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Sex education at school.

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I'll start :lol:

When we were in Year 6 we got a bit, over a few weeks, boys and girls separately.

The moving on into secondary school (all boys school), in Year 7 S.E. was one of the topics in Science, then it came back up in Years 10 & 11 and they told us pretty much everything we needed to know