Mrs

[BeckyBoo]

I'm going to be unpopular here, but I'm not a doggy person at all (in fact, not much of a pet person ). Hubby & daughter have both wanted a dog and I have refused. I do have good reason, hubby has always started work at unsociable hours and he loves his bed, so I couldn't see him willingly getting up at 4am to walk a dog before leaving for work, and he and the children need reminding to wipe their own feet when they come in, so I have never, ever trusted them to clean a wet, muddy dog when they come in. I have a very good friend who loves dogs.........and her house constantly smells of dog . Love her massively, dislike the smell of her house . Her dogs are pleasant enough as dogs go, but a bit like other people's babies, great to see and stroke (cuddle) for a while but I'm very happy to hand them back and beat a hasty retreat after a while.

 

So, I know I'm strange but quite honestly if my hubby had ever done anything as big as getting a dog without my consent I reckon it'd have caused a major, major rift...........I personally would find that really hard to forgive. It's a massive commitment after all. You say no university fees for dogs..........no vets bills for children . And babies grow up and become independent, dogs might stop chewing the furniture when they grow out of puppyhood, but they need a lot of training, care and committment for a very long time.

 

I'm not saying don't go for it, you sound like a dog person and you've obviously thought this through and clearly are willing to do all the work necessary, but work on hubby, reach compromises. Just don't do it without him agreeing It is a big committment for both of you, and I really think that you should both make that decision together.

 

Oh, and I'd definitely divorce him had he ever, ever, ever even thought about allowing a dog to share our bed. Sorry, but sharing my bed with a pet is so not my idea of fun.

 

I totally agree. I'm paranoid about our house smelling of dog so have more incense sticks and smellies round the house than a buddhist temple! Or dog isn't allowed upstairs cos she's enormousand never mind damage to her bones it's bad enough trying to keep the cat off me feet all night long.

Is it really your cat h's worried about? My OH had dogs but was determined we weren't going to get one, then it turned out it was because he had been so upset when his died and he didn't want the kids going through it. (plus the time / money / committment thing and what to do with it when we go away)

I wouldn't get a dog without it being a joint agreement (well, I would cos I did, but if I had to do things again I wouldn't) because it can cause real and I mean REAL problems. You know what men are like, can't you find a way to make it his idea? Then he's BOUND to agree

Mrs B

[Tiggy]

my OH loves dogs but we both work full time & it would not be fair on my 2 cats age 6 & 20, but if you are at home all day then it may be OK, my OH said he did not like cats but after all these years he wouldn't be withour old Tiggy who adores him, I bet our OH would be the same in the end once the dog is there

[Aunty e]

My OH was totally against cats, even though I already had two when I met him and they had to live with my mum. Then we got the chooks and I started gently breaking him in. The next stage, after he started cuddling chickens, was to 'borrow' a friend's kitten for Christmas. One week after Sammy left, we had a kitten of our very own. Now we have five pusscats.

 

The only problem is that we do still argue occasionally about them, and it's always my fault because he didn't want them originally. He loves them now (particularly our latest/absolutely the last addition), but I have to admit they are a pain. The insurance is expensive, the food costs a fortune (oh I love having to buy Sensible 33 at £40 for 10 kg), and the house stinks of cat diarrhoea. Hopefully that will ease off when they're all better, but we're going to have to replace the carpet in the living room. I wouldn't be without them now, but I might have reconsidered if I'd realised how bad my house was going to smell. And how much I would spend on air freshener and different kinds of cat litter (btw Dettol Neutrair in the freshmatic dispenser is the best thing EVER). And how much we would argue about cat poop.

[Ziggy]

I have only recently managed to convince my OH about getting a dog, so it's taken 15 years... admittedly, he has now agreed but I have also promised to wait until our youngest child is a little older so I get more time to look after the said dog, and I now talk to everyone I know who has a dog to make sure I really know what I'm letting myself in for... I don't want the dog to become source of tension in the family, and I'm happy to agree with OH's condition that the dog should not be allowed in the sitting room or upstairs, though I also got him to agree the dog would be allowed in the conservatory and kitchen areas, otherwise well there's not much point in me getting the dog in the first place...

