Britannia Ovens (esp Range cookers) your experience

[Alis girls]

I have posted on "Rabbits" about our bun who is ill. My ES of 14 has accepted there is little hope of recoverey and an op may finish off our bunny. YS despite my best efforts in softening blow is beside himself. The thought of a deliblerate sleep admisnistered by a vet - brings on bouts of tears. I did explain it the best I could. I know a lot of you have lost chickens this winter and my friend is sympathetic but thinks i should just do the kindest thing (she lost a relative a10days ago so I can see she thinks this is madness) Just wondered what others had said to their offspring re this subject. YS is 8. thanks

[Seagazer]

It is hard but honesty is the best policy with children I've found. My YS was 9 when we had to have our dear old dog put to sleep. He wanted to go and say goodbye to her at the vets where she'd been for four days. He was absolutely distraught when even though she got up said hello to everybody the vet said she still wouldn't recover.

 

To this day he still hates the vets and thinks that they only ever want to put animals to sleep. I know this reaction will decrease over time and with his maturity, he is a big animal lover but coped quite well when his rabbit was pts a couple of years ago. He could see that AJ wouldn't be able to recover.

 

I hope it goes well for you and your children and I'm sorry about your bunny.

[Alis girls]

Thanks - my son just feels we are being cruel. He hates drs and vets in equal measures - totally different to other son. he is a difficult individual who i suspect will tell everyone I had the rabbit killed. Cue for visit from RSPCA. Joking aside I was convinced as a small child that vet kiiled my hamster so I know where he gets it from. I usued to lie about ES's fish when they died. He only recently found out and said he could see why as he cried for days.

[Ness3103]

sorry to hear about your bunny i have always been honest with all my children when we've had pets put to sleep. when my os's gerbil was very ill he wanted to come to the vet with us and stayed while she was pts. he was about 8 years old at the time. he saw that it wasn't something horrific, she just went to sleep. we always make the burial special for the kids too. they'd line a box or margerine tub with tissue then put their pet in and cover up with another tissue and flowers picked from the garden. they'd also decorate the lid of the box, say a little prayer if they wanted to and we told them that their pet is in heaven running around healthy & happy, and if it's a clear night sky they look for the brightest stars because thats their pet saying hello. i think now, my children deal with the death of a pet far better than i do

[jackiepoppies]

Hello,

My sympathies are with you. This is always a difficult subject with children but unfortunately a fact of life.

If it has to be done to save suffering I would suggest you make that decision ASAP so YS can begin the healing process.

Also, try to get ES to try and explain. That way it won't seem so much like 'all-powerful parents making a cruel decision' if your ES can explain and justify your intention of not letting your bun suffer unnecessarily.

Sometimes it helps if you can have a little remembrance plot in the garden.

Good luck.

 

Jx

[poachedegg]

Ruby our dog was out to sleep 3 weeks ago and whilst I used complete honesty with 18 and 16 yr old, I used white lie honesty with DD (.

 

I did not think she would understand the process of taking her to the vets and the vet making her die - she is quite a sensitive girl, so we said that Ruby went to the vets and whilst she was there she died, so not the complete truth....but the best for her in the circumstances.

 

I think each case is individual as children are individual and we should assess their thought process/level of understanding accordingly.

 

Good luck and really sorry ro hear about your rabbit.

[Saronne]

I think some children (and adults) will always find these matters very distressing regardless of how carefully/tactfully/honestly you explain it to them. I speak from experience, here. My poor OH always has to take old/ill pets to the vet's to be pts as I REALLY get cut up about it - even though I know it's the right thing to do - and, like everyone says, it is part of life...though still makes me teary-eyed just thinking about it.

 

Saronne xx

[Chook n Boo Mum]

Children are very resilient.....we have lost labs who both had to be PTS at advanced ages...the children were both there, they had the choice of staying and saying goodbye or say goodbye & go to friends/family....they both chose the former..DD was about 5 & DS about 8.......I explained that Gem & Rose (as appropriate) were very poorly, their bodies had started to wear-out & they were very likely in a certain amount of pain which would only get worse...neither of them would recover and the act of PTS was the kindest thing we could do.......the vet would give 2 injections, one to actually put them to sleep & stop the pain and the second stops their remaining organs working so they were at peace....I can't see what I'm typing so apologies for typing errors

 

We had a close friend who had died suddenly a few months before so the children decided that the girls had found Uncle Bryan and various other departed grandparents who they barely remembered & were having a wonderful time without any pain. They haven't forgotten them, but they needed the gap filled after the second one left us & fairly soon started asking for another dog...we now have 3

Tulip (ex batt) has since joined the old girls following a (neighbour's) dog attack and I suspect we will have another join her soon through illness, despite my best efforts

 

For my children being there was absolutely right and we are happy with the "over the rainbow bridge" thoughts which helped us all come to terms with the grief etc, only you can decide whether your YS will be able to deal with it.....sending you huge {{{hugs}}} to deal with this very difficult time.

 

I hope this helps.

 

Sha x

[Chickendoodle]

My Dad never came to terms with having an animal pts. He never forgave himself for having our poodle pts when I was 16 (many years ago in the 1970's!). Nicky, the poodle was 14, had lost nearly all his fur, his kidneys had given up etc etc and it was absolutely the right decision.

 

Many years later my Mum had their spaniel pts while Dad was in hospital. The spaniel had cancer and there was no hope. Dad said afterwards that if he had not been in hospital the dog would still be alive!

 

My Dad was not a heartless person at all - he was utterly devoted to his dogs but there was a part of his brain that could not understand that sometimes it is the kindest thing to put an animal out of it's misery. His feelings of guilt overrode everything else.

 

Maybe your YS has the same problem and he just cannot reconcile it in his head. It may be that ultimately whatever you say may make no difference to the way he feels.

 

We spent many hours talking with my Dad about it and although on one level he could see that sometimes an animal being pts is the kindest thing to do in his heart he could never accept it.

 

Good luck and I hope that everyone comes to terms with it in their own way.

[Alis girls]

Well after much thought I rang the vets this am and they kindly fitted us in. As its half term I didnt want things to drag on and she was very very weak and at night would sit on her snuggle safe with 2 towels over her for warmth. Also the abscess was leaking down her nose and she sat on my knee for a cuddle this am and didnt move. The vet was lovely and re-iterated what his colleague had about her being an OAP in rabbit terms. It didnt make it easier and OH was with me but I still wept. We told YS and please dont judge me for this that she had died under anaesthethic as he accepted this more than PTS. Dont ask me why. he helped OH dig the grave and he put her in the shoe box with a couple of flowers and painted her name on the slab we got to cover her. I also got 2 plants for the grave. We said a prayer and he seems ok.

We are going out tonight as I feel the kids need something to brighten their day. Thanks for your replies. Death is a part of our lives and pets dying is a good learning curve - I suspect my 2 are just super soppy like their mum.

[Daphne]

Oh dear - what sad stories; I'm sorry for all your losses For what its worth, I'm sure you did the right thing with your YS. Bad experiences can leave bad impressions for years and years, and you know him best.

[Seagazer]

Oh I am sorry about your rabbit but as Daphne has said you know your son best. Sending big (((hugs)))

[Lewis]

I'm sorry

 

If it helps him come to term with it, telling him that isn't a problem

[chelsea]

So sorry to hear about your bunny.

 

I think you've done the right thing to be honest , memories of having my family dog put down when I was a child have stayed with me all my life. We are all different and handle these things in various ways I suppose.

[craftyhunnypie]

So sorry. You did the best thing as regards what you told your son. Young minds are too sensitive to be told the truth sometimes. It's best he accepted what you told him & will be able to eventually get over the loss of his much loved pet.

 

Emma.x

[Chook n Boo Mum]

There's no right or wrong way to deal with this, everyone is different & will cope with it in their own way.

 

{{{hugs}}} to you all, RIP little Bun

 

Sha x

[Egluntyne]

Sorry to hear about this. I think it helps the children to have some sort of little ceremony as you have done.

 

We always had processions round the garden, with rose petals being strewn by my daughter, little poems being written, drawings sketched and on one occasion a little cross being made by my son from two pieces of firewood and a huge nail, even though we are not particularly religious. It all helps them sort things out in their mind.

 

On a couple of occasions I have been economical with the truth too, if I have felt it appropriate. It all depends on the age and sensitivity of the child.

 

Hope you are OK.

[chickenNutter]

You have done ab solutely the right thing, unlike me when our old cat was suffering a few years back. YD was about 8 and I whisked the cat to be put to sleep without telling her as I thought it would be kinder. When I told her she was devastated. Although fond of all our animals I had underestimated how close whe was to the old boy, she still gives me a hard time about it now, 4 years on. so you did the right thing involviong your son from the start. I think it is always a good thing to let children know that making THAT decision is part of the responsibility of owning a pet, and that it is actually something kind that you can do for them.

 

I lost my 12 year old bunny last Easter, and he was mine, not the kids, and I howled like 4 year old, so you have my greatest sympathies.

 

Hopefully after a good night out and a little time, you will ll be feeling more cheerful.

 

Hugs

[Alis girls]

Thanks everyone for your kind wishes. And also for not judging me by my little white lie. He is a sensitive little soul - I think growing up with pets is good and most of us have our first bereavement through our pets. A steep learning curve.felt choked reading your stories and hugs etc - a 12 yr old bun - and we were told ours was an old lady. Thank you so much everyone. Ali x

[chickencam]

Sorry to hear about your bunny.

 

My YD had her first experience of death when her great Gran died and I think it helps if they have experienced it quite young. Her first pet experience was our old cat and everyone got a chance to say goodbye to her as she slipped away at home. A few weeks later we had to have one of our first chickens PTS and it was YD's she came with me to the vets and the vet was lovely. He explained in simple terms what would happen and she got to say goodbye.

 

There is no right or wrong way it depends very much on the individuals involved.