freddie Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 What a week. A friend I've known since we were teens together, has been hit by Leukemia, and the prognosis is not good, or long. Then today, a very very dear friend, has contacted me to tell us her hub has Motor neurone. Beyond sad, we know them both, and most of their families, we have kids the same age, who have grown up together, very close. her Oh had MRI last week, and this is the result. Dont really know what to do or say, it's just the pits. And frightening. Wanted to dump all the grief somewhere, I usually don't, even when my mum died, and more recently my last Aunt. they were of an age where you sort of expect things, but this has me in pieces. She's asked me not to ring back, as they need time to come to terms with it., so I sent a txt, but I feel so sad for them all, he's a super bloke, and gives joy and plaesure to everyone who knows him, professionally and privately. It's not fair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goosey Lucy Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 This must have really knocked you for six, I have no real words of advice or comfort, I'm sure your friend will call on your support when she is ready. (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soapdragon Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Thats so sad - all you can do, at this stage, is to be there for them when they need you. But how cruel life is sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purplemaniacs Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Freddie I know how you feel, a good friend of mine was diagnosed with a brain tumour last summer. I have known her for 15 + years, we work together at school and our chldren are a similar age and went to school together. I didn't know what to do or say but I just texted her and kept in touch letting her know I was there if she wanted a chat. I like text as if she is having a bad day due to chemo/radiltherapy she can reply when she is up to it. Two good friends with such devasting news is hard, just be there for them when they need you and are ready to talk to friends. I know some of my friend's friends have avoided contacting her because they don't know what to say and don't want to be in the way but I know she is sad that she has not heard from them and I have encouraged them to get in touch with her. Chrissie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freddie Posted February 27, 2013 Author Share Posted February 27, 2013 Thanks Chrissie. I feel so sad. There have been a few things in the last few months, one of which is so devastating I cant even talk about it. This just finished me today. I'll be ok tomorrow, I'm fairly tough really Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purplemaniacs Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Life is so hard sometimes and so cruel to some people. Hugs from East Northants Take care of yourself. Chrissie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 People on this forum have always been there with kind words for me when I've needed them. I'm not very good at comforting words but my thoughts are with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freddie Posted February 27, 2013 Author Share Posted February 27, 2013 Thanks all. I wish we could wave a wand, and make it all go away, esp for the good people, who really don't deserve it, (not that anyone does, but you know what i mean) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluekarin Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Oh Freddie that is awful. Bad enough to have one bit of bad news, but two (or three) is very hard. Just let your friends know you are there. Keep in touch and don't assume that because they don't contact you they don't need you. Some people find it hard to ask for help. They probably need space right now to deal with their news and futures. Texts are great as it gives them time to get back when they are in the right frame of mind. My thoughts are with you and them x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Looney Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Sending you lots of hugs Freddie, it's not fair, and it's hard feeling powerless Take care of yourself xxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I'm so sorry, such a lot of sad news to take in at the same time. I agree with bluekarin that sometimes a text is easier as it gives the other person time to decide whether to reply or not, in case they're have a bad day. That's why this forum is good sometimes, you can offload your worries and fears for your friends and sometimes it helps to be able to 'talk' through things with people that are not personally affected. Sending you (((hugs))). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickendoodle Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I am so sorry to hear your awful news. There are no words that can make it better unfortunately but at least you can offload some of your feelings here. We should all count our blessings and stop worrying about inconsequential things I think Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freddie Posted February 28, 2013 Author Share Posted February 28, 2013 Thanks all. This forum is an absolute lifeline sometimes. I tend not to post up sad stuff, as we all have more than enough to deal with every day, it seems unfair to unload. My OH did book tickets for Skyfall the same evening as I had gone to a very very difficult funeral back last year., and I have no idea what the film was about, as I spent the entire time in floods, quietly. The bloke sat next to me on the other side must've thought I was nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGirlsMum Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Thinking of you. Having had a brain heamorrage last year I know I couldn't face talking to people but texting was a life line. You need to sort things out in your own head before you share with others but knowing you are there is enough. Sorry things are tough take care of your self and give that dog a hug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freddie Posted February 28, 2013 Author Share Posted February 28, 2013 I nevre knew you'd been so poorly, I am sorry, I hope you're mending now.. It puts all sorts into perspective, doesn't it? I feel blessed to be free from any bad stuff illness wise myself, and that my kids are healthy; it's all you want really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGirlsMum Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I'm well on the mend thank you Freddie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvachicken Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 My OH did book tickets for Skyfall the same evening as I had gone to a very very difficult funeral back last year., and I have no idea what the film was about, as I spent the entire time in floods, quietly. The bloke sat next to me on the other side must've thought I was nuts. This brought tears to my eyes. I just wanted to send you the biggest hug ever for you and your friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Just catching up after a week or so away.....hunny, you know where I am if you want to offload...big (((hugs))) xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freddie Posted March 8, 2013 Author Share Posted March 8, 2013 What would we all do without the forum. My friends have told their three kids, the older two are almost exactly the same age as my two, and we've known them since birth. The eldest has pretty much gone into disbelieving shock. The middle one refuses to accept this, and the youngest , at 9, has coped the best for the moment, lots of questions, etc. It's all so sad. we've all had a weep, not that that does much good, so now we're trying to work out practical things, they have a smallholding, so it's not easy, sheep/hens/pigs/orchards/massive garden veg plot etc.. and a drive that caved in last month due to the rain, which the insurance are trying to wriggle away from. The saddest thing is he's a healer, one of the top accupuncturists in the country, and no one can do anything to make this stop. He is treating himself with herbs, which seems to be slowing things down, thank goodness. He really is a top gent, and we all love him to bits, it's such a shame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superkitty Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 What a horrible shame At least you can help practically with the small holding, I'm sure your support will be invaluable to them. Life is very unfair sometimes, isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
