The Dogmother Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 I was just sent this email - boy did it make me laugh.. and think too 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques. 12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good. 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes. 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. 23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. 25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat. 26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 29. You should not confuse your career with your life. 30. "Ooops, word censored!"ody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 31. Never lick a steak knife. 32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. 33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. 36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. 37. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) 38. Your friends love you anyway. 39. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new.Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 (edited) Very good Number 39 seems to ring a bell............................. (see Ginettes post!) Edited June 26, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenlass Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 So True. ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 Love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starboyhull Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 hehe quite a few ring true..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moochoo Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 Fantastic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 After the day ive had i will take note of No. 29! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 Fab Claret. No 28 is soooo true! I love no 27! Him Indoors will be glad of these. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlottechicken Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 Absolute genius Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 So many of them ring soooo true . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cate in NZ Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 Excellent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chocobo Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 they're good, i might steal them for my dad, he wants to do a poster for our bathroom to give people reading material for when they're in there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 especially 27. Chickens - a hobby? 37 is also very true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beach chick Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 11, 19 and 28 ring true for me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubereglu Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 They're brilliant Claret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 he he he he he I might steal those for my classroom wall, or probably the staffroom wall thank you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
