Storms and chickens

[Louise]

I have had a rotten day

 

I had an email from an old college pal this morning to say he was off work because of a spinal tumour and is now back at home after hospitalisation and Chemotherapy

 

Then I spoke to another friend who now has to have major surgery on one of her feet

 

The weird thing is last year I was down South for a few days and stayed with my friend who now needs the op and the only person I wanted to go and see to catch up with is the one who now has the tumour

 

I have tried to call my friend Jeremy but his phone is going to voice mail I can understand he doesn't want to talk to anyone but I am worried about him I have left a message and hopefully he will give me a call when he is feeling up to it

[Mrs Frugal]

That's horrible news for you Louise. Life deals out some really nasty blows sometimes, doesn't it. I'm sure when he feels strong enough to talk, he will return your call. Talking helps and just knowing you're worried about him will be comforting, I'm sure.

 

My Mum's friend has just lost her daughter in law to cancer. I was so touched by the bravery of her two little daughters. The funeral was yesterday and the 6 year old sang a hymn and her sister read the poem Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep. The little one says that her mummy has gone to be a star and she's having dinner with granny and grandpa. It's salmon because that's mummy's favourite.

[The Dogmother]

Oh Golly! Life can be a bag of poo sometimes, can't it? I hope you get some better news soon, in the meantime have a hug.

 

Kate - I couldn't have gone to that funeral, I'd have wept buckets (I expect that you did too). How awful for those little ones. Hugs for you too - want a tissue?

[Lesley-Jean]

It's the hardest thing in the world, to be strong for someone else

 

It feels easier to suffer things oneself rather than watch a near, dear one go through it. But you will be able to give great comfort to your friends when they get to a point where thay can accept it.

 

Lesley J xx

[Louise]

Thanks guys I am sure if he is home he must be on the mend I think I just feel bad that he was ill diagnosed andd treated before I found out some friend I am

 

Hopefully if he checks his messages either he or perhaps his wife will give me a call

[Lesley-Jean]

You've made the offer Louise, all you can do is wait

[Richard T]

Louise, don't feel bad. Most blokes keep very quiet about illness and don't tell people until it's over. (Unless it's man flu of course, when the whole world needs to know that we're really suffering, but being brave.)

 

 

Richard T

[Eyren]

True - a life-threatening illness is as much an emotional as a physical strain, and we all know how much men like talking about their feelings

 

He'll probably want to wait until his upper lip is feeling stiff enough, but at least now he knows you're there for him in spirit

[buffie]

That's rotten Louise. When someone is ill they sometimes need to think and decide what they feel before they let the most loved frineds or family into their space. My parents friend has cancer and he did this and then welcomed them with open arms. All you can do is let them know you are there and also perhaps let them know you understand they want some space but that you are here and you won't be going away.

 

Hope all goes well,

 

BBx

[Karen & co.]

Sending you a hug Louise, you can share it with your friend when he's ready to accept,

 

knowing you are there will be a big help.

 

karen x

[bunee1]

My Mum's friend has just lost her daughter in law to cancer. I was so touched by the bravery of her two little daughters. The funeral was yesterday and the 6 year old sang a hymn and her sister read the poem

 

Sadly this is all to familliar i too have been to my friend Geri's funeral only today she was 36 with 3 young children and died of breast cancer...i have to say her children were amazing her eldest daughter read some beautiful words. Geri was an inspiration to many people and will be sadly missed.

 

Is it me or are these occasions becoming more frequent, it seems everyone i know knows one or several people who have been vicims of cancer it's all very sad.

[Mrs Frugal]

It's awful, isn't it. I'm so sorry about your friend .

[bunee1]

Thanks Kate....it was a tough day.

 

I hope your friend comes round soon Louise , tomorrows a new day lets hope it's a better one hey!

[Lesley]

tomorrows a new day lets hope it's a better one hey!

So true Hannah - hope tomorrow is a better day Louise.

[AnnieP]

Just to add my best wishes Louise. My father In Law had Leukemia for two years and died in January. He never mentioned it to us when we visited, regardless of whether we were visiting in hospital during his chemo, at home for his last Christmas, or even hours before he died. We were in emotional bits, but he never was (or not in front of us anyway).

