Eglu Go Up with 2M run for sale Wrexham

[clootie]

MARK? Hellooooo?

[Alis girls]

Just think of the dirt you can dish if she gets a post in authority - New of the World - eat yer heart out.

My mum was a redhead - its skipped 2 generations due to OH Greek genes but I have the redheads temper - I'm blonde

[Valkyrie]

Oh yes, the temper thing. I have that.

[Alis girls]

Sorry Koojie - but mum did have temper and red hair but i dont know if redheads have bigger tempers than us blonds - its all hearsay probably

[Valkyrie]

I used to have a thick blond streak of hair at the front/side where my parting was, but it darkened when I was in my late teens. I was blonde with curly hair when I was little. My dad used to go blonde too, so that's probably inherited from him. Thankfully I don't have a Dickie Davis grey patch like my mum did (she still has black hair at the back - looks like she is wearing a grey wig on her dark hair), dad went all salt and peppery, as I seem to be doing. So maybe blonde and ginger temper?

My two used to have goldy coloured hair - matched my wedding ring exactly. 18 carrot hair then!

[Valkyrie]

How's it going HappyChickens? Any news yet?

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

Celebrate ginger:

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8245290.stm

[jlo]

Just to say that, if you do decide to press charges and the boy admits the offence, he will not go to court. He is likely to get what is called a reprimand (caution in old money.)

 

If he then offends again and again admits it, he is still not likely to go to court. He will get a Final Warning (another caution but it does involve some intervention from the Youth Offending Team.)

 

Only on a third offence is he likely to get as far as court.

 

If he does not accept his guilt at the police station then it will go to court and he will probably plead not guilty and your son may have to attend as a witness. I thought that this may be of some help in your making your mind up as to how to proceed.

 

I do have some knowledge of the youth court system so feel free to PM me if you have any queries! I am sorry to hear of the hassle that your son has had.

 

I see too many young offenders and their families who seem unable to take any responsibilty for their actions.

[Happy chickens!]

Koojie - that is appalling, I am so glad that your daughter was ok, it is terrifying what some people think is ok.

 

Jlo - yes I have gathered that from the police. I can see the point of not criminalising youngsters, but does it work?

 

We have decided to press charges as we want something a bit more formal on file. They will ask the bully if he will apologise to my son this is called 'restorative justice'. He doesn't have to, but they will make it clear to him that it is in his best interests.

 

Great to know there are so many fellow gingers out there to support him (dizzy blonde myself ), but why in our history are so many down on copperk"Ooops, word censored!"s? Jealousy 'cos you look so much better than the rest of us?

Edited September 10, 2009 by Guest

[Chucky Mama]

Good for you Happy Chickens I am glad that it is going to be made official. This boy needs a wakeup call. The outcome could have been very different, it was luck alone that stopped your son being badly injured or worse.

[Alis girls]

I do hope the 2 mums (one on facebook) get a good result and closure soon. it is traumatic enough reading it - what its like for you guys going through it goodness only knows Good luck guys and lotsa love

[Valkyrie]

I heartily agree with you Nochucksyetbutwilloneday

[Happy chickens!]

Thanks guys - it's strange how unloading to total strangers (well I do feel i'm getting to know you, but you know what I mean!) helps.

[Happy chickens!]

We had our appointment with the police this evening. The police officer explained first to me and DS what would happen then ushered in the bully and his Grandfather. He was asked to explain why he did what he did - no real reason, just that he thought DS was riding at him (he was crossing road, so didn't look both ways ).

 

The police officer then really really laid into him about how his behaviour was totally unacceptable and inappropriate and if he ever comes into contact with the police again there will be no second chance.

 

I had thought this was a bit of a woolley, ineffectual option, but actually she really made him squirm to the point of tears welling in his eyes. I almost felt sorry for him. If the message doesn't get through to him, nothing will. His Granfather is furious with him and he has to pay for the damage done to the car when DS hit it after being hit by the bully.

 

Overall feel much happier about the whole process. Bully has been basically warned to stay well away in very strongly worded terms by the police and so long as that is the case we will all be very happy to put the whole thing behind us.

[Patricia W]

I went to a talk on Restorative Justice by Sir Charles Pollard recently, who is a champion of this in this country and was most impressed.

 

However, the way he explained it, it works on the offender being helped to realise the impact their actions have had on the victim, rather than using the meeting as an opportunity to further threaten them with dire consequences unless they reform.

 

So in the examples we saw on a video he showed, the offender was asked to explain what s/he did and why, and then the victim laid in with how that made them feel and the long lasting effect it had on them. The aim is to get the offender to a point where he empathises with the victim and that's the point at which his behaviour is mose likely to change. There were offenders on there explaining how it had shocked them into changing.

 

Tricia

[ChrisP]

So glad to hear something;s been done about this bully, and so sorry to hear of the troubles you and your son have been put through. Hopefully this will scare the bully into not doing this ever again!

[clootie]

Great news - very pleased to hear it.

[Valkyrie]

That's how bullies really are - nasty little so and so's until they get caught and dealt with properly. Jolly good show.

[chickencam]

This does sound like a sensible way to eal with these people. They need to see the consequences of their actions and put themselves into the postion of the victim.

 

I hope that this is something that you can now all put behind, best wishes for the rest of the school year.

[Chucky Mama]

I went to a talk on Restorative Justice by Sir Charles Pollard recently, who is a champion of this in this country and was most impressed.

 

However, the way he explained it, it works on the offender being helped to realise the impact their actions have had on the victim, rather than using the meeting as an opportunity to further threaten them with dire consequences unless they reform.

 

So in the examples we saw on a video he showed, the offender was asked to explain what s/he did and why, and then the victim laid in with how that made them feel and the long lasting effect it had on them. The aim is to get the offender to a point where he empathises with the victim and that's the point at which his behaviour is mose likely to change. There were offenders on there explaining how it had shocked them into changing.

 

Tricia

 

All well and good but I doubt that there are many trained in this technique. It does I am afraid sound a bit 'fluffy' for me. I am sure that it works well with some but most just need an old fashioned bawling and a clip round the ear. It also has to be said that many of these bullies have troubled home lives and they are bringing behaviour that they pick up at home into the wider communtity

[Happy chickens!]

Patricia - the policewoman did go through a lot of the things you mentionned - eg how would you feel if this had happened to you, how do you think your Grandfather feels, but being a typical teenage boy he didn't have much to say.

 

I thought it was worth trying the techniques, although I was very skeptical, because she also left him in no doubt about how serious a situation he could have been in had the car not been able to stop.

 

I hope he understands (he said he did) that his reaction was out of all proportion and the point I made to him was that he doesn't need to like DS, just not let that sway his behaviour, that he will meet plenty of people in life that he doesn't like, but hitting them is not the way to deal with them!

 

Chucky Mama - yes this boy has had a troubled home life, but has a strong role model in his Grandfather, goes to a good school and should be able to make better decisions.

 

Fingers crossed that this kind of justice will work for everyone involved.

[jlo]

It is interesting to hear a first hand account of this and I really hope that it does the trick.

 

My late father was a police officer and at one stage was responsible for giving out cautions. I remember him saying that he didn't think that he had done a good job unless they started crying!

[chick wiggle]

Sounds like a good outcome, I just hope this has had the desired effect on the bully and he isnt led back into old behaviour by his peers. Peer pressure surely has a role to play in this and is probably one of the most influential aspects of a young persons childhood. By the sounds of it (tears welling etc.) it does sound promising. Very best wishes for you and your familys future

[kitbag]

I am really glad to hear that everything has been sorted for you and your DS.