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[Guest]

It was James' girlfriends birthday party today, she was 7. One of their other friends is 6 coming up to 7 and was sat there clutching her......mobile phone!

 

She got all upset when the boys were squirting water around "oh no my phone got wet" and then got a call to say her parent was outside waiting for her!!!!

 

I get enough earache from James when we go to a friends house and they have a telly in their room - fortunately he knows a phone is pretty useless as he can't read.

 

Why can't people let their kids be kids - this one wasn't playing on the climbing frame, houses or anything she was mostly sat clutcing her phone.

[Couperwife]

a phone - at 7?????

 

thats wrong!!

 

my nephew has been making noises about wanting one (he is 10 - nearly 11) and I think that is a little too young

 

children at that age have no value of money and she will probably spend a fortune on it.

 

cathy

x

[laurmurf]

that is absolutely ridiculous. What happened to a simpler childhood???

 

My lot pestered in primary school but i wouldn't even consider it! I did conceed phones once they started in secondary school, but obviously not at school and not to be used until the weekend. With these provisos once they got them they weren't really that bothered (particularly as they have to top up the phones themselves with their pocket money!)

[ScottishMike]

my oldest is 8, and some of her school friends have mobile phones

 

Forget that!! No way is she getting one until she's at secondary, and then she will NOT be allowed to take it into school - that's where all the bullying comes from over who's got an old phone, blah! As if there wasn't already enough peer pressure, now they want the latest technology in phones just to be equal with their mates - until THEY get a newer phone...

 

Gah!

[susanbb]

Blimey. That's quite unbelievable and so sad. Tell me, was it the most up to date model too

[Guest]

I didn't get a close look at it but it did look like a nice one.

 

I know the mother doesn't earn a lot and in fact has just taken a lower paid job to spend more time with her girls. I'm not sure how much her Dad is on the scene, if at all.

 

I can't think who she would call? James NEVER calls anyone - occasionally he asks me to call Gran when we are out but thats very occasionally.

[Cate in NZ]

Apologies all, but you know I'm not sure that I like the tone of this thread . We don't know the circumstances or choices that lie behind the youngster having a phone, and whilst I agree that 7 sounds younger than I would have personally wanted either of my children to own their phones, maybe this child's mother feels differently about it. The thread does sound a little judgemental in my opinion, sorry.

 

I have worked in an area of London which isn't, errrm, the most affluent shall we say and I know of people who can't afford the expense of setting up phone lines into their homes, especially if they don't intend to stay for long in the area, and who opt for each family member to have a mobile with clearly pre-arranged tarrifs so they know exactly how much their bill will come to and no set up costs. And I definitely know of one Mum who worked locally but had to allow her youngster to walk home from school alone and let herself into the house, then use her mobile phone to text Mum at work to say she was home safe.

Right or wrong , we could debate for ages, but Mum was a single parent trying to do her best and earn money to support her family, and she felt that a phone was cheaper than a childminder. The child was about 9 and Mum worked in a shop very close to home. Difficult, I'm not sure I agree but I understand with the decision making process and thank goodness I have always been able to afford good childcare for my children and not relied on a phone as a substitute.

 

So, it's not always about status symbols and people showing off by giving their children things that they don't want or need., there may be another side to the story

[Guest]

I appreciate there could be another side to the story and I wasn't trying to be judgemental.

 

It makes it very hard on the rest of us who have to deal with the "I wants" from our own kids. Maybe there are times when this 6 nearly 7 year old needs a phone but at a party in someone elses home is NOT one of them. I think its wrong to give them things like phones and televisions this young when they should be being kids not mini-adults.

 

Last year there was another child in the class who had a phone but it was different circumstances and she was NOT carrying it around in a little handbaggy thing, waving it around to her friends etc. She was being picked up from school daily in a taxi and it was part of her not feeling alone - she collected the phone from the school office as she left.

 

My real bugbear about this is the circumstances today - this was a party in someones home and this little girl was not playing with the other kids because she was all grown up with her little status symbol and I personally think that kinda thing is very sad.

 

Working with teenagers I think they grow up too quickly and I always have a little smile when I see them actually being kids. My favourite part of the afternoon was seeing half the kids, boys and girls running around topless because they had gotten wet in a water fight - the lack of inhibition is part of what childhood is about to me.

