Chicken bald back

[Egluntyne]

Nice to see you back Revnev

[Couperman]

We don't have kids yet, so I'm not an authority on the subject.

However I was a child once and still can be a lot of the time.

 

I think smacking is fine as long as its done properly, I don't mean with a big run up or anything but it does work and you shouldn't have to do it more than once. I can only remember one such good hiding, I wasn't marked or permanently damaged but I did realise what the threat entailed and that my parents weren't shy to carry it out!

 

After that the threat of it worked on me.

 

Once we became physically larger than my parents my mam switched to emotional terrorism with startling success!

 

She could wrap us round her little finger with a well crafted guilt trip!

 

I think most kids are well behaved and those that are not belong to parents who lost the boundary battle early on.

 

We have friends with two boys who they have absolutely no control over.

I have to laugh at them trying to, but they left it too long and now they have a big problem everytime they take them anywhere.

 

Its all dead easy bringing kids you know! well at least until they are born it seems! ( and thats debatable too apparently)

 

Kev.

[SarahJo]

I'm not a mass smacker or anything, Phil . Thats why I put it lightheartedly as a skelped bahookie - yes, my boys do know what it means, and No, they very rarely have had it done .

 

I also use sanctions - loss of PSP, or not footy training. Though have just spent 5 weeks "looking" after a pile of kids, who decide our house is the place to play - 2 boys whose Dad is a copper, and supposedly KNOW their boundaries, went missing . Of course they look here 1st, then I feel guilty - not that I took responsibility in the 1st place . I think that made it clear to me, that even the children who are supposed to know their boundaries, push it and ignore when out of sight.

[xChicken04x]

I watched this pogramme about disipling kids a couple of months. It was evil!!! It was on channel 4 or 5 iam sure the lady was a nutter!

 

xx

[One Man Banned]

slightly not the same topic (as I don't have children) but the same tactic do work on animals and men

 

Molly knows when she had done something wrong and just a slip of the word "naughty" brings her grovelling to your heels - even if she's being perfectly well behaved and we're just in conversation and the "N" word is said - guilty conscience that dog

 

I find that just being firm and making it clear what you expect works well. As Christian pointed out that "the look" works with his customers some times (and they need it I'm sure) I had one guy who thought it was perfectly acceptable to shout, swear and be generraly rude when I had a queue the other week - ok so he waited 1.5hrs for a car but I can't help that!)

He was politely told to not swear in front of me or my staff as I don't want to hear it. Got another mouthful calling me a jumped up little *&%$ so he was more sternly told that he won't be getting served here and he went to another company for his car - pre-paid already or not I couldn't give a damn.

 

I had another guy tell me he was going to send his wife in to "tear strips off me" as there were a few problems. As calmly as I could muster he got :

"Well if you're not up to the job you have to send her in then fine, but it still won't make your car come any quicker" - he sat down quietly after that

 

I guess sometimes people think you'll just not even attempt to challenge their behaviour in the service industry and when it does get challenged then it actually makes them embarrased.

 

I can only imagine the impression that the above's children got watching their parents behave like that!

 

A

xx

[Looney]

I have no children (yet ) but am hoping that I will be able to raise mine to be well-behaved (most of the time) and polite - especially to strangers. I'm picking up tips here

 

So many grown-ups have no manners so it is hardly surprising that their children pick up the same bad habits. A woman shoved me out the way the other day to make sure she got on the train in front of me - it wasn't even busy - and when I said rather loudly "please don't push me" she swore at me! It makes me thankful that my parents raised me with better manners, although I'm sure the woman in question thought she was well within her rights to act how she did

[Looney]

I have no children (yet ) but am hoping that I will be able to raise mine to be well-behaved (most of the time) and polite - especially to strangers. I'm picking up tips here

 

 

I meant to put "especially so to strangers"! Not suggesting it would be ok for them to be rude to people they know!

[Snowy]

Great debate here!

Most children's 'naughtiness' is not intentionally naughty anyway, most of it is sheer enthusiasm and inquisitiveness. But they do need to learn 'no' and 'don't' from an early age so that they can be enthusiastic and inquisitive safely! Although there are times when their sheer energy just wears you down - my two are constantly on the go, wrestling; running; painting; making; doing; shouting; screaming; climbing; whying and generally creating chaos. There are days when I feel like I am running round after them picking up without ever getting chance to get ahead of them to plan things properly. I really try to do things properly and not to smack; to reward good behaviour; use time out etc, but even the best intentions slip when under pressure. I agree some peoples ideas seem very strange to me - but I'd hate to be judged myself on my own children's behaviour.

 

But children do learn from their parents - I laugh at my sister in law when her children swear and she says 'I don't know where the ******* ***** he learnt that from'

[Popcorn]

i know lots of people seem to think smacking is a jolly good thing... and it's not against the law - so it's up to you..

 

but I don't and I never would.

 

my kids have never been smacked and they are perfectly well behaved. "Boundaries" are the most important thing in terms of discipline - boundaries well negotiated (yes - negotiated) and enforced with well understood realistic consequences properly enforced..

