All 3 chickens stopped laying today

[Shirl]

Thanks for the suggestions re driving but Tom's nursing home is 30 miles away and I go 2 or 3 times a week. The girls' school is private so it's down to us to get them there. My friend suggested relaxation techniques so I think I'll have to look into that. I've had hypnotherapy for childbirth so I wonder if that might help.

[chickenNutter]

Shirl,

 

Having got my chickens over 12 months ago, and visiting this forum regularly, I can't believe I have only just caught up with this thread. What a compete nightmare you have been living for the last 15 + months. Having read most of your posts, however, I am overwhelmed by what an amazing sister you have been to your brother. You are in an impossible situation, and are responding to it in the best way you can. Your car accident is a sign that you are understandably stressed and a sign that you need to take car of yourself. It will be hard for you to consider taking a step back in these circumstances, but perhaps, if you are going to continue to be a strength to your brother, you may need to. Perhaps other family members could take lead while you take a break? Whatever the outcome of this situation you have done all that could be expected of a loving sister and probably more.

 

I am in awe of you and your dedication.

 

Keep fighting for your brother, but don't beat yoursef up for not being superhuman.

 

Love and chickeny hugs

 

Kate

[Valkyrie]

You need a time-out because you can't keep going on like that. You are burning the candle at both ends and in the middle! Waggles finger followed by a big hug. Still I'm amazed how the time has passed by so quickly. I've kept my fingers crossed for Tom and they are still - bit cramped now!!! It sounds so much more promising. Never give up hope, just try and rest a bit more.

[Egluntyne]

Am pleased to hear that there is promising news of your brother.

 

Sorry to hear about your accident. Look after yourself. Could someone bring the children home from school for you?

[Shirl]

Thanks everyone. Unfortunately no-one live near us to bring the children home and we don't have family near us.

 

I went to see Tom today and when I arrived carers were still with him. I waited outside chatting to another resident (well I chatted he smiled a lot!) when I noticed Tom's door was open I thought they must be nearly finished so went in and found the carers making the bed with Tom in his wheelchair. Another member of staff had left the room and accidentally let the door open. Unfortunately the staff hadn't bothered to put Tom's headrest on so his head was hanging back and look really uncomfortable. I asked them to put the headrest on and left them to finish. This really upset me because I can't help but wonder if this is the treatment Tom gets when we aren't around.

 

I was already meeting with the clinical manager due to numerous care issues so I highlighted this point too. The care manager said she was embarrassed and will implement changes again. Not surprisingly I left there with a headache and feeling sick. You see this is why I have to keep fighting for Tom. My other sister that visits Tom doesn't like to complain because she wants to be liked by staff.Our mother just moans on but never gets to the point and sometimes gets unreasonable so is not taken seriously. There is no-one else to fight Tom's corner. Hopefully things will improve and I will have less to be concerned about.

[paddy1709]

Shirley,

I have been following this thread as well but have not posted until now. With regards to Toms care, I work as an auditor/inspector for a healthcare company. My job stands on people like you highlighting areas of deficiencies in care, and you are doing the right thing. Not only will it improve the care of Tom but other people in the same facility. In our organisation a complaint brings about more training and greater supervision, it does not mean suspension and loss of job (unless serious of course).

You are an inspiraration and your brother must be so proud of you

Clare

[Shirl]

Thanks Clare. Unfortunately I'm not the only relative that complains about the standard of care recieved. Complaints about underfed (by PEG) patients, patients left dirty etc are common complaints. All we hear is they aren't undertsaffed so there is no reason for it. To read my list of complaints for just one week is shocking even today after Tom was supposedly given a full bed wash he had BO, how can that be? I told the Clinical Manager the next step will be the CQC and the PCT. Tax payers are paying about £2,000 a week for Tom's care and he isn't being cared for!

[paddy1709]

Shirley,

It is common practice to go to the CQC - you have the right to be anonymous. This completely puts the wind up the company. If I was a relative knowing the way some of my home managers deal with complaints, I would go straight to CQC and take the anonymous route. Luckily my organisation is so large we have a completely seperate inspection division away from operations so we can afford to be harsh, the smaller companies don't have this and so CQC is the only port of call to act on your behalf.

Hope this helps

Clare

[Snoxy]

Shirley this is the first time I have seen your thread...

 

I am so very sorry to hear about your brother, Tom...I cannot begin to imagine what it has been like for you all.

 

Sending you very belated (((((hugs)))) and all my love to you.

 

I am sending every positive thought I can muster for Tom

 

Lou X

[Shirl]

The company concerned is not a small company in fact quite the opposite it is a global company with over 100 hospitals , I have already told the Clinical Manager what my next course of action is if things don't improve and I don't feel I need to be anonymous. If they decide they want Tom out then all the better. There is now a chairty run nursing home that has just started taking trachae patients so Tom could potentially go there. I have heard the care is excellent and it is no further from home. I know of one former resident that fought to get moved to the charity run home and had to actually go through the courts to get moved so to be forced to move would not be a worry.