I am sure your friend will take comfort from the fact that he knows you know and are thinking of him. Be brave for him.

XXXXX

[Cinnamon]

My best wishes too Louise.

It is sad,but this horrible disease touches so many of us

 

I lost my sister-in-Law & best pal a few years ago to cancer,she was 38.

And this week I have found out that my close friend & neighbour has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.There is nothing they can do for him.

 

So sad,but life is like that sometimes.

I think it makes you appreciate the good times even more

[Louise]

Thanks guys

 

I decided last night that I will drop him an email saying I understand if he doesn't want to talk but let him know I am thinking of him so he knows where I am when he does want to talk

 

I think I am suffering because I don't know at what stage he is at they have done some chemo and now he is home so either it is starting to be remission or there is nothing else they can do but I just don't know

 

He is only 45 as well spent his life looking for someone to share it with and finally got married 4 or 5 years ago

[The Dogmother]

Is it me or are these occasions becoming more frequent, it seems everyone i know knows one or several people who have been vicims of cancer it's all very sad.

 

It does seem so doesn't it Hannah? That is why I run The Race for Life every year - partly to raise money for Cancer Research, which doesn't receive government funding. But also to raise the profile for cancer sufferers.

 

One of my best and loveliest friends died four years ago from breast cancer; she was the same age as me and ended up with the cancer spreading to her brain. I did the first race four years ago, she married the next day and died one month later, never able to have the family she would have wanted.

 

My grandmother also died of cancer after a long and horrid illness.

 

Both of them would've run/walked the race if they could, so I do it for them each year, and Rosie has joined me for the last 2 years.

 

Louise - I know how much you love your friend and want to help - he will probably have read your message of support and will turn to you when he can, or is ready. I know that it is worrying for you not knowing what is going on his end, but your thoughts will be helping him even from a distance.

[clare*]

I posted I think back in February or March about my mum being diagnosed with breast cancer.

 

It has been the longest few months. I must say though that hospital and her GP have been fab. Her operation was really quick from diagnosis and has recently finished the never ending daily trips to the hospital for radiotherapy.

 

She has been told she will have to have checks every 3 months at the hospital.

 

When I was taking her everyday to the hospital for treatment it amazed me at the age range this horrid disease attacks. Many young people were there.

[The Dogmother]

How is your mum now Clare*? I hope that she is feeling better now the radiotherapy has finished.

[Mrs Frugal]

There are too many young people dying. My brother in law died in 1997 aged 35 of a brain tumour leaving 2 little children, both which never really knew him as his daughter was a few months old when he died and his son only 3 years old. He died very quickly after his diagnosis which gave the family very little time to prepare for it.

[The Dogmother]

That's very sad Kate I especially hate it when young families are involved.

[Louise]

The tumour is at the base of the spine and he has it through the lymphatic system as well he still has another 7 sessions of chemo to go through so it is pretty bad news but I am not going to dwell just be there if he needs a friend

[Cinnamon]

Its times like this that people really know who their true friends are

 

If you can just be there if he needs you,& are wise enough to keep your distance if that is what he wants (which I am sure you are) then that is true friendship.

 

Tough for you though,so best wishes from me

[One Man Banned]

one of my friends daughter got leukemia and died 4 years ago, she was only 5.

 

She got it twice in all and the first time after all the treatment they thought they had it sussed, but it came back when she was 4.

 

Her mum claire did a sponsored cycle ride round Africa to raise funds for the charities that helped her on both occasions. At work we all did fundraising days in memory of Georgie.

 

Cancer and the like are horrible diseases and hurt all of us at some point, but it never hit me that hard before not even when my uncle died and it was horrible at the end, but to see Georgie going through everything - and she knew what was happening and that she wasn't going to live was absolutely gut wrenching. She was such a pretty little "girlie girl".

 

It really is at times like that when I really doubted there is ever a god to allow that to happen to such a young girl, but that discussion is not for here right now.

 

A