 

Mobile phones, tv's in the bedroom and even games consoles should be in their future - their present should be about water fights, playing in the garden (Remember when we were young - we could play OUT!) and imaginative games with your mates.

[deejmum]

I agree that they don't seem to have a childhood,childish things dont seem to be 'cool'.

At my sons 7th birthday party last weekend, he wanted to hide a tigger card he had received because he thought his friends would laugh at him

 

He also had to make sure that there were no cuddly toys around that could be associated with him.

 

Where has my baby gone?

[Guest]

Oh your baby is still in there - funny how "cool" suddenly kicks in isn't it!

 

My cousins daughter tells her Dad now he can't hold her hand when they are out in case her mates see - when its just family she still likes to sit on his lap and cuddle!

[jlo]

I am still cherishing the fact that my almost 14 year old son still gives me loads of cuddles - even when his mates are around. DD has just started at the same school and, when they go off in the morning, James keeps turning round calling, "love you mom" whilst Beth gives one perfunctory kiss and marches off without a backwards glance - far too grown up!

 

On the mobile phone front, I can't help but agree that it was totally wrong for that young lass to miss out on the fun of the party. Let's face it, we're grown up for too long anyway. (Well, most of us. I am still waiting to grow up )

[Olly]

I didn't think this was being judgmental - I can see there are circumstances where children might need - or feel comforted/safer by having - a mobile phone, but I do agree that to take it to a party is a bit unnecessary.

 

I would be worried about the possible health consequences of using a mobile phone at that age. I know there are no studies that actually confirm a link to health problems, but they DO give off radiation and I would not want to see a child clutching one all day.

[The Dogmother]

Rosie is 10.5 now and fast becoming a young lady but she's still my baby - walking to school holding my hand and happy to sit on my lap for a hug (I get flattened though as she's nearly as big as me!).

 

I have never been happy about her having a phone, and she hasn't wanted one, despite one of her friends having both a phone and a laptop. A few months back, I was helping my boss clear out some rubbish at work and he gave me his old mobile for Rosie. I had a payasyougo SIM put in it and it lives in the cupboard and hardly gets used.

 

I can understand what Kate was saying about the single Mum she knew about - on the odd occasion, Rosie has had to walk from school to my office; a pretty safe journey as they go, but on those days she had that phone in her bag and was told to turn it on as she left school - both of us felt much happier having it there.

[Egluntyne]

I am inclined to agree with both sides of the argument. A phone can be a useful safety device, and there is no reason why she shouldn't have brought it to the party.

 

Maybe she is one of these children who panics and needs to be able to contact Mum in a jiffy, but it is a pity she couldn't ask for it to be put in a safe place so that she could enjoy the fun.

[Mrs Frugal]

Maybe it was new and she was just enjoying having it with her ? I know my boys used to carry new things around with them wherever they went......until the novelty wore off . It's a shame she didn't get to join in with the fun at the party though.

 

Both my boys had mobile phones when they moved up to secondary school and they are more for my peace of mind than theirs because I know they can call me if they need me - particularly as Ollie is at a school in the next town and has missed the bus home on occasions. Mobiles make Mum's apron strings reach a bit further when the children have to stretch their wings a bit .

[Phonix]

I didn't get a mobile until I was secondary school and even then it was much debated.

 

I wanted one but the answer was always no UNTIL... one night I stayed after school for netball but we never knew what time it would finish so as we didn't live in walking distance I had to call mum from the phone box outside the school to come get me.

This night it was quite dark and there was a big group of year 11 lads in the phone box who wouldn't let me in so I had to walk to the next one (about 10 mins away) and had to walk through a square known for not being the nicest place in town.

 

Anyway moral of the story - I got a mobile to use on such occasions!

 

Also I think it made my mum feel better that if I was out with friends she could call and make sure I was ok and I could call her if the bus to our house didn't turn up (its alot less frequent than the ones to my friends houses and alot more unreliable) and she would come get me!

 

Maybe 7 is a bit young but then again maybe there were reasons for it however I do agree that it seems to have ruined the childish fun of the party for her but then again maybe she's one of those kids who does just enjoy watching what's going on or is really shy.

 

xXx

[The Dogmother]

Both my boys had mobile phones when they moved up to secondary school and they are more for my peace of mind than theirs because I know they can call me if they need me - particularly as Ollie is at a school in the next town and has missed the bus home on occasions. Mobiles make Mum's apron strings reach a bit further when the children have to stretch their wings a bit .