[paddy1709]

At least its not one of ours then - good to know!

They should have a review with you every six months, together with the funding body. So you should be gunning all the time with all the issues (from reading from your posts you are doing this).

Writing to CQC would really get their back up as well and they may want Tom moved on these grounds that they don't want to deal with you in the future as the care issues would certainly arise again.

[Shirl]

Thanks for that info. If things improve then obviously we'd be happy to keep Tom there but if not and a complaint gets Tom moved then that's OK too. Any resolution to the ongoing care issues will be good for all of us.

[Happy chickens!]

Glad to hear that you have had some positive news and hope that that continues and you get the standard of care for Tom sorted.

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

Really feel for you ref the standard of care. Unbelievable.

[C&T]

Don't forget, you have to look after yourself.

 

What you are doing is amazing - but (and this is sooo much easier said than done) it sounds like you either need a break, or need some extra help.

 

Seeing a Doctor would be a good thing. Or a councellor. Talking through everything that you are going through with a stranger can be very soothing, and whilst talking to us on here must help to some degree, a trained councellor will be able to offer some real help, and help you understand all the different emotions that you must be feeling and going through.

 

Please don't be afraid to ask for help - you will be no help to anyone if you end up in hospital too.

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

Thought this may give you some hope or comfort for the future:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/8014061/Waking-the-dead-one-day-deep-coma-victims-will-be-able-to-talk-and-move-around.html

 

xx

[Shirl]

Thanks that's an interesting article. I am slightly concerned they are moving the research to Canada but hopefully that will take time and Tom's treatment won't be affected. We would buy an EEG machine tomorrow if it meant Tom could communicate. The EEg and MRI is the same testing Tom had done when he was there recently so hopefully when we hear the results in the next week or 2 we can be told how viable this could be for Tom.

 

Thanks again for thinking of us when you read this.

[Reikiranf]

Thank you for the updates Shirl, I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time and wish there was something that I could do to help, I just wanted you to know that I and probably lots of others here think about you whether you have posted on here or not and have done since we first heard about Tom's accident.

 

Amanda xxx

[Shirl]

Tom was tested by an optician today and he confimed his left eye is damaged and can't see but the right eye isn't damaged. He did say though that damage could be behind the eye and that Tom didn't respond at all to a bright light being shone in his eye so for the full picture we still have to wait for Addenbrookes.

[Happy chickens!]

Fingers crossed for good news. x

[Shirl]

Just a quick update. Tomorrow we find out the results of Tom's tests at Addenbrookes so we are nervously looking forward to it.

 

However the other reason that prompted it was today I have written to the CQC & PCT regarding Tom's care. It was prompted by our mum visiting today and finding Tom in the corridor/hall in his wheelchair. He had his left arm trapped down the side of his wheelchair and he was sobbing with tears running down his face. She called the senior member of staff to help who ignored her and walked away. She then asked another resident's relative to help her free his arm. His arm had red marks for about an hour but is OK now. When she asked the senior member of staff how it happened she just replied "You're always moaning, you're never happy." What sort of response is that? It was the senior member of staff that had put Tom in the wheelchair so no excuse that she didn't know what she was doing.

 

This follows Monday where Tom only got 1/2 the food he should have. Sometimes you have to say you tried to change things and failed.I spoke to the PCT and have said as well as putting in a complaint we would like Tom moved and have specified our preferred home. We will wait and see what happens and if anyone has any further suggestions I'd be gratefull to hear them.The CQC have said they won't investgate an individual complaint but may inspect.

 

I'll update tomorrow with the results of our meeting with Addenbrookes.

[chickenNutter]

Shirl,

 

The treatment your brother is getting is terrible and as much abuse as Janty's son is currently getting at his school. It really makes me dispair. I would start to always have a camera and small video camera with you when you visit so that you can start to record and document some of this neglect, nothing impacts more in terms of a complaint than visual evidence. Thank goodness your brother has you fighting for him. You are amazing, don't forget it!

[paddy1709]

Shirley

You must write to CQC,and individualise all the problems that you have. They are not doing scheduled inspections at present as the standards are changing. We have 160 homes and none have been routinely inspected since March of this year. If you are really serious in getting him moved, go to a solicitor and get a letter sent - this will really put the wind up them. it will cost but in the long term may be worth it. They should also have a whistle blowing policy whereby the clinical director of the company can be contacted directly - our director routinely investigates and has no problem suspending and dismissing staff where he feels the care is lacking.

Thanks for the update and I hope the tests are postive

Clare

[paddy1709]

Shirley

I tell you what gets us really scared - threaten them with the local papers. This puts all of us care home operators into meltdown - so much more than CQC!

Clare

[poachedegg]

Good luck for tomorrow. xx