How can I find my old pictures?

[Alis girls]

Have got this for my dad who has been admitted to hospital with low sodium, confusion and falls. I think its time to activate this as hes been playing secret squirrel with his finances - found a fair amount of money in his wardrobe and telling people hes broke. I know he has investments. hes got mild vascular dementia.

 

I want to take over his finances before his life savings get taken from his house. Whats the next step does anyone know? thanks Ali

[Grandmashazzie]

I am taking from your thread you have power of attorney but not yet activated? I would presume you would take documents to bank/ building society so they can have accounts set up with you as signatory. My OH did this for an elderly uncle and he and another cousin were in charge of finance and both signatures were needed.

[Alis girls]

It's gone through all the processes so I just need to take to bank etc. Only downside I live in London and dads in Leicestershire. I also want to set up DD for bills. Thanks for that info.x

[Olly]

I'm sorry to hear your dad is unwell.

 

When was it made? If it's an 'old' Enduring Power of Attorney made before October 2007 you'll need to register it with the Court of Protection. If it's been made since then it will be a Lasting Power of Attorney and it should already be registered, but you'd need to check. In that case you'll need to produce it to the bank etc and say you want to deal with his accounts. You'll need to keep records of course, and keep everything in separate accounts but banks should be used to dealing with these, it's not too complicated. Good luck.

 

Sorry - just seen your post above, so that's answered the question. Should think you can do it remotely without you needing to go to the bank.

[Alis girls]

Thanks ladies. I have driven about 240 miles this weekend. Very tired and feeling over laden. Now have to wait and see what happens next. Care at home or care home. Hes never been easy and recent years has been difficult with money. Hes told me he's paid his car tax but checked on line he hasn't. I know its partly the disease but at times the confusion seems to come and go. Oh well thanks for advice. Xx

[Grandmashazzie]

Take care. It's a hard time, just when we are hoping kids will be not so needy our parents need us more and more. Difficult too when there is distance involved. O H's dad is 93 and lives alone about 100 miles from us, thankfully he has great neighbours that keep eye out for him.

[Valkyrie]

It's a good idea for everyone to take that step while they are "in sound mind". We've just signed our lives away to our daughter - difficult decision as we have not added the son - he's not quite as astute as we'd like. Our daughter is pretty airy fairy but she does have a little common sense!

Visited my mum the other day and said that she should ask my brother to be a P of A for her - she said he already was because that was done when she moved (hmmm, nice to know - but then that's what we've done regarding the boy) so I'm glad she's done it too.

We hope we can add our boy at a later date when he is more settled.

[Olly]

I'm contemplating it - trouble is my family (I don't have children) are scattered far and wide around the UK. There is no point in appointing one of my siblings, they are all older than I am, so it would be a nephew or niece and I wouldn't want to put someone in Ali's position, where they have to manage care from a distance (I'm hoping it's a good way off before it's needed but you never know!). I am thinking of asking a close friend if she'd be my attorney. She probably knows me better than my family and I trust her more!

[soapdragon]

Sorry to hear that you are having a rough time of it, Ali. At least you were wise enough to get the framework set up though so brilliant forward planning there! Hope all is working out for you....?

 

My parents are in their early 80's and, although I no longer see my father due to a mega row about five years ago, I notice that my mother seems to be fading more each time I see her (which is about every half term or so as I am not allowed to visit the family home now!) I have a sister 5 years younger and she says its the same with father (she is very much the golden girl and sees them regularly!) but, when I suggested to her that we should perhaps investigate P of A and local options for residential care, she got extremely upset and refused to discuss it at all! I have a feeling that, when the time comes, she will 'get all emotional' and it'll be Muggins stuck with the sorting!

 

Olly, your friend sounds like an excellent choice; it doesn't have to be a family member at all and sometimes better if not....depending on the family, of course

[Daphne]

Grrrr, I wrote a novel in reply and its disappeared!

 

In summary, I am going through a POA (both medical and financial) with my Mum right this minute, before anything happens to her. We are doing this because my MIL has been diagnosed with Alzeheimers and my SIL is having to do a POA in a hurry. My Mum has been able to tell me her wishes, and they will be contained in a legal document, which is protection for her and clear instruction for me whilst we are all calm and rational! The forms have to be witnessed and then paid for and registered with the Office of the Public Guardian, I don't think they are binding till registered Assuming your POA is registered then I'd check with your Dad's bank/utility companies/council/TV etc what you have to do to take control of his accounts/bills, as I suspect the process may be slightly different with each.

 

I'd also check out your care options in your Dad's locale and also in yours. The thing with money is incredibly common, and its also usual for the disease to appear to be selective, but it isn't really, its more that some days are better than others. Either way its obviously hard for the person concerned, but it is also hard on family, you are never quite sure of a whole host of things.

[Princess Leia]

I had to do this for my mum in the same circumstances in late 2014. Fortunately got it all in place whilst she was still OK to be interviewed for the process. Once the OPG have signed off and returned the PoA documents (it's a separate one each for finance/property and health/welfare, they took about 2 weeks to come back but it can be longer), you'll then have to register them with each organisation involved, banks, building societies, inland revenue, doctors, utility providers, etc. That can be a pain as some need to see the original document, although some will accept a scanned and e-mailed copy, I found. Once that's done, everything else has been reasonably straightforwards. If only here care was the same...

[Sil-El]

Thanks ladies. I have driven about 240 miles this weekend. Very tired and feeling over laden. Now have to wait and see what happens next. Care at home or care home. Hes never been easy and recent years has been difficult with money. Hes told me he's paid his car tax but checked on line he hasn't. I know its partly the disease but at times the confusion seems to come and go. Oh well thanks for advice. Xx

 

So sorry to hear you are going through this and I know from experience how exhausting it can be. My dad and FIL had dementia and in both cases it always seemed to be worse during or after periods of illness, or if they were dehydrated or not eating properly. FIL in particular was a right so and so with eating and drinking and it always made his dementia worse so that may be something to bear in mind.

 

From our experience, the various agencies involved will try and do care at home for as long as possible and a care home is usually a last resort - FIL had to go into a care home eventually because he was deemed a danger to himself and others. You may also find that to get anywhere, you will have to be persistent and it's a good idea to take notes of every conversation you have, who with, what was said etc, because no one ever writes anything down and you may find yourself dealing with a different person every time and have to go through the whole story again and again

 

Good luck and take care.

[Geoid]

Hes told me he's paid his car tax but checked on line he hasn't.

Does he still drive? If so, have the DVLA been told that he has dementia?

[Alis girls]

He has been and yes they know. But I don't think he will be driving now. I spoke to the nurse he'd forgotten my mum was dead (21years ago) never done that before. In the past his confusion was strange in that he could appear worse if it were a subject he didn't like. When my mum died he didn't help himself. He rallied a little and ES got the best of him. YS sadly didn't see he at his best. He became stubborn, waspish and difficult. Now he's sadly mentally wasting away. I worshiped my dad as a little girl but over the years found him very hard to deal with. Had a few wobbles the last few days. Picked Christmas card for him today and wondered would he realise what it was for. Part of me hopes he'll rally the other half realises that things have changed. Sorry for ramble.

[Blackrocksrock]

Very sorry to hear he has gotten so bad. Never easy but for those of us who have no POA Moneysaving expert site gave codes for half price just now. Worth looking into.