Hellcat Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 This morning Lauren and the hub were verbalising to each other, and madam was a bit cheeky. So idiot flicks the item of babys clothing he was holding at her, while laughing and telling her not to be cheeky. It was a pair of dungarees with plastic buttons. these left 4 lovely welts across her thigh. Idiot was absolutely mortified (and rightly so, this is not a mens locker room!!) I was doing the school run and had to explain these marks to her teacher, who clearly looked a bit sceptical and asked L what had happened. She said 'Dad told me to shut up and hit me with Ethans dungareees'. True in essence but not actually how it happened! Now I think the school think we are child beaters! I keep sitting here thinking that Social Services will be on the doorstep, then he'll get arrested, the children will be taken away.... WHY ME!!! Muppet has gone out with tail between legs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Oh! Dear! Helen - couldn't help laughing. I hope the teacher will see past the bald statement and not get too officious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Ouch! I hope that OH is suitably mortified Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 We had a similar thing, Helen. My eldest has Asperger Syndrome and when he was younger, his classic response to anything he didn't want to hear was to wrap his hands round his head and hug it. When he did this during a special needs meeting, the idiot headmaster decided that this was Tom's reaction to being hit by us! Fortunately the child psychologist knew the real reason for him hiding his head and put the twit in his place but for a moment, I felt like a child abuser and it's not a nice feeling, is it. I'm sure your teacher will understand your explanation. They aren't all as stupid as our ex-headmaster! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellcat Posted May 19, 2006 Author Share Posted May 19, 2006 He has gone out to buy her a 'little something' while doing the diy shops. Best he gets me something too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 He has gone out to buy her a 'little something' while doing the diy shops. a nice big belt?? Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 You rotter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clare* Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Ben always looks battered and bruised to me. He plays football and is generally an outdoors boy. His legs are covered in bruises. Yesterday he came home with marks on his neck where they were playing some pinching game Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popcorn Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 When I was about 10, I had to go to A&E. Dad had picked me up my by arm and leg and whizzed me round, twisting my arm. The Doctor took me into a room by myself and asked me what my Dad had really done to me. I remember being totally confused as to what he meant. There's a fine line isn't there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheilaz Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Yes, that's a good example Gina, & I know just what you mean Helen! I've never had half so much trouble with the children s"Ooops, word censored!"ping as I have with OH just going to far in a game/tease/joke. Then, it's me that is stuck in the middle sorting it out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellcat Posted May 19, 2006 Author Share Posted May 19, 2006 He has gone out to buy her a 'little something' while doing the diy shops. a nice big belt?? Phil I'll tell him that one when he gets back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 When Rosie was learning to walk, she had one week where she was always bumping her head when she fell down - the health visitor gave me a real grilling about it. I suppose that we should be grateful that some people are vigiliant in a time when we are constantly hearing about the social services missing obvious signs of abuse - still, it's not nice when it happens to you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 that's just what I was going to say Claret - but then decided not to in case this light-hearted thread turned into something else.. (I'm a chicken!) but it's true.. the social services are lambasted when they look for evidence of abuse and they are lambasted when something goes wrong and they have not looked hard enough... they're not allowed to look ("how dare they invade my privacy and make assumptions about me") - and at the same time they should be looking harder... ("it was obvious - why didn't they do something about it?") what we really want is for the social service and the "authorities" to keep an eye on "other people" - not on "us" - that's where we usually draw the line . what a wonderful gift hindsight is.. Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I often make the same cry Helen - "why is this my problem?" My missus regularly provokes arguments - sometimes blazing ones - with our middle son. I can see it coming - it just takes the wrong word at the wrong time and it sets him off - and she finds that "word" quite often!! she protests that he shouldn't respond so cheekily (which he shouldn't) and why don't I back her up (which I try to) - but to suggest that she might have said the same thing slightly differently and not provoked the blazing row in the first place sounds (to her) like siding with my son (why do I have to pick!!) anyway - she stomps off, and so does he - and it is my job to go and persuade him to apologise... I then have to spend half an hour with middle son persuading him to come down and apologise (and he is quite stubborn - no idea where he gets that from!!) when actually I agree with some of the grievance that he has - but disagree with the way he responded to it.. his response is (almost always) - well she has to apologise first (which - of course - is out of the question...) etc... and I end up asking just the same as you.. WHY IS IT ME WHO HAS TO SORT THIS OUT???? Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Its a horrible situation for any innocent & well meaning parent to be in. Social Services need only make one mistake,overlook one case of abuse & a real tradegy could happen. I feel for you.Its awful to be accused of something you have not done, especially something as dreadful as child abuse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 That's true Phil, at the time I was offended and mortitfied as Helen and the others must have been. In hindsight (as we have said) we should be grateful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley-Jean Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I'm sure my eldest son was put on an "at risk" register at one time. He was about 10 months old and had some cute little baby teeth. We were given one of those baby walker seats (back in the mid 70's they only had four legs). Two days running he tipped it over and landed on his face knocking out a tooth (his baby bottom ones) so two days running he was in A&E oozing blood, we were questioned very closely, health visitor popped round to see us Baby walker went in the bin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I remember once screaming at my two "get up those stairs before I kill you" - (well you do don't you? It's not just me is it? ) Next thing I knew, my auntie was at the front door and asking if the children were OK. They were quite happily playing. My neighbour had heard me and phoned my auntie - thank goodness she knew the family or she may well have phoned Social Services Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 When I was a child you regularly got shouted at along the lines of if you don't stop crying I'll give you something to cry about It was just a threat to shut up a whingy child but can you imagine what would happen now if you said that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 That's true Lesley and Sheila - I remember getting both those threats when I was little Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieP Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Helen, as a teacher, I often hear stories of "my mum hit me, my dad dropped me on my head" etc. 95 %of the time we think , "serves you right you little beast" or "oh dear, never mind......" The worst that could happen is that the headteacher would write it down on a piece of paper and put in in one of her/his files in their office. There it will sit, seen by "Ooops, word censored!"ody. It will sit there all alone for your child's school career (at that school) and then be shredded. If we have a child who constantly comes to school with bruises and bumps and tales, then that's sometimes different. Trust me, "Ooops, word censored!"ody will be knocking on your door tonight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley-Jean Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I would sometimes give my children (when they were about 14-15 not babies) a little flick with the back of my hand. and they would say "what's that for" I'd say "It's for being good. Imagine what you'd get if you were bad". Their reply was usually "Doh Mum " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I would sometimes give my children (when they were about 14-15 not babies) a little flick with the back of my hand. and they would say "what's that for" I'd say "It's for being good. Imagine what you'd get if you were bad". Their reply was usually "Doh Mum " I like that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Managing Director Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I'm sure teachers are trained to look for the signs of child abuse and a child that cheerfully says 'daddy hit me with my brothers dungarees' isn't the one they're going to worry about, we had a couple of lectures on picking up the signs of child abuse and it is the ones who don't say anything that you need to look out for I could have cheerfully strangled the junior assistant today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
