Patridge bantam chicken poorly foot?

[Helen&Lee]

Well it's almost a story of epic proportions but I will try and make it short - ish

 

Seven years ago we came back to Blighty from working in the Middle East.

At the same time, we found out OH's mother was ill and within a week (after we paid for her to have a scan privately) she was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma.

 

They had their own business, which OH had lent them a substantial amount of money to set up just six months before, his father was incapable of running it, so we decided to step in. ( they would have lost their house if not)

 

We modernised the business, made huge changes, (got it making a profit for a start!) and have basically ran the business for them - they should never have tried to work for themselves - they really hadn't a clue.

 

Lots of arguments though along the way, Oh is a perfectionist in what he does and that in part gave the business a good reputation - but his parents couldn't grasp that...

 

Anyway, things came to a head and we walked away from it at the end of July. His parents haven't tried to talk to him - but then again his dad was too busy hurling comments like ' if your mum gets ill again it's all your fault' likewise ' if this business goes under it's all your fault'

 

This from his mum and dad - who still haven't paid him the money back.

 

Anyway, we have since been job hunting, OH previously worked as a project manager for an audio visual company and obviously with technology moving fast 7 years out is a long time... last week the company he worked for in Dubai threw him what was for us a lifeline and offered a month's freelance work - which the next day changed to 3 months

He flew out last night and I'll not see him again until Christmas Eve.

 

So, I'm a little wobbly today, going to work together etc. for 7 years makes it really strange without him...

[purple hen]

Oh Helen, i'm not surprised you are feeling wobbly after having all that to deal with . Sending big omlet virtual hugs.

[baby bears mum]

Ain't families odd!!!!!

 

Poor old you. I recommend a large bottle of wine fairly regularly and a visit to Ann Summers (or the like) for his return.

 

In the meantime we're here.

 

Take care.

 

x

[Egluntyne]

I'm not surprised you are feeling wobbly. Families eh? Who'd have them?

 

Come on the forum when you need a chat...we'll be your surrogate family till he gets back.

 

Chin up.

[chickencam]

((HUGS))

 

I totally understand my OH and I spend as much time together as possible and I would be lost without him.

 

Just look forward to a good Christmas and take control of that remote control until then

[jackiepoppies]

I'm not surprised you're feeling wobbly....I'd be reeling

 

Try not to bemoan the past and look forward to the future.

 

I doubt the parents-in-law will pay you back, but at least you are in charge of your lives now so don't let them make you feel guilty. You have done your best.

 

[ps...3 months will fly by ] and what a Christmas pressie

 

Jackiex

[Paola]

Come on the forum when you need a chat...we'll be your surrogate family till he gets back.

 

Chin up.

 

Ditto Something tells me that you are going to have a fantastic christmas

[theherd123]

Sounds like the last few months & weeks have been a bit of a rollercoaster ride for you so im not surprised you feel wobbly!

 

Big hugs and you know what? Christmas aint that far away.

[hillfamily]

Feel for you hun............sending big (((gap filling hugs))) xx

[Seagazer]

As others have said no wonder you're feeling wobbly. Hopefully the time will go by very quickly what with the run up to Christmas. My OH and I always say we would end up killing each other if we worked together. We have to get used to my hubby being home all week, previously he worked away during the week - that is going to be a challenge

 

I'm sorry his parents have been so horrible about the business. It sounds like it could have an impact on the business which is not good for anybody in the end.

 

Make frequent visits to the forum, you can usually guarantee a laugh, some wisdom and help.

[Joojoo]

Hope the next 3 months pass very quickly and are uneventful where the in laws are concerned. Have you thought about a surprise visit to Dubai to see him? Not sure how much the flights are but if you aren't working, perhaps a week away would do you the world of good after the last few months

[jlo]

Chin up and here's hoping for a trip to Dubai to see OH and perhaps a little retail therapy??

 

It will be really strange without him and I can't offer any advice at all but hope that the time passes quickly.

[Ms Marple]

Families!!!!!

It will fly. Keep busy, I take it you are still working over here. perhaps a little trip over there and then wow Christmas

[Ain't Nobody Here]

You poor thing . That's a blow on top of your inlaws' behaviour . As others have said though, Christmas isn't that far away and you can keep in touch by computer - can you set up a webcam or something?

