Mrs

[Ain't Nobody Here]

YS has accepted his place at Stirling Uni but is supposed to be sitting Advanced Higher Biology & Geography and Higher Maths this year (in a few weeks' time in fact ).

 

He has no motivation whatsoever and has admitted he doesn't want to do any work and doesn't care about the exams at all.

 

I veer from cajoling/appealing to his maturity (hah!) to shouting and threatening (which doesn't work as he says threats won't make him work).

 

I'm currently trying the carrot approach, setting him work to do each day and rewarding him with time on World of Warcraft (which is the worst invention in the world ). We're on Day !. A little work has been done .

 

Anybody else in a similar situation ?

[sadietoo]

Sorry to add to your pain, but a salutory tale., (which you can pass on you your DS if you like)....My DS did not have an unconditional offer, and met the offer from his Uni..however, as you may have seen me post on here some time ago his specified B grade for Maths did not prepare him at all for sitting in classes with those with A* and additional maths, with the consequence that the work soon was outside his grasp (no matter how hard he tried), and although he was coping very well with the Physics demanded by his course, he felt so disheartened by the whole experience he decided to suspend and is (fingers crossed!) temporarily at home. (He is intending to return in October to a different (less mathsy !) course...we think and hope....

 

In DS case he had actually done the work and he still struggled.....it that an angle you could work on?

 

Good luck! x

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Poor boy . I hope he manages to get onto a course which suits him better .

 

It's certainly worth a try, anything is . I've tried telling him that if he works at these subjects, his first year at Uni will be so much easier for him. I get the "teenage shrug" in return.

[chickencam]

Good luck, I am struggling with my DS at the moment with GCSE revision. He is very bright but very lazy

 

ED is very hard working and has rejected her unconditional offer at Aber. and is aiming for 3 A's for Bristol, her friends think she is mad, but that is where she wants to go she does have her reserve as a lower offer for Gloucestershire, the campus for which is about 10 minutes walk away from home, but to be honest we hope she gets Bristol because it would do her good to get away.

 

Edited to say that we have offered money for higher grades which DS can put towards buying a new laptop if he gets them, this has worked to an extent.

[bluekarin]

I don't have anything to add, but I am so with you on World of warcraft. Evil game

 

I hope he gets a bit more motivated soon. Maybe by being in a class with people who are higher grade wise than him, and having to struggle a bit as he doesn't know it all, will be the wake up he needs. My DS who is 13 so not in the same place as yours, has suddenly got a bit of a kick up the proverbial after his end of term report which he wasn't happy with. The same happened with ED, and she is now on course to get GCSE A* most of her subjects. Not sure how things will be when we are looking at Uni....

[Pipichick]

Unfortunately with all of the hundreds of degrees being handed out by the ever growing number of universities, the majority of employers will look closely at A level results in conjunction with Degree results. Your YS will make it very easy for employers to reject him without even interviewing. It may even be seen as a sign of poor academic commitment, lack of focus & maturity during his A level years, and slightly embarrassing to have to sit in a job interview and explain he couldn't be bothered as he had secured the uni place regardless He perhaps also needs to think whilst he is committed to his subject of choice at University, what would happen if he decides later on to change career direction?? His choice of A-levels would provide a good basis for lots of subjects but only if good grades are achieved.

 

With the job market as it is and lots of unfortunate people with First class honours struggling to find a job YS probably needs to get reading asap. Good luck with the motivation.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Pipichick, that is very well put and is exactly what I've been trying to get him to understand . ES is at Uni now and doing fine but his CV is pretty poor, exam results-wise so I worry about his job prospects when he's finished .

 

At 17, they just don't think long-term .