We have five cats, and OH was always happy to have cats (2 was more his idea, 5 he hadn't quite imagined), and they are allowed everywhere except upstairs.

I'm all in favour of compromises, but I think if someone really has something against the idea of a particular animal, then caution should prevail... OH wasn't against a dog as such, more against a dog in the sitting room, or concerned about the demands of a dog... if he had been totally against dogs themselves I wouldn't have persevered all this time trying to convince him... If practical reasons for not wanting a dog can be reasonably sorted though, it's worth a try...

[Paola]

My dog is not allowed upstairs or on the furniture. She is very good and only sneaks upstairs to sleep at the top of the stairs on firework night, which we do not mind.

 

My SIL has always let her boxer sleep on the bed since she was a puppy but has since had to buy a bigger bed because they could not all fit now she is fully grown

[Olly]

I do think there's a risk that if you go against your OH's wishes, then (as others have mentioned) anything that goes wrong will be a cause of contention ... "YOUR dog has just (insert words)".

 

This isn't like buying new furniture or even a new car - the dog is going to be with you for years, and if he feels so strongly about it, then you are taking a big risk. Maybe you could use the Easter weekend to explore his reasons a bit more - like others on here, perhaps he doesn't want the work, doesn't want to risk the heartbreak (for you as well as him) when it gets old and dies, or has other concerns that you could address.

 

You say that you're lonely sometimes, is that because your OH works away or something? Dogs can be good company, but you could still have a dog and feel lonely - it may not be the complete answer to that problem.

 

It's a big strain to put on your relationship if he is really strongly opposed to having one.

[BarbaraJ]

Well i'm another person who is a bit indifferent to dogs, love other peoples and the kids would love one but i childmind and the thought of looking after a puppy while working at home with babies would not be on. Its bad enough keeping an eye out for a grumpy cat. We have 2 cats ours and DD's (21) who will leave with her when she leaves home. Hubby will feed them but hes not really interested in pets. I know if we got a dog he wouldnt do anything for it and the hair would drive me nuts, if he brought one home (which he wouldn't) he would be in big big trouble. They are alot of work and commitment!

[The Dogmother]

I agree with Olly here.

 

I'd love another dog (my old lurcher dies 4 years ago), but I have to work full time and as a single parent, It's just not practical for me.

 

Being a dog owner is as much of a long term commitment as having children, although they never quite get the hang of potty training Pluss, you need to be prepared to get up on a cold, sleety morning in the dark to walk the dog, then wash its feet when you get back.

[Tessa the Duchess]

They are alot of work and commitment!

 

A dog is certainly a commitment. They need a good walk at least once a day,

and you have to put things in place if you want to go away on holiday. Personally I have never found a dog a lot of work. I am obsessed that any dog that I have owned is properly trained and obedient, sit, stay, leave, come etc., the training can be hard work, but very enjoyable as well. Apart from de-dog pooing the garden, and hoovering up hair ALL the time, I think owning a dog has been one of the greatest pleasures of my life

 

Tessa

[BarbaraJ]

Oh yes and poo in the garden couldn't cope with that chicken poo is nice smelling in comparison.

I understand if its well trained it wouldn't be hard but the training initally is hard work and my heart wouldnt be in it as i'm just too busy, i've told the kids when they get their own houses they can have dogs. Cats are so much more independant.

[Eyren]

I have to admit that one of the bones of contention between myself and my ex was that he refused to have cats, allegedly because of his asthma - though his family had had cats before, and after we split up he moved in with an owner of three cats!!! What the real issue was, I never found out...

 

My DH has occasionally said he would like a dog, but he's the one who works long and erratic hours, and I'm somewhat indifferent towards dogs, so we have an understanding that it's definitely a "not right now" thing. I certainly wouldn't let a dog sleep on the bed. Yuk!

