!!! Even though it wasn't meant to be about the 'family' I've found we are compromising so as to not offend anyone. Winge over! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Try not to worry, make it your day and decide to enjoy it no matter what... I am a jeans and vest top girl too, and my wedding dress (although ivory and kind of traditional) was the cheapest in the shop - not cause I wanted it to be the cheapest, but I found fault with all the posh numbers, and that one instantly made me think 'yes, that's the one'.... After the ceremony, just pop your jeans on and your OH pops his combats on and have a great giggle and let it be just what you want and take the smiles to lead for the rest of your lives... leave the stress behind... there is always way more pleasing others than one would hope for (we had planned one way, thinking we were very tolerant and open and inviting, only to be pressured into more formal and wide inviting), but still this is the day you will keep remembering, so focus on what you will like about it... Have a ball Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina C Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Oh dear. You have just listed some of the reasons I have never been married. You are bound to have the jitters but I am sure it will all work out on the day. A friend of mine told me she loved being the centre of attention all day - hope you do too (you think you won't now but you probably will ) I am off to a wedding on Saturday - I love a good wedding (someone else's) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I know how you feel, we didnt want the whole big wedding thing either, my parents were quite newly divorced and had new partners and werent really speaking and it was one big worry. So off we toddled to the Seychelles on our own and got married next to the beach - an easy solution. I really hope your day goes well and how you planned. good luck and congratulations, im sure you will look Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faye&Ant Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Hi hils78, just wanted to say try not to get too stressed about it (easy to say) whatever you want to do or wear, then so be it, it is your day and im sure it will be perfect no matter what I now its a few weeks away but good luck, I hope the day goes well and that you enjoy it to the full Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I bought a dress off the rack and got it altered by a dressmake so that it fitted perfectly, are you able to find a local seamstress/dressmaker? Most bridal shops can recommend one. Hope you enjoy your day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Congratulations. Have a wonderful day and we expect pictures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cate in NZ Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Oh, good luck and I hope that you have a wonderful day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 1) It's YOUR day, so do what you want! You will be the centre of attention, and you want to feel comfortable - I think you should try and get the dress right, so that you're not stressing about it - but if you don't want white, then don't wear white. You only do this once (hopefully ). 2) Feeling nervous at this stage is natural. It's all the expectations of other people that are stressing you, not the actual thought of being married to your OH. 3) Enjoy! This is the one time in every woman's life when she can be the centre of attention without feeling selfish or vain - people are coming to see you get married because they love you and your OH, not because they want to see you in a posh frock or to get a free glass of champers. Make it your day, and as Ziggy says, if that means that after the ceremony you put your (posh) jeans on and a nice sparkly white vest, then that's you! It will give you some great photos to look back at. I wish you lots of luck and happiness - and a lovely day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hils78 Posted July 9, 2008 Author Share Posted July 9, 2008 Thanks guys, I'm feeling much better today. Just dreading yet another day in town shopping (or taking back faulty dresses!)- or try & track down a seamstress. Anyway I'll keep y'all posted. I might even go into a bridal shop & look at brides maid dresses (for me!). I've got to get my finger measured for the ring size as Jamies mum is giving us hers & Jamies dads old wedding ring. (dad died when Jamie was very young & she's re-married). So that'll be something positive & have less of an impact on our carbon footprint (have you seen how distructive mining for gold is ?). I think you're right Ziggy I will have to adopt a 'I'm going to enjoy this even if it kills me (through gritted teeth!) attitude. Don't worry you'll get lots of pictures of the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenanne Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I think loads of people feel like you do as The Day gets nearer! I did. Take a deep breath, relax, and remember that it isn't about the dress, or the shoes, or the cake, or the flowers, or the music, or all the other things which are driving you demented jsut now... You'll have a great day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Hi Hils78, try Debenhams, Beaties & even BHS for dresses suitable for a wedding. They have some lovely ones in at the mo! Even Monsoon do some nice dresses, you could even wear those afterwards! Everything will come together! Good luck! Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I know how you feel, I hate to be looked at and on the morning of my wedding felt like running away with hubby to be. We had a very small wedding on a Thursday afternoon buffet in the church hall next door. We invited all of the people that we thought we should and the ones we wanted and were surprised to get 45 people. We don't have a large family and most of them live 150 miles away and we got married in our local church. OH persuaded me to get a proper dress and we compromised on a pale pink three quarter length affair with full length sleeves very 1990's but I did feel like a princess in it and took it off with a pang of regret at the end of the day. You will enjoy your day but will probably also heave a sigh of relief when it is over. The best bit for us was the honeymoon, 2 nights in the bridal suite of a small hotel a whole 40 minutes drive away That was also the most expensive bit because it was just for us Have a great day and congratulations . Marriage is so much more than having a big do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hils78 Posted July 9, 2008 Author Share Posted July 9, 2008 I've just phoned John Lewis & given my perdicament & they've told me to go in with the dress & see if their dress maker could make it better for me . I sincerely hope they can. Failing that there is a nice purple dress in Monsoon in the bridal section http://www.monsoon.co.uk/invt/35208786 the only thing is that it cuts my legs off (well finishes!) at the wrong point (I'm only 5ft3) so that would need to be taken up if it can be. Anyway Jessops might fit my dress for free so could be onto a winner there. Its so nice to hear that others didn't thrive on the thought of their wedding - makes me feel a whole lot better! Better try & find some decent clean underwear! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Webmuppet Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 We had a small wedding too ( 22 guests in all) in a posh hotel. I had a hired dress, having trudged round just about every wedding dress shop in Kent, in search of what I wanted ( nothing fancy, just a simple floor length gown), I found the perfect dress in a hire shop in the middle of nowhere! My boss (at the time) acted as my chauffeur in his Jag . He did point out to my Dad that I 'scrubbed up well' .........He was used to seeing me in rather unflattering uniform trousers and shirt! We had a simple buffet in the room we had got married in ( the hotel staff nipped in and changed it around while we were outside having photos done). Then we cleared off late afternoon to drive to the airport. Even my Stepmum still talks about it as one of the nicest weddings she has been to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhapsody Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Can I say I LOVE that purple dress......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helly Welly Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I got my Wedding dress for £40 from BHS. I don't really do dresses and this was perfect, not too formal, just pretty. Unfortunately, my parents, sister and one of my brothers didn't make it to the wedding through illness, my MIL and FIL fell out with FIL's mother so weren't speaking at the do and i just couldn't shake off my inhibitions and consequently didn't dance all night. I hated being the centre of attention. One day i hope to renew my wedding vows and do it the way i want so that i look back on that day more fondly. Don't worry about having jitters, it would be more worrying if you didn't. I'm sure the day will be fine, just remember, it's your day, so it's invited guests that should compromise, not you. We gave everyone the wedding they expected instead of doing it our way, now i wish i had a time machine so i could go back and change it. Ultimately though, i'm happily married, that one day isn't the be all and end all. It's the lifetime together that counts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyBoo Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Glad you're feeling a bit better, I've been married twice (as you do ) and the first time, although we wanted something low key, ended up with a white wedding with 200 guests! At one stage I actually threw my mother out of my house as she was "inviting" relatives from the other side of the world that I'd never even heard of. It was AWFUL. The day itself was good and more than made up for by seeing all our friends and everyone being so nice to me - they have to be, it's the rules! Second time I waslked down the same aisle of the same church, divorced, 6 months pregnant wearing red and gold! Hubby had rung me at work 3 weeks before to ask what shift I was working on the 4th of November, when I said an early he said "get the day off, we're getting married"! Try getting a wedding dress when you're 6 months pregnant, it was awful, in the end a friend made me a gold dress with a long sleeved red velvet full length coat. But however you do it, it's about you and your OH, you WILL have a good day because whatever else is going on or has gone before, you will be marrying the one you love and when you look into each others eyes nothing and no one else will exist. Hope your day is sublime ad the time leading up to it is stress free and enjoyable, let the waves of stress wash over you and disappear. Mrs B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Can I say I LOVE that purple dress......... I agree, its gorgeous. simple yet stunning! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Ditto...it is fab. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hils78 Posted July 9, 2008 Author Share Posted July 9, 2008 Dress update...I went back & the 'seamstress' saw me. She said that she was surprised the dress got through Quality Control & it was beyond help. But overnight 2 more size 10's appeared. so I tried them on. One was too big & the other I couldn't get over my hips. No wonder women are confused about size! I got my money back & went & spent £22.50 on a dress, job done (even though its cream/white!). I didn't have enough cash on me to buy the Monsoon one - but hey ho - onwards & upwards! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janty Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 As others have said, it's your day. Arrange it how you want to and have fun. I did the big white wedding first time round, pleasing parents, etc. When I got married the second time we wanted a smaller 'do' but we still wanted a flashy wedding in our style. We were paying for it between us so we did it our way with a vengeance. I designed a big red silk dress, found a dress maker and had it made. We had a five tier red wedding cake. I had shiny red stilettoes for the day and red trainers for the evening. We hired the old hall at a local, small scale brewery for the ceremony and the day and evening. They served jugs of their ales with the meals and the evening buffet. The disco was basically an 80's theme - lots of Erasure, Soft Cell etc. We had a total non-smoking event with no children except my son. I know that it's not to everyone's taste but it suited us and that was the most important thing. You must do what you want to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tessa the Duchess Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I don't like dresses normally, but that Monsoon dress is fab First time I got married it was one of 'those' white weddings, 4 bridesmaids, the works, all to please my parents, who paid The marriage lasted all of 11 months, sorry mum and dad I got married to DH 17 years later, we didn't want to get married but we could not adopt unless we were wed. We had a civil ceremony, didn't tell anybody except a couple of friends who were witnesses. We both left work at lunchtime and got married in our work clothes, no music, no flowers nothing! Then we went back to work In the evening we went out and had a meal and got drunk Romantic or what Tessa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gazpachodragon Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 i'm another who had a small wedding - 36 guests (in a cave!), and really informal (cornish pasties and mulled wine instead of a sit down meal). my mum insisted i had a 'proper' dress, so i insisted it was purple. i sort of got bored of people mentioning the wedding, and ended up the week before in tears begging to cancel. but it was just that everything was so overwhelming. you don't realise how much there is to sort out, do you? even on the morning of the wedding, i can clearly be heard on the wedding video saying 'i can't be bothered, can we postpone'!!!! you'll be fine, just breathe and concentrate on the marriage, rather than the wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Good luck with it, I'm sure it'll be a fantastic day whatever happens. (I love that Monsoon dress too!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