 

but "boundaries" "discipline" and "smacking/hitting" are not necessarily the same thing.

 

not really wanting to open up the whole smacking debate - opinions are rarely changed by it and it generates more heat than light - but as it has now been mentioned in post after post, I wanted to just mark the fact that there is another view - and that those who do not smack their children do not necessarily have out-of-control children...

 

Phil

 

I totally agree Phil. You've said exactly what I wanted to after I started reading posts.

 

Having become a parent myself last year, I mix with other parents on weekly basis in various groups we go to. I'm no expert, but I too am shocked at the reaction from parents of naughty children. So many of them give warnings that are not followed through, and the child learns nothing.

[Helly Welly]

You should all try living in my street!

 

My next door neighbours kids are all nightmares, the youngest is 8 and they all swear like troopers. There seems to be very little effective discipline, although their father does give them a whack, and i mean a whack, sometimes.

 

Two doors up the road are another dodgy lot. The four year old boy was leaning over the fence calling my daughter an f***ing minger the other day, just for the fun of it.

 

The girl at the bottom of our street is about 14/15 and was arrested last year. She spent most of last year verbally abusing me in the street, knocking on the door just to give me a mouthful, and no the police were no good, just told me to keep a diary. This has now stopped but the other night i was again shocked. Another resident was walking dowen the street to go home. The 14/15 year old was in the street chatting with 4 adults, one of which is my next door neighbour. As soon as the girl saw the other resident, she staryted having a massive go at her, calling her names and swearing herr head off, and the other adults did absolutely nothing.

 

I always tell other kids off if they misbehave near me and i usually got a mouthful for my trouble but when i was a child, it was the fact that any adult would tell you off that kept a lot of bad behaviour in check.

[The Dogmother]

I told soem lads off the other day for swearing in front of Rosie - every other word began with an F or worse. They were suitably contrite and to my amazement, they apologised.

[Mel (& Paul)]

Your reputation obviously precedes you

[The Dogmother]

It was the chainsaw that did it

[Mel (& Paul)]

and knowing you I wouldnt be surprised if that was true

[The Dogmother]

It was my stern look really, brings everyone to heel, especially when it's delivered over the top of my glasses!

[Rona]

Had to threaten the two delightful granddaughters with smacked behinds this evening and they said that even mummy and daddy hardly ever had to smack them nowadays. When I pointed out that that didn't mean I couldn't still smack them, the little one said 'Oh but you're too lovely to do that nannie'. Smooth talker - wonder what she will be when she grows up!!

[The Dogmother]

My Grandma always used to say 'you're never too big to go over my knee young lady...' put the frights up me, that and being threatened with the copper stick... does anyone else remember having a massive gas powered boiler to wash the whites and napppies in, and a big stick to stir it?

[Paola]

Had to threaten the two delightful granddaughters with smacked behinds this evening and they said that even mummy and daddy hardly ever had to smack them nowadays. When I pointed out that that didn't mean I couldn't still smack them, the little one said 'Oh but you're too lovely to do that nannie'. Smooth talker - wonder what she will be when she grows up!!

 

Weeeeeeeeeee, heeeeeeeeeeee, heeeeeeeeee

[pinkkat]

I work in an opticians, and am constantly amazed at the parents just sitting in the waiting room letting their little horrors inquisitively and enthusiastically run riot. They kick doors, try to climb on glass shelves, wrestle in the doorway...

 

I don't hesitate to say something, like "could you control you child please", and if they don't they get asked to wait outside

 

I don't have kids, but I try to use the threat-and-consequenses with my dogs:

 

"Oz, if you don't lie down on your bed RIGHT NOW.... you'll still be standing up...."

 

"Gypsy, if you don't get off the sofa THIS INSTANT ... you'll still be very comfy andI'll have to sit on the floor..."

 

Hey, it's the tone of voice that counts, right?

[The Dogmother]

Smooth talker - wonder what she will be when she grows up!!

A politician

[Egluntyne]

does anyone else remember having a massive gas powered boiler to wash the whites and napppies in, and a big stick to stir it?

 

Yep! Was threatened with it a few times too.

[The Dogmother]

I can remember the smell of whites boiling in Napisan so clearly; whenever I boil up some whites on the cooker it takes me straight back. I still use Napisan too - the only way to get whites really sparkly.

[chelsea]

driving home from the chicken breeders today we passed through a small village, just going into the village we saw 2 cheeky looking lads sat on a park bench grinning from ear to ear like they were up to something. As we drove past the little lad (aged no more than 5) gave us the finger !!

 

Naughty little so and so!

[feemcg]

I remember my brother getting 'the slipper' and knowing I never wanted it - I never did thank goodness! There's only been a handful of 'skelped bahookies' in this house (SaraJo you must be Scottish ) and I try to 'manage' things with groundings and removal of tv, phones etc.

[Rona]

I There's only been a handful of 'skelped bahookies' in this house (SaraJo you must be Scottish )

 

Sorry but I am Scottish and I just have to correct the spelling. I'm sure it should be 'bahoochie' pronounced with a soft 'ch' as in sassenach! (not 'ch' as in church or 'ck' as in lock)