4m x 3m Omlet pen, cube, new auto door still boxed and coop light

[Jillus]

What do you do when a friend keeps forwarding emails which are distasteful and I think racist ( He thinks they are funny I presume)?

 

I got one today which I will not include because I think it could cause gross offence if read on an open forum. I did write a quick reply to the friend but have not sent it as often initial reactions to things can be misconstrued. I want to remain in touch with Richard but do not want to get this offensive rubbish. He seems to be a person who has what we term CFS (Compulsive Forwarding Syndrome) and seems to exercise no discretion about what he sends on.

[Cinnamon]

I have had this problem too in the past.

I sent him an email saying that as I was on dial-up I couldn't download his emails as they took too long, & could he please take me off his list.He did.

 

Of course that was true, I was on dial-up, but his particular emails were not welcome anyhow, unlike the ones I now get from people who know me & get my sense of humor

 

I find racisim vile,so personally would probably tell him so, but you could use the dial-up/bandwidth excuse if you want to tread more softly.

[Seagazer]

Its really awkward isn't it. My OH's cousin keeps sending racist and racy ones (if you know what I mean) to me and I just don't like them. Not only that but some of them open straight up into photos and I really worry that my little one will see them.

 

It was great for a while because we both had computer problems (probably from their blooming emails) so I didn't get any.

 

What I've done though is I don't send any funny emails to them, I'm talking normal funny ones, I think they have got the message.

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

I don't agree with the 'excuse' thing to avoid getting emails. If it was a matter of personal taste vs personal taste then fair dos, but racism and homophobia and sexism are different.

 

When someone sends you emails with that kind of content, a part of them is seeking validation for their beliefs. Given the damage that such beliefs do to individuals and wider society, I think it's dangerous to not acknowledge that you don't agree with the content.

 

There's no need to get on a soapbox about it. You can do it gently, but I think it's important that you explain WHY you find the emails offensive. Something along the lines of why the language in them is offensive (if for example it's an N-word 'joke') or why the tone of them upsets you - because people have to experience those things maybe in real life and they are deeply hurtful; because you have black/Asian/Irish/Eskimo etc friends and such jokes would offend both you and them.

 

If you can persuade your friend that your concern is based on you being compassionate rather than political, you may even help him change his mind in the fullness of time.

 

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing, and all that.

[Guest]

I have to say I don't read ANY joke emails that are forwarded to me by friends with CFS - very occasionaly I get one from someone who doesn't normally send me one and then I read it as I guess they did genuinely think I would find it funny - and they are usually right!

 

I have a friend on Facebook who keeps putting rather smutty jokes as his status - these are also quite sexist and demeaning to women. I know him from WAAAAY back and I know he is not very bright so I forgive him for not realising some of us will find this offensive. I also hit the button that stops his status being shown on my feed so no problem anymore! Disturbingly he has his OWN children as friends - including his teenage daughter.

[Egluntyne]

Tell the sender that you aren't comfortable with the content, and would prefer not to receive them in future.

 

If the person is a true friend they will respect your request.

 

We had a problem with an acquaintance who made a nuisance of himself in this way.

 

He had our 'family' email account and I didn't want the children happening upon this sort of thing when they were younger.. I don't now, come to think of it.

[Cinnamon]

I don't agree with the 'excuse' thing to avoid getting emails.

 

As it says in my post, it wasn't an excuse, we were on dial-up & the emails took forever (hours sometimes) to download

Even if they had been great joke emails, we would have had to get them stopped as they slowed the computer down so much.

 

I simply gave the option in case Jillus does not want a confrontation.

[Jillus]

Hi, Thanks for all the words of advice.

 

I have written to my friend and told him that the content of some of his 'jokes' was something I was not comfortable with bearing in mind the nature of my work with victims of crimes and I asked that he might not include me on the list of his friends receiving emails of that nature.

 

I guess if he takes offence at that then so be it. If some of his 'jokes' were seen on a work computer I think I might be in trouble.

 

Not heard back yet but hopefully nothing more will be said.

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

Well done! Here's hoping for a clean and fluffy inbox!

 

(Now, if only I could stop getting email offers for dodgy medications... )

[Guest]

Well done! Here's hoping for a clean and fluffy inbox!

 

(Now, if only I could stop getting email offers for dodgy medications... )

 

 

I say that to the kids at school sometimes - there must be a good market for these medications and "enhancements" for body parts I don't have - otherwise we would't keep getting all of these emails.

[Egluntyne]

If some of his 'jokes' were seen on a work computer I think I might be in trouble.

 

 

If I were him I'd ponder on the fact that if his 'jokes' were seen on his computer, then he might be in trouble. Most employers have policies about this sort of thing.

 

We certainly do.

 

Well done for letting him know that you weren't comfortable. It might give him pause for thought.

[mostin]

Well done indeed .

 

I work in the NHS and my boss was sent a "dodgy" email from someone at another hospital. The next day he got a virus and IT came in to look at his PC. They found that email and he was fired on the spot, we've not seen him since . He's going through an appeal process but his career is ruined.

[Plum]

Seems a bit unfair if he received it not sent it.

[mostin]

Seems a bit unfair if he received it not sent it.

 

It's all very political, they have been trying to "re-structure" the upper levels of management for a while, and he was a problem for them. Plus he was always on the staff side, rather than management, they were gunning for him and in the end it took just one email to end a career . We will all testify on his behalf at the appeal, but he is a broken man now, imagine being tarred with that brush when you a good family man .

[Plum]

So vulnerable. Sounds like he had some good colleagues. Thought there must be more to it.

[Looney]

I know of someone that was disciplined and demoted due to receiving inappropriate emails.

 

They hadn't followed correct procedure and reported the email when they received it (i.e. tell tales on the sender) so were deemed to be guilty. They had deleted though. The person that sent the email wasn't disciplined at all

[mostin]

I know of someone that was disciplined and demoted due to receiving inappropriate emails.

 

They hadn't followed correct procedure and reported the email when they received it (i.e. tell tales on the sender) so were deemed to be guilty. They had deleted though. The person that sent the email wasn't disciplined at all

 

That sounds familiar. Nothing has happened to the person who sent my boss the email, even though they were of the same rank and job in another NHS hospital. How can that work?

[Saronne]

I had a problem of being sent inappropriate emails and politely told the 'friend' to please not bother sending them anymore. They ignored my request, so I 'blocked' the sender and the jokes now go directly into my SPAM box. It's pretty irritating, nonetheless. Anyone who continues against my wishes is being pretty insensitive.

 

Saronne x

[Avalon Fantasy]

You know it sends me potty always recieving reams of jokes.. and some files that people havent heard about zipping for heavens sake...

I used to be on dial up and one friend used to send 60 megabyte and more Images through that were jokes.. Took s* ages to dl..so I wrote to everyone and said..please do me a big favour and never send a joke or multitude of jokes to my email anymore from now on thanks.

One of my american friends used to send around 20 a day..seriously I wonder how he had the time until I realised that he had listed me to some joke churning out forum crud..

Blah...