 

I have to agree Kate; Rosie will probably be going to a secondary school out of the town, so will need to get a bus with friends - I shall be glad that she has a phone then. She knows that it's not to be used for chatting to friends, just to contact me. I have programmed my numbers, her dad's and Phil's into it for her.

 

I used to walk 2 miles each way to secondary school, but in those dark ages (and it often was dark in the winter when I left school) we didn't have mobile phones, so I always had a 10p piece in my pocket to call home if necessary.

 

It is a shame that the little girl didn't feel able to join in, but perhaps it was her first party and she was nervous.

[chickencam]

My older 2 got mobiles when they started secondary school, they are both at school a good few miles away and go by bus so we felt that they should be able to contact us themselves in an emergency. They didn't get new ones though, they got old ones that my husband had finished with, they only got new ones as christmas presents last year ans even then only pretty basic ones.

 

YD desperately wants one, she is nearly ten and we may let her have one if she starts walking to and from school on her own, which neither of the other two really did because i always had to be there for theit little sister, but again it will be an old one and only for that purpose.

[Tina C]

L has never been interested in mobiles but last year (Yr 2 age 6-7) one girl turned up at school with 'her' mobile and there must have been some talk about it at school that day because L came home and said when will I have a mobile? Our answer was when you are old enough to go out and about on your own - probably when you leave juniors. We explained further - as you are always with us or someone else's parents why would you need one? She understood the logic. End of discussion. When L is independent she will get a phone for emergency use.

 

Even when she starts walking to school on her own (its not far) she will not get a phone - she will be sent out armed with common sense, awareness of stranger danger and the ability to ask for help should she need it. I have to have faith that other adults taking their children to school would feel they could step in if needed.

 

That girl was at a supervised party and was picked up by someone. She did not need a phone at the party even if there are reasons for her having one on certain occasions. I'm with others - 7 year olds do not generally need a mobile and it does put pressure on other parents. And, sadly, it is often those that can least afford to that feel the pressure to make sure their child has the latest 'must-have'.

Edited September 22, 2008 by Guest

[The Dogmother]

Even when she starts walking to school on her own (its not far) she will not get a phone - she will be sent out armed with common sense, awareness of stranger danger and the ability to ask for help should she need it. I have to have faith that other adults taking their children to school would feel they could step in if needed

 

There really is no substitute for teaching them common sense is there? Rosie has been taught about stranger danger from an early age, and who to ask for help too.

[Guest]

I too have a spare phone for those occasions when one is useful. My eldest two weren't allowed a phone until they were 14 (end of year 9). They didn't need one. But things have moved on now and I relaxed and allowed my 13 yo to have one at the end of year 8. Also she is out at dancing and music groups every day of the week, so a phone is useful. The salesmen in the shop can't believe my daughters haven't had a phone before.

 

My youngest (10) doesn't need one. He walks to school and back on his own. I am not expecting him to have one in year 7 either.

 

My children also have to buy their own phones and fund them themselves. Others might think I'm hard, but I don't think it's wise for younger people to have access to private phone calls and texts. I also think they should value technology and not take it for granted.

[Tina C]

I am hard too Ginette But we all have to do what we feel comfortable with at the end of the day.

 

One of my concerns about young children having mobiles is also that it can make them a target for bullies. Also my girl can't even remember to bring her cardigan home so she could never be responsible for a phone or other gadget.

[missuscluck]

Each to their own I guess.

All kids are different. My son got one for his birthday before he started at highschool as he gets the bus to and from school. A cheep and cheerful one as I was sure he would loose it. I then found out he wasnt allowed it in school anyway so it was left at home. He has no interest in it what so ever and has now had it for nearly 2 years and I think he has had about £30.00 woreth of credit in all that time. I remind him to put it in his pocket if he goes out without me so I can reel him in if required.

[baby bears mum]

Baby bear got her mobile in the summer holidays because she was going to High School this September and it involves a long trip on the bus. A lot of her friends (in fact probably all of them) had their phones a lot earlier. I do think 7 is young to be having a phone and it is certainly something I wouldn't do but each to their own as they say.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

My boys got (a cheap) mobile when they were 12 and moved to another school 4 miles away and got the bus to school. It was handy for after school sports as picking up times often changed.

 

Luckily, neither boy uses it as a social tool and I only have to top up by £10 every few months .