[Cate in NZ]

Oh, wow, what a difficult situation. I do hope that OHs family calm down and begin to recognise how important your help was for their business. It might be nice if they could actually keep it running successfully and pay you back .

I know what it's like to be separated for 3 months though, my hubby moved out here to NZ in February but the children and I weren't able to join him until June, and visits were out of the question. We survived though and the reunion was fabulous...but there's no denying that the time apart was tough .

I found that getting out and spending time with friends helped and I signed myself up for a couple of exercise classes to fill my time and to help me have some fun, adult company, and of course the forum is a lifeline when you're feeling bored and lonely.

Big hugs, it's tough, but keep busy, use Skype if you can, or some of the instant messaging sites, ideally with a webcam, and I promise that the time will pass. At times I couldn't imagine that I'd ever actually get here, but here I am

[Karen & co.]

Sending lots of hugs and hope time passes quickly for you. You'll be so prepared for this Christmas you could hire yourself out to help everyone else get ready too

 

Karen x

[Helen&Lee]

Thanks all for your very kind words.

 

I have spent the day cleaning the house - and telling the dogs off, they used to come into work with us and are wondering where OH is - barking at the slightest noise and sitting in the conservatory on lookout.

 

The hours we worked were very long and to a large extent we didn't have much of a life outside work - we realise that now and are both very glad that we finally took control of our lives - even though it's ended a little bitterly.

 

We can only move forward now and Lee working in Dubai will most likely open alot of doors for him. It will also do wonders to top up our bank balance. (Phew!)

 

I have some work in a call centre for the run up to Christmas starting in a few weeks - not what I wanted but we never realised just how long all these interview processes take!

 

I'm trying to give the idea of going out to Dubai a miss as I think it will make it harder for me. Lee however, has already had lots of people asking when I'm coming out.

 

The company he's working for have put him in charge of a couple of project managers and technicians at a new hotel thats opening out there called the Atlantis - the pictures I've seen on the 'net are jaw dropping Kylie Minogue is doing an opening set there on the 20th Nov so OH is going to be pretty busy - they will do the stage, lighting, sound, screens etc.

 

Finally, I had to go into what was work yesterday to drop off a printer. They are selling the business! Finally they have realised that they can't manage it, its a great pity they didn't EVER listen to me when I was trying to keep the peace between them all.

As I was going, MIL said 'and if you need anything you know where we are - and I mean that'

It took me great dignity not to say anything - Lee's brother had obviously told them he was going but they hadn't tried to talk to him before he went.

 

Ahh well, lesson learned the hard way and all that.........

[Lesley]

That certainly was a hard learned lesson Helen - but you sound as if you are both much more in control of your lives now

 

Not long to Christmas

[Couperwife]

oh helen, what a rubbish time

 

virtual hugs being sent from the coupercastle

 

you know where we all are if you need a bit of moral support - and christmas is only weeks away.

 

(((hugs)))

 

cathy

x

[redhotchick]

I have some work in a call centre for the run up to Christmas starting in a few weeks - not what I wanted but we never realised just how long all these interview processes take!

I'd hate to be in the job market now. I have been helping a friend with applications. It is so difficult. She applied for one company, filled in the psychometric test honestly and was rejected. We sat down and completed it together, the answers we put were not reflective of her great personality, organisational and interpersonal skills, and yet, this time she was accepted! Madness. Even now she has to wait for a vacancy and still go for an interview. This is for a job on a checkout. I never thought it would be so difficult, and as you say, take so long.

Good advice above, to book into some exercise classes.

Let us know how you are doing, or just come on the forum and have a chat.

[Lisa]

Helen

 

The time will seem to be endless to start with but once you are in a routine it will fly. When our kids were 3 and 1 we were given 2 weeks notice and then my DH was sent away to the middle east for 15 months . I lived nowhere near family but friends rally round. Keep smiling and if you want a chat anytime you know where we are.

 

lots of

[Minnie the Moocher]

I recommend a large bottle of wine fairly regularly and a visit to Ann Summers (or the like) for his return.

 

I recommend a visit now and another for his return!

 

I worked with my OH for 14 years. When I left to have the children it was really hard to come to terms with. I felt doubly isolated with a new baby (and no instructions!), but we still have a very strong and happy relationship and the feeling of loss passed quickly.

 

It will take some getting used to, but you sound up to the job to me.