 

That said, our two Burmese cats like to sleep under the duvet with us (they are indoor cats and keep themselves very clean, but feel the cold because of their short fur)

[pickled egg]

Hmm, I guess this is a tricky one. One thing to consider is the differences of different breeds (if that makes sense). I absolutely adore our 3 (3!), but they are very clean (in that they have short fur, not that they like hoovering - I wish...), quite lazy, and don't bark much. I have a lot of friends with dogs and I couldn't be doing with the ones that are overly furry and moult everywhere, drool a lot, bark a lot, dig a lot or require tons of excercise. I really think you ( I mean 'one') needs to think about this a lot more than many people think, and its easy to make assumptions about certain breeds without knowing the truth. For instance many people think small dogs are less trouble than big dogs but in my experience thats not necessarily so - some terriers for example can be yappy, manic, ankle biters, wheras greyhounds (Ok - I am biased) contrary to popular belief, need only a small amount of excercise and are very laid back and quiet. Likewise, labradors have got a great personality and make fantastic family pets, but, to be kept fit they need A LOT of excercise. Collies likewise are brilliant if you have the time but thet are far too bright to be left to their own devices. Crossbreeds can be fab - I think that they are just harder to pigeonhole.

Sorry, realise I have been wittering I guess what I'm trying to say is that there will be a dog for your lifestyle so try to find out what suits you and convince your OH on those grounds. Good luck and I hope you get one

[BeckyBoo]

For instance many people think small dogs are less trouble than big dogs but in my experience thats not necessarily so - quote]

 

Quite agree - when I went to see the parents of our pup, they'd never seen me before, the dad stood up (all 14 stone of him! ) and gave one great big deep "WOOF", the mum (a mere 9 stone) raised her head, then because the owner came over to talk to me they both just settled down again, and I thought, that's the dawg for me! Chilled, not aggressive, laid back and 8 months on Delilah is just that. She's a big dog, weighs 8 stone at 8 months old but she hasn't got an aggressive bone in her body, puts up with any amount from little boy, she's submissive to anything that has a go at her (even the three daschunds that we come across fairly regularly - they're a bit snappy and big D doesn't like it so she hit the floor ) She has 45 mins exercise and that's her done! You can't get her out again she'll be asleep all day. The downside is that she does drool when she's had a drink (or if you leave her in the car then you have to check the steering wheel for slobber before you drive off as she likes to sit in the front seat whilst she's waiting for you to come back, I learned that the hard, and sticky, way) and then there's the poo. Did I mention that she weighs 8 stone? So that's person sized then. And that's exactly what comes out the other end. Person sized poo! Those little nappy sack things you get in Pets at Home don't cut it at all.

Our neighbour bought a spaniel pup about two months after we got Lilah and it's absolutely manic. Never sits still, He's beautiful to look at but at 6 1/2 months he's still weeing and pooing all round the house and he's terrified of absolutely everything. Now you see I like dogs but I couldn't have a dog like that, it would do my head in. We're manic in this house but chilled at the same time.

 

I'm sorry, what is it about animal threads that make you witter on aimlessly, page after page with rubbish "Ooops, word censored!"ody else is interested in? Still I've enjoyed meself Back to you original thread I think......sorry, I'll get me coat!

 

Mrs B

[Chicken Licken]

Go gently and you may get there in the end.

 

A dog can be hard work. Rosie my collie cross rescue dog is now 12. She has always slept in the bedroom (but not on the bed) and suddenly took to the furniture aged 10, until then she was not interested or allowed.

 

Now she is an elderly lady she is harder work than when she was a puppy. She has been poorly recently and had me up about 4 or 5 times a night to go in the garden for about the last 4 months She loves to walk and needs at least 2 a day. Nowadays they are shorter but in her youth a couple of hours a day. She now settles for a short walk and a play with her treats ball. Although she has been known to whine for about 2 hours in the evening for no apparent reason!!!

 

I love her dearly and wouldn't be without her, dogs are nowhere near as independent as a cat and a massive committment. I reckon Rosie will live to be a truly grumpy old lady, she has a good few years in her yet!

[nicki9]

We're having the dog conversation in our house at the moment. Our border collie is 10 and it is probably our last chance to get another dog, before she is too old to cope.

I've been looking at rescue dogs and showing DH, who started off indifferent, and then last week said, "look - is this going to be like the chickens, shall I give up now and assume we're getting one?" I replied "nooo, not unless you really like it" We're now sort of looking and he's sort of come round - I'll just make him think he's chosen it! Watch this space!

