Guest Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 After silence for the last month ex texted to say he will have James for a couple of hours next week. I said great, asked how he was (I still worry) and told him James has had 2 fillings. I got the following text back "Me and Kelly R great thanks...Planing 2 get married soon" I texted back "Thats great. When are we getting divorced?" Why am I sitting here crying? I threw him out over a year ago, in the hope it would be a wake up call for his drinking, gambling and spending money he didn't have. A few weeks later he hooked up with Kelly, who is remarkably like me, and has struggled with his drinking, gambling and spending money he doesn't have He has abused her worse than me, she has never know the kind caring person he used to be. She wants a family but sees him ignore James for weeks/months on end and frankly she is welcome to him. I'm just upset again and I shouldn't be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chocobo Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 You have every right to be upset. Sending thoughts and hugs to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 I am so sorry, what a horrible situation to be in. To say he is insensitive sending you that text is putting it mildly! I think you should be congratulating yourself on having gotten rid of what sounds like a real rotter. You sound like a lovely,strong & sensible person & I guess the best you can hope for is that his new woman sees the light soon. Please don't be sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xChicken04x Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 I'm so sorry. You dont need somone like that in your life anyway! xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 I'm so sorry. You dont need somone like that in your life anyway! xx ditto. Stay strong, ignore him and focus on you and your son. Its bound to upset you but you can now go on with a better life without him xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Thank you all. He hasn't texted me back, perhaps he didn't like my reply! I'm waiting for him to divorce me, when we split up I got a financial seperation and paid him a lump sum. He can't claim from me financially so there is no need for me to waste further money on a divorce. I can't see me meeting anyone in the near future, I don't socialise just work and be a homebody. Mind you it'll be an interesting wedding if he marries her, she told me before how much her parents hate him to the point where they won't go to her flat if he is there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy C Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 By text! How ********* insensitive! You really are better off without him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Just look to the future Peng....you are too good for him. You are crying for what might have been, not what actually happened. You've got James and your Mum, a lovely home and garden , a job that you enjoy, your hens, the forum....... Be strong. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Thanks, heard no more from him. I just hope I don't bump into him as I now have to go to our old home where my flipping tenants havn't paid the rent! Not really in the right frame of mind for it but I can't afford for them to not pay. Not a word from them either so I'd better check if the place still looks occupied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Maybe you could get an agent to chase up the rent and manage the property for you. It might cost a bit but at least it would relieve you of any anxiety about bumping into him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joojoo Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 I can sympathise with you the whole reason I am on here at this time is because I have just spotted my ex on facebook - I wish I hadn't joined up now - with new girlfirend in tow, despite the fact that he repeatedly tells me he isn't seeing anyone. We split up 12 months (ish) ago and although he didn't put me through what you have have obviously gone through he was incpaable of being faithful. I now feel sick to the stomach after seeing him with someone else!! I just keep telling myself to stop being so stupid and that I'm better off (which I inow I am) but it still hurts when someone has forced you to make a decison because you can't carry on beinbg hurt!! I should have stuck with the omlet forum instead of staying away :0) Hugs coming your way xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 JooJoo, like me you are better off without him. At least my ex was faithfull (although not to his new girlfriend!). Eglutine, I don't want to get an agent, they do take a fair bit in commission and I know too many people who have had agents and still ended up having to chase for the rent themselves! I went round there and dropped a letter in, they are clearly still living there and I think they were home. I then spent an hour with my old neighbors who say the tenants are "no bother, never really see or hear from them" but they do have a lot of friends popping in and out. When I get the rent I will fire them off another letter, the front garden (Block paved) hasn't been weeded and will get damaged if it's not attended to (only needs to be doused in pathclear). The few bushes there havn't been pruned either, I foolishly didn't look at the back garden which I could have done from my neighbors windows. Oh on the subject of the Ex, the neighbors tell me his relationship is very on and off. LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joojoo Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 I think my ex is going through a mix life crisis at 37!! First when we split up he moved about 18 miles away then stsarted seeing MY friend who lives directly opposite me - that lasted 3 months That was lovely - I don't think I set foot out of my house for over a week after finding that one out. Now this new one works at the same company as I do snd is 12 years younger than him. B***dy men!! Just try to keep smiling as neither of them will nver be happy!! I'm exactly the same as you in that I very rarely go out socialising and prefer to stop in with my son and the critters so i'm certainly not gong to meet anyone in the near future, that siad I'm really enoying the house always being tidy and not having to worry about where he is when he doesn't come home!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James H Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 sounds like he dosnt deserve not even your company anyway, I dont actully know you but you seem a nice person and that ************ is very insensitive, don tworry about him, spend more time designing an eglu for penguins, i would love to help! Why NO eglu for penguins - there should be one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 ouch! it's amazing how it still hurts, isn't it - even when you've made the decision and you know you don't want him back. Have a drink and a good cry, remind yourself how much better off you are without him, AND you have the delightful James (big of him to say he'll have him for a couple of hours, hmm?) and you have chickens - bet you wouldn't have had those when you were together! seriously, don't feel bad about feeling sad; it would be odd in a way if after all the years together and the commitment you made, you could suddenly cut off the feelings. It doesn't mean you made the wrong decision or wish he was back. A year isn't long; divorce/separation is like a bereavement, you don't just get over it (and I'm always very sceptical about the people who do seem to bounce straight into another relationship). One day you'll suddenly realise that without wishing him any ill, you genuinely don't care about him, and that's quite liberating! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chocobo Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Here's something I've done to try cheer you up penguin mad: Gina. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin B Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Ahhh Gina that is so sweet!...perfect! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Thanks to all of you and especially Gina - must have taken a while and I love the writing on the egg port! It was a bolt out of the blue to be upset, I barely think about him now and my life without him is just soo much better. I'm back to concentrating my thoughts on starting my new job tomorrow. EEEK I SHOULD BE IN BED! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chocobo Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 it was my pleasure Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Good luck with the new job Peng - I hope you're feeling much more positive this morning? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 I love the Peglu Good luck in your new job karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 GOOD LUCK today Hunny!!!! Love Laura and Seth xxxxxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Sorry to hear you are having a rough time *big squeeze*. I do believe in Karma Keep your chin up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisa33 Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Good luck with your job. I hope things get happier for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
