Stuck run

[The Dogmother]

I loved that too Ginette - having a section meant that they kept me in longer

[Guest]

My first was by section after 35 hours labour. The nurses told me I should be more mobile because the lady in the next ward was doing better than I was. Cups of coffee were left 'over here for you dear' and no-one seemed to understand the practicalities of the surgery. I needed both hands to sit myself down, so could never pick up precious baby myself, always had to ask someone to help, which they did eventually and reluctantly. Very disappointing. The others were a much better experience.

[The Dogmother]

Treatment really does seem to vary - they looked after me very well, I was up and mobile pretty quickly, but as you say Ginette; some things are easier than others. I just loved the warm, milky time with my baby.

[Guest]

I just loved the warm, milky time with my baby.

Yes!!!!! those first hours are the very happiest times of my life. Really, really special. Nothing can beat what I felt then.

[PurpleHen]

Where you give birth has to be your own decision based on your own comfort zones, no matter what anybody recommends or advices you.

 

It is good that we do have the choice.

 

Gina - this is so true (BTW - you confused me with your change of username ).... it is so important to be where you feel comfortable, and to feel you can try at home and transfer is you wish. What bugs me is that so many people aren't given the choice - or frightened into a choice they wouldn't normally make for the convenience of others.

[PurpleHen]

I wouldn't go near the NHS for maternity care again ever thanks to my horrific GP who refused to consult me at all if I opted for a HB and ended up being so incensed at my choices that she ordered we be reported to the SS as a potential child protection risk!!!! So that was fun.

 

I had a battle too, I walked out of my GPs surgery one day and by the end of that day was registered with a different one entirely - after checking the new GP didn't have the same attitude - I felt so much happier

 

Even more so once at Independent Midwife was on the scene.

[PurpleHen]

Treatment really does seem to vary - they looked after me very well, I was up and mobile pretty quickly, but as you say Ginette; some things are easier than others. I just loved the warm, milky time with my baby.

 

Some of you seem to have much better hospital's than the local one here

You very much get left on your own afterwards and every one without exception in my parenting group (so all gave birth in Jan / Feb at our local hosp) said they felt like they were just in the way and had no help when they needed it and the MWs were rude and uncaring

 

So I achieved what you all said but at home - I didn't go downstairs for 4 days, got waited on hand and foot - just lots of special time tucked up with my DD.

 

I actually think what they need round here is a Midwife Led Unit type place, somewhere as a nice in between where people can feel more comfortable and secure.... Isn't going to happen though is it

[The Dogmother]

Perhaps you should speak to a few people about setting one up Jackie - I am sure that it would be a hit. There must be some trained midwives (independents) around, who would love to do it.

[Guest]

I heard from a recently qualified midwife that she couldn't get a job. Her version was that there aren't enough midwives in the NHS because the NHS doesn't employ them, not because there's a shortage.

 

In the right place, you could probably run a decent business as a private maternity unit. People could pay a monthly amount through their pregnancy, so that the final bill is not too huge.

[Aunty e]

I would so do that. We'll be trying to start our family in a year or so, and I've been sniffing around our local facilities and they're horrid. I wish I lived in Islington. But the private hospitals are so expensive. I hadn't considered an independent midwife though.....

[Jules.]

Aunty e, if you look on the AIMS website (Association for Improvements in Maternity Services) you will find info on Independant Midwives.

I chose to have a home birth for my second child after finding out information from the internet (that wasn't around in 1997 with DS1), & having had a straight forward first birth in hospital. I had a completely different experience to those of you who said they enjoyed the first few hours alone in the hospital with their baby, I have never felt as lonely in my life as I did when my husband had to go home after the birth & I was transferred up onto the post-natal ward. I had never been in hospital before (apart from my own birth), & at first I found the experience unsettling, but after chatting to the other new mums there it got better

I had a bit of a battle with some midwives during my second pregancy for my home birth (your first baby was small-for-dates I was told- he was 5lb 8oz, I am 5 feet tall, hubby is 5 feet 8 ) so that meant I "might" not get my homebirth I wanted, this was all said v early on in the pregnancy. We had moved house & area since then, & no one in my previous NHS trust had mentioned that they thought Alexander was small for dates. Different hospitals have different "policies", Merseyside would have only considered Special Care if a baby is less than 5lb, whereas Wigan considered 6lb to be small

Also, I was told that my GP did not do the baby paed check, so I would "have" to go to the hospital the following day to have him checked over- after a letter written to the Chief Ex & Head of Midwifery they "found" two hospital-based MW's who could do the check for me at home

A tip for anyone who is pregnant, if you are told some procedure is hospital policy & you are not happy with it, ask to see it in writing. Chances are they will not be able to produce it.

 

My home birth was fantastic, & I would recommend it to anyone & everyone. I had two community midwives with me -one for me & one for the baby- the whole time, & the best bit was being able to snuggle down afterwards in my own bed.

I would never have put either myself or Ethan in any risky position, and statistics now show that home birth is as safe as, or even safer than a hospital birth for normal pregnancies. At my home birth support group we have had ladies who have been recommended to transfer to hospital which they have, & they still feel empowered by their birth experience, which is sooo important.

 

Thanks for all your replies to my post.

[Jules.]

I just read Charlotte Church has had her baby at home

[fairy&cake]

No i didnt,.#

 

 

This time last year was the worst time of my life.

 

Seth, like his dad have disabilities, and are registered disabled therefor it makes them more difficult.

 

My Consultant whilst pregnant scanned me, told me i was having a huge baby and he was feet first breech.

 

I had to fight tooth and nail , for another consultant who then said i would never ever ever have him naturally.

 

When i had him 8lb 12. He was so swolen he didnt fit in 6-12 months clothes! The nurses said i would never ever had had him normally. And he would have died and i might have too.

 

Luckily he went to SCBU and the swelling went down. His head and arms had been stuck in my ribs, like Ross was when he was unborn.

 

The treatment afterwards was appauling, and one member of the NHS a Pead' has been struck off.

 

I dont even like thinking about it anymore!

[The Dogmother]

Poor you Laura.

 

Rosie was a very big baby too - luckily they went for an early section and we were both fine.

[fairy&cake]

she wouldnt let me have a section [not that i wanted one!] because there

 

to quote:

 

'' Simply isnt enough funding''

 

 

 

 

 

I flipped! Im suprised seth is here really. The amount of stress ii had during my pregnancy.

 

They still let me go 7 days over though!

 

It puts me off having the other 4 children id planned on.

[FORENSICA]

All the successful stories make me so happy (and broody too ).

 

We are actually in a process of hoping for a child and I realized that I am really worried about the state of NHS care. I think I would be worried to give birth to my first baby at home, as it is difficult to guess how one would react. But on the other hand, I would not want to end up at a corridor waiting for a stressed midwife. Difficult.

 

Did anybody consider to pay for a private midwife while giving birth at a hospital?

[bronze]

she wouldnt let me have a section [not that i wanted one!] because there

 

to quote:

 

'' Simply isnt enough funding''

 

 

 

 

 

I flipped! Im suprised seth is here really. The amount of stress ii had during my pregnancy.

 

They still let me go 7 days over though!

 

It puts me off having the other 4 children id planned on.

 

 

Have you had any counselling since then? I just wondered because I had some pts therapy after Nias birth and it helped me a great deal. I still get angry about it and easily upset but its definitely eased things. I find it very weird that this time last year I was still visiting her in hospital.

[fairy&cake]

she wouldnt let me have a section [not that i wanted one!] because there

 

to quote:

 

'' Simply isnt enough funding''

 

 

 

 

 

I flipped! Im suprised seth is here really. The amount of stress ii had during my pregnancy.

 

They still let me go 7 days over though!

 

It puts me off having the other 4 children id planned on.

 

 

Have you had any counselling since then? I just wondered because I had some pts therapy after Nias birth and it helped me a great deal. I still get angry about it and easily upset but its definitely eased things. I find it very weird that this time last year I was still visiting her in hospital.

 

No i havent..... Im ok about it now, i just worry about having more. If i could afford the £11,000 price tag of The Portland i would!

 

i think the stress in my pregancy was due to my parents splitting up, and my dad trying to commit suicide-twice.

 

i ended up becoming his full time career at 7 months pregnant.

 

Gawd- i sound like a loon!!! Youd never think i went to a private girls school!

 

 

I am normal though!

[Cate in NZ]

I'm looking at this from both sides. Having a baby is a massively important, emotional and stressful time for any woman, and we need it to be as safe and comfortable as it possibly can be. We won't achieve many things of more major impact that bringing the next generation into the world .

I was a midwife, gave it up a few years ago for several reasons, some personal, some job related, and delivered a handful of babies at home, I was present at the delivery of hundreds (if not thousands) in the hospital in a 9 year career, and 99% of the time it was the best job in the world. But it's a time when women and their families have very high expectations, and as we all know the best laid plans don't always work. Sometimes things went wrong due to human error (on both sides......... ever tried to deliver a baby from a woman who kept her legs firmly crossed whilst screaming foul four letter words. I have, and I don't thing that she got the wonderful birthing experience that was in her birth plan ). Sometimes dreadful, inexplicable tragedies happen, some of those are scarred on my memory for ever .

The few home births that I attended on were wonderful, a privelige to be there, and entirely straightforward thank goodness. But I was a practising midwife at the time both of my children were born and I chose hospital. I'm lucky, comfortable and familiar in hospital, friends to attend me, uncomplicated deliveries, short stays and so on, but I'd seen the worse case scenarios, and feeling relaxed in a hospital environment I decided which alternative felt safer for me and mine. I'm an adult and can cope with a lot in order to keep my children safe after all.............. they are no. 1 priority for me, every time .

But an uncomplicated home birth is truly fabulous for all concerned, and no GP has the right to be judgemental in my opinion. Risks have to be spelled out of course, but after that it's down to the parents to make a decision about what is right for them, hopefully supported by their midwife

[Jules.]

If I ever have another child I will not go near the NHS or my local midwives, as I was very upset by one of them during Ethan's pregnancy... I will have an Independant midwife.

[Egluntyne]

A friend of mine is an independent midwife. She lives just outside Sheffield. If anyone needs one in that area I could contact her........however, she is so busy she is turning work away!

 

That says a lot about peoples confidence in the NHS.

[PurpleHen]

All the successful stories make me so happy (and broody too ).

 

We are actually in a process of hoping for a child and I realized that I am really worried about the state of NHS care. I think I would be worried to give birth to my first baby at home, as it is difficult to guess how one would react. But on the other hand, I would not want to end up at a corridor waiting for a stressed midwife. Difficult.

 

Did anybody consider to pay for a private midwife while giving birth at a hospital?

 

I had an independent midwife and birthed my first baby at home earlier this year. I started off in the NHS system and after comparing the care I received ante natally with both and then comparing the rest of my care to those people who went the NHS route - I would advise anyone who can afford it to get an Independent Midwfie (at least locally to here - different areas of the country do of course have different standards of care )

 

Do remember that you can start off at home and transfer into hospital at any time. My understanding is that most complications don't "suddenly" happen. Which enables time to transfer to hospital should the need arise. The thing to think about is, what could go wrong? And then, what would be the difference in treatment between home and hospital? And then, are you comfortable with either home OR hospital (one of the reasons I prefered to be at home was due to the low intervention rates and therefore complications caused by this).

 

And always remember you may have to transfer and this doesn't mean failure!

 

Most hospitals won't let you have an independent midwife attend you if you are planning a hospital birth - and they all differ if you transfer from a planned homebirth with an independent midwife. My local trust says it will not allow an independent midwife to be the caregiver after a transfer - but my midwife has been allowed to carry on giving primary care on the few occasions she has transferred with a mother to our local hospital.

 

If you are interested in researching it, try this website: homebirth

 

My birth story has recently been added, if you PM me I'll tell you which one!

[FORENSICA]

Thanks PurpleHen. Very interesting site! (but your gallery doesn't work)

 

Home birth would be definitively something what I would also consider, even though my family and friends would probably think that I risk too much. But what I read so far, the risk is not that big. I trained as a nurse and seen many labours at the hospital and found them very cold and unpleasant for the women there. To have all the cosines of your home must be priceless in that time I reckon. But what do I know.

[chickencam]

I had my first child in hospital, she was small 3 wks early and had low blood sugar. I think on balance I was right to be in hospital for her birth beacuse I had severe itching all over my body which is a sign of a liver condition brought on by pregnancy which I believe can be fatal to both mother and baby. They did not recognise that I had this condition until the day she was due to go home when they finally realised that a pale skinned blue eyed woman is very unlikely to have a naturally orange baby!

 

When I was expecting my second child I had a very supportive midwife, lived 5 minutes from the local hospital and was in good health therefore I decided to go for a home birth. The midwife was great and came and sat with me for about 4 hours of the 6 that I spent having contractions on my birthday a few days before my son was due. Neither of us could believe that labour then stopped and did not restart for another 2 weeks. Had I been booked for a hospital birth I would have sepent most of my birthday in hospital. He was then born within a couple of hours 2 wks later and she only just made it in time. She then ran me a bath and left me an hour later tucked up in my own bed. Bliss.

 

I wanted a home birth with my third child but the miswife was hopeless and I had no confidence in her. I went to hospital at 5am on Friday the 13th ( you loose your superstitions after that) and gave birth 40 minutes later but they would not let me go home because it was a very cold day and my daughter was only 5lb 11.5oz. Finally at 8pm a sensible doctor came along and said this is her 3rd child and she has a centrally heated home 5 minutes away why is she still here. I had spent the day trying to get some sleep with vacuums going and being prodded every half hour or so for some check or other I had been awake for 24 hours and was not happy my hubby had to spent our first night at home with our screaming daughter in another room because I just couldn't cope.

 

I would always recommend home birth, but you have to have confidence in the midwife and be sensible about the medical side.

[Egluntyne]

Goodness! How dreadful for you.

 

My youngest was a Friday the Thirteenth baby.