Jump to content
Ain't Nobody Here

Worried about dad ..... and mum

Recommended Posts

Hopefully you will have some good news very soon. I know how much of a worry they can be. My Dad went very unstead on his feet for a time but it turned out to be the tablets he was on were giving him very low blood pressure - fingers crossed it's a simple remedy for your Dad too.

 

Big hugs xx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have only just seen this Vikki.

Sending my love to you, your Dad and your Mum. You must all be worried stiff.

I am a homecare assistant. If we have a client fall we are told to ring for an ambulance (someone else said the same, I think it was Olly) They are always in pairs, and don`t mind being called out. Your Mum mustn`t try to do it or she will hurt herself (and the same to you as well)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I do hope they can do something to help. My father is only 75 but has has a few falls over the last year - once while he was staying with us, but we were both out at work. He tripped over his walking stick and couldn't get up, but had his mobile phone so called and asked if one of us could go home. He hasn't fallen since (that he admits to).

 

You might find the information on the Help the Aged website useful. They have some downloadable leaflets on advice and exercises to improve balance.

 

Milly

Link to comment
Share on other sites

At least you and your mum know he's in good hands - if he were to have another trip or fall now there's plenty of people on hand to help. Hopefully your Mum can rest easy whilst they get to the bottom of the problem

lots of love to you all

 

Mrs Bertie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for your concern.

 

It's been a tough day. I phoned this morning - he was OK but was possibly being transferred to another hospital to be catheterised. An OT later phoned me at work to ask questions about him & the house but I had to suggest she called mum too so she didn't feel undermined (she gets very angry if she feels I'm "taking over" - I walk on eggshells ( :wink: ) to avoid that :roll: ).

 

I then called to check if he'd be there for visiting and was told mum had phoned and told them "not to tell me anything".

 

She's convinced herself he's got prostate cancer (I asked if they'd actually said that - "no, but we know about these things, Dad and I". I had to pretend I didn't know he was going to the other hospital and just let her carry on thinking that. She asked me if I'd phoned in the morning and what they'd told me (I said just that he was OK and had had breakfast). I don't really see that it's a problem me phoning - I've as much right as her surely :? .

 

Then she got very angry as "Ooops, word censored!"ody had phoned her to say he was back and she couldn't get through. I tried and did - he was back so I took her to see him.

 

He's still very muddled and confused. He can't really manage to feed himself but there was a dried up sandwich (meat even though we'd told them he doesn't like meat) & yogurt lying around half eaten - he wanted to eat so we fed him. "Ooops, word censored!"ody was even within sight.

 

He kept trying to get up so we tried to get someone to put him to bed but that took a while as they were "doing reports". We hung around to check he was ok (there was a sign on the wall saying something like "no attempt must be made to catch a patient who falls" so we wanted to be sure he was in bed). The assistant then told us we didn't need "to hover around mistrusting the staff".

 

We had to leave him but mum is very worried and angry and I'm scared (as is she) she's going to lose her temper tomorrow. I'm not happy either but aggression isn't the answer. She says she's going to take his clean pyjamas in tomorrow morning but hopefully she'll call me and I can take them in (I work 2 minutes from the hospital, luckily).

 

He's such a gentle soul (and his speech isn't great just now) he'll not ask for anything so I'm worried he would just sit in his chair needing a drink or feeling uncomfortable, or even try to get up, and "Ooops, word censored!"ody will notice.

 

Sorry this is such a longwinded post.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

your dad sounds very much like my dad, gentle and quiet and doesn't speak up for himself. Such a worry when they're ill as you do worry that they're getting the care they should when you're not there.

 

Sending you all hugs and best wishes.

 

xxxxxxx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh poor you - doesn't help that your mum is getting in such a state. You should be able to ring and find out, as much as she can - but perhaps you will then have to play games so she doesn't know you've phoned.

 

Sounds like she's convinced herself it's prostate cancer or something serious, and she is probably bracing herself for the worst which is why she's getting so upset. You've got both of them to deal with!

 

Hope your dad will brighten up a bit, I'm afraid what you report about meals being left uneaten etc is all too familiar. You shouldn't have to, but maybe you can take in some food that he will enjoy, so he's getting some nutrition.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Can understand your worry & frustration. It's not easy when the "caring profesions" don't appear to follow through on their titles (short staffing should not be an excuse!).

 

If you're concerned about either the care your dad's getting or you want to check your position re. info without rocking the boat with your mum try speaking to PALS (patient advocacy liaison service) at the hospital. They should be able to give you some advice/support.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Elderly parents are such a worry and I really know what you are going through. I worry over my parents more than I ever did over my children.

 

My parents are in their eighties and are in hospital for different reasons and I live eighty miles away. I have spent hours on the phone talking to doctors, nurses and social workers, and I know the M6 Motorway like the back of my hand.

My father has always been cantankerous which doesn't help.

 

The stress and frustration is terrible. I really sympathise with you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hope things improve today and that you get more info.

 

My dad has had two serious illnesses in the last couple of years and we live 150 miles away and I am their only child. My mum can't drive and they live miles from anywhere. I managed to get her a place to stay in the hospital which has its own rooms for relatives of patients, she stayed there for the whole month that he was in hospital last time which took the pressure off me because the hospital is 40 miles away from their home.

 

You have as much right to info as your mum and it will probably help her if you here everything too because it can be hard to take in all the facts at a time like this

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Better today - sort of. Saw a lovely doctor who said he's got a uti and a slightly enlarged prostate. He had to be taken to the other hospital for the catheter as his physionomy (sp?) made it tricky and a specialist had to do it. He's on antibiotics so once the infection clears up, they'll test (next week) if he can manage without the catheter. They'll assess his mental state & mobility too to see if there's been any other cause for his falling, like a stroke.

 

Mum was a bit better towards me but I am having to play such games to keep her sweet (like moving away when she spoke to the doctor - but listening in :twisted: and asking her constantly what SHE wants to do :roll: ). I'm dropping her there for visiting tomorrow so she can see him on her own.

 

She's not happy he's in there but a move to a private hospital would be too much for him at present. He's still very confused and frail.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.





×
×
  • Create New...