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Guest chookiehen

I wonder.....

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If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

 

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

 

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

 

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

 

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

 

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

 

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

 

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

 

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

 

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

 

What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?

 

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

 

No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

 

Ever wonder about those people who spend £2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

 

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?

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:D:D:D:D:D

 

Here's some more!

 

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

 

What is another word for thesaurus?

 

How does the bloke who drives the snow plough get to work in the morning?

 

Why is there only one monopolies commision?

 

If moths like light so much why don't they come out during they day?

 

Why isn't Phonetic spelt the way it sounds?

 

Who decided it was good to drink cow's milk and what was he doing at the time?

 

 

:D:D:D

 

Kev

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Very funny.!! :lol:

 

Him Indoors does a bit of after dinner speaking and usually fits a few of this type of joke in.

 

He is always looking for new ones so I expect he'll pinch these!! :lol::lol:

 

In which case Egluntine, I have one for you......... but can't post it here :lol::lol:

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Brilliant...but of course, I'm left wondering what Eglutine's OH is going to tell the Union of Catholic Mothers :shock::D

 

Was just kidding.....he isn't really going to speak to them!!

 

He does a lot of sporting dinners etc and now and then a Rugby Club do, so you can imagine what sort of jokes are expected there! :roll: (He never uses 4 letter words though!

 

He does quite a few professional dinners too. I get invited but duck out if I can! :roll: I've heard them all before!

 

Always glad of new material! :lol:

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