[chelsea]

 

I'm sorry, what is it about animal threads that make you witter on aimlessly, page after page with rubbish "Ooops, word censored!"ody else is interested in? Still I've enjoyed meself Back to you original thread I think......sorry, I'll get me coat!

 

Mrs B

 

You witter on all you like! your posts really make me

 

person sized poo

 

I LOVE my dog! she comes before hubby (and he knows it )

[Egluntyne]

 

Quite agree - when I went to see the parents of our pup, they'd never seen me before, the dad stood up (all 14 stone of him! ) and gave one great big deep "WOOF", the mum (a mere 9 stone) raised her head, then because the owner came over to talk to me they both just settled down again, and I thought, that's the dawg for me! Chilled, not aggressive, laid back and 8 months on Delilah is just that. She's a big dog, weighs 8 stone at 8 months old but she hasn't got an aggressive bone in her body, puts up with any amount from little boy, she's submissive to anything that has a go at her (even the three daschunds that we come across fairly regularly - they're a bit snappy and big D doesn't like it so she hit the floor ) She has 45 mins exercise and that's her done! You can't get her out again she'll be asleep all day. The downside is that she does drool when she's had a drink (or if you leave her in the car then you have to check the steering wheel for slobber before you drive off as she likes to sit in the front seat whilst she's waiting for you to come back, I learned that the hard, and sticky, way) and then there's the poo. Did I mention that she weighs 8 stone? So that's person sized then. And that's exactly what comes out the other end. Person sized poo! Those little nappy sack things you get in Pets at Home don't cut it at all.

Our neighbour bought a spaniel pup about two months after we got Lilah and it's absolutely manic. Never sits still, He's beautiful to look at but at 6 1/2 months he's still weeing and pooing all round the house and he's terrified of absolutely everything. Now you see I like dogs but I couldn't have a dog like that, it would do my head in. We're manic in this house but chilled at the same time.

 

I'm sorry, what is it about animal threads that make you witter on aimlessly, page after page with rubbish "Ooops, word censored!"ody else is interested in? Still I've enjoyed meself Back to you original thread I think......sorry, I'll get me coat!

 

Mrs B

 

If ever I need something to convince me that I don't want or need a dog......I shall come back and read this post. Thanks Mrs B.

[Yorkshire Pudding]

My youngest would LOVE a dog but we can't do it as we are out far too much to give it the time it would need.

 

Grandad (who is the Fount Of All Knowledge) has persuaded him that it isn't such a good idea by watching owners picking up dog poo in the park.

Now when Louis sees a really big (Delilah-sized) dog, he immediately says 'I bet that does big poos, Grandad!'.

 

 

A local lady has a Bull Mastiff that must weigh 14 stone if its an ounce. Soft as butter, but I wouldn't want to deal with it's leavings!

[Aunty e]

And as if he knew I'd been talking about this, I just got a phone call along the lines of "Your kitten just pooed on the cushion", "I didn't sign up for this"

 

etc

etc

etc

 

 

The poor thing has had e-coli, you think he could give him a break. he's really not got control at the moment. If the day gets nicer, I'll suggest he puts him outside for a bit.

[craftyhunnypie]

I have owned & done that many things for dogs..I think I know the score!

Poo, vets bills, walking, medical attention, barking at unsociable hours, peeing up furniture (male dogs), chewing table legs etc etc. But then there is the love, the warmth, the entertainment they give you....nothing is ever more thankful for being looked after than a dog!

How come a lot of you say about dog smells in your house, dog hair & dirty dogs? We (when we were children) once had 7 dogs! All little tiny doggies - but, no smell, you have a hoover to get the dog hair up with, you bath them, scoop up poop so you don't tread in it...I just don't see the problem! I mean don't you do the same for a baby? ...Let it be sick on you (gross), let it poo it's nappy & get it all up it's backside, not to mention the diorrhea! Little boys will pee on you, when changing their nappy! Babies grab hold of your hair & pull like hell. You still have to bath them etc etc.

The answer to the hoovering...could be a roomba!

 

Emma.x

[Aunty e]

I keep telling Duncan that when we have kids they will probably poo on him too. I'm praying for projectile diarrhoea.

[bronze]

The answer to the hoovering...could be a roomba!

 

Emma.x

 

 

now she wants a dog and a roomba