Warm boot recommendations please

[MedusA]

How sad for your friends.

 

Just carry on being supportive. It's all you can do really.

[stoice]

Well she's home now. I called her last night - after texting if it was ok - and she seemed chirpy enough. She's bruised in several places though, not quite sure what they did to her but she said she has bruises under her arms (?) and the entire inside of her thighs! I guess it's from them manipulating her during her proceddure. I'm popping round tonight with some cupcakes. (She's obsessed with everything cupcake - must show her the bunting cupcake thread!!) plus she has her appetite back too. Thought against flowers, not really her thing anyway. She's said she's concentrating on getting physically better first so I guess things will get bumpier soon but at least I'll be there along with our other mates. She was told the chances of a woman having miscarriage are 1 in 3 which is quite a shock.

 

Keep asking how her husband is but all he says is he's worried about her I guess the two of them will be having lots of heart-to-hearts anyway so I hope he doesn't bottle stuff up. I know how men can be!

 

Thankyou so much for all your kind words and advice. It's really helped me to know what to say and do (And what not to). Not having any kids of my own or know anyone who's gone through this either I found it a little hard but you guys have helped so much.

 

Her 30th is next weekend (When she was going to announce to everyone about the baby) so I'm not sure if her plans will be changing so she wouldn't have to be thinking on it too much. Either way we'll all be there for her (Plus I got her some lovely charms from Bombay Duck for a bracelet I think she'd appreciate - cupcakes, pink shoes and handbag charms!)

 

Thanks again

 

Stacey

[Plum]

Very sad. You sound just the right kind of friend. Guess everyone deals with their distress differently and am sure they appreciate you being there.

[Cinnamon]

The bruises on her arms are probably from needle sticks, drips & so forth.

 

Poor girl, you sound like a super friend to have at a difficult time

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

Your cupcakes sound like a lovely cheering idea. Your warmth and support sound brilliant.

[kitchens]

Hi there. Personally I wouldn't send a card or flowers, but just let her know that you are there if she wants to talk. Just you being on the end of the phone or there for a cuppa will be fine for her. Don't tell her it was fate or that these things happen for a reason because she will know this. I've had 3 miscarriages and have always felt desparately sad but don't like talking about it and going over the if's and why's.

[chickencam]

The cup cakes sound like a great idea, they show that you care and can be eaten with a nice cup of tea and a chat.

 

This thread shows you how common miscarriage is, it is not often talked about but there are a lot of women out there with a secret sadness.

[fluffyknickers]

I also miscarried before my son and was devastated.

 

I had loads of unamswered questions that there are no answers to like "why".

 

At first I didnt want to talk about it and just get on with things and wanted to get back to work asap after the D&C and just be 'normal'. When I was ready i contacted a charity that helped a lot with just listening and sent me some information.

 

My friends were wonderful and sent cards and texts asking if they could call round or telephone. I found it really helpful to talk to a friend who had also suffered the same. The sadly when my friends have also miscarried I have been there for them.

 

You sound like such a wonderful friend and doing the right thing.

 

x

[BeckyBoo]

Glad that she's finding a way to cope at the minute, at least if she concentrates on getting physically better she can then concentrate on getting mentally better later on. I'd heard that it's one in three pregnancies that ends in miscarriage, a lot of the time it can be before the woman even knows she's pregnant. Such a sad sad thing to happen. Well done you for being there, it can be hard to be with someone at such a difficult time but it's absolutely the right thing to do and she's lucky to have such a thoughtful friend.

 

BeckyBoo

[Looney]

I'd heard the statistics were 1 in 4....although I expect this is always changing. The doctor told me that the apparent 'rise' in likelihood was down to the improvement in pregnancy testing. People can get confirmation they are pregnant far earlier than was previously possible so those that miscarry early on know they have miscarried rather than thinking they were having a late period.

[kitchens]

You are right there Loony. My Gynie had a long chat with me after my third m/c and he said exactly that. He also said that in the old days before testing people just thought they were late and had a heavy period. Modern inventions like the pregnancy test can also make it all the more stressful, what you don't know can't hurt you. We've now gone down the private route and will now have injections and progesterone pesseries once we conceive to help the pregnancy establish itself. It doesn't guarantee it but it, will hopefully most certainly help.

[Tiggy]

I stopped doing pregnancy tests for that reason, I knew when I was pregnant got a positive test & would MC within days, it was always the same, gynae could never find out why. my first mc was at 35 weeks so a bit of a pain really but the next 14 or so were very early so no treatment needed, in the end not getting the test done just ment that my period was a bit heavy & late, and easier to deal with. Now that I'm older and too old too get pregnant things are much better.

 

good luck with the treatment kitchens

[kitchens]

Thanks Tiggy. You brave lady, you have been through much more than me.