[LolaLayla]

No studying has been done here at all over the holidays I have read several of these comments to my YS but he still is not particularly bothered as he is in the same position as ANH's YS He says he will apply himself in the next few weeks........here comes the blue moon I shouted and fussed a lot last year but have held back this year as I will not be able to be so on top of things when he starts Uni. I have no idea of the best approach

[Chucky Mama]

Our house is full of study but then ES has conditional offers and DD knows that she needs a hat full of A*at GCSE to go into her chosen career. I think that unconditional offers are a disaster, particularly for boys. I don't think that you are alone by a long way. Someone said to me once that boys can be lazy until they know where they are going and I think that it is very true. Pipchick's comments are very valid, it is tough out there and he may well regret not putting in the work now later. I do know of someone that was visited by staff from Harvard and given an unconditional offer, they decided not to take their 6 odd A Levels and went on holiday instead! Mind you, if Harvard come to you, you must be able to afford the luxury of arrogance

[sparkysmum]

Same boat here Vicki. Jonathan got 5 unconditionals earlier this year. Since then he has done nothing at all except for his advanced higher Computing project. He has accepted his place at Edinburgh - Computing Science & Maths & has no further interest in school life. His biggest decision was whether to accept a place in Edinburgh or St Andrews but at the end of the day Edinburgh just put on a better show.

 

There is a bonus for us Omleteers of course - we can have mini get togethers when we're visiting our respective sons

 

Good to see you back Alli x

[freddie]

We have the same issue with GCSE revision.

I'm fed up with it already.

A levels are just a dreadful prospect.

What really gets me is that he is so so bright, and with a little effort, he'd have more than a hands worth of A A*'s.

If someone had exposed me to exam time teenagers, I'd not have had kids

[Ain't Nobody Here]

That's great news, Alli . How funny that our boys are swopping where they live with each other .

 

For those not on Facebook :

 

[Purplemaniacs]

I feel for those of you going through this.

 

It must be a boy thing.

 

When I did my A levels (some years ago) my school wasn't interested in me as I was the only one not going to uni, I had unconditional offer of a place at Great Ormond Streat to do combined RGN RSCN, so I had to prove them wrong got the best results of all the girls and only a couple of the boys beat me Suddenly the head of the sixth form was interested and tried to persuade me to see sense and go to uni

 

Good luck to the all the parents trying to support their DDs and DSs

 

Chrissie

 

[Cinnamon]

This time in a young persons life is horrid for them & us.

 

My youngest girl has just dropped out of college in her A2 year,as she wasn't happy with her choosen subjects

She has got a little waitressing job in a very nice local pub,but apart from that seems to have no ambitions beyond seeing her mates & 'hanging out'

We gave told her that she must pay her way now,& she has dropped her cv everywhere,so we shall see.

 

It has been a dreadful,stressful,emotional & worrying time for me,these past few weeks.

 

Good luck!

Edited April 14, 2012 by Guest

[patsylabrador]

I have a lot of respect for kids that break the mould and trust themselves to forge their own future. Good luck to your girl Cinnamon and we should trust them. I think they know what they're doing - mostly.

Everything has changed in this country and our young people see it and adapt. Having a degree doesn't deliver what it used to and they know it.

[sparkysmum]

Love that poster Vicki, There's a big hole in OS's bedroom it will fit nicely over Alli x

[LolaLayla]

The poster is great. I was going to share on FB but reckoned I couldn't cope with YS reaching for the spotted handkerchief...........actually judging by the large pile of washed and unwashed clothes on his floor if he was to try and take them all then several black bags would need to go on the stick over his shoulder........it does paint a funny picture in my mind though He would probably only get to the end of the road, feel he couldn't possibly use a bus to leave and come home for a lift from "mums taxi".

[Chookiehen]

My eldest has often threatened to leave home (I always get "DAD will take me in!!"), but then I point out that only a mother would be daft enough to put up with his dirty pants and socks, and do his ironing, whilst leaving him time to do his studying, and FB browsing, and he soon changes his mind!

 

I'm sure they've said they are putting an end to unconditional Uni offers, either after the next exam year or the one after. Sounds like it would be a good idea - I'm certain my ES would have exactly the same attitude if he was given one.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

That does sound like a good idea. Although, I remember the stomach-churning feeling waiting for ES's results to come through when he had a conditional so either way is not much fun .

 

I think if they're planning on staying on at school for 6th year they should get a conditional, regardless of whether they already have the grades required or not. The conditions wouldn't have to be too stringent.

[LolaLayla]

Maybe that they just turn up on time

[Ain't Nobody Here]

That would certainly be a challenge for some .

[LolaLayla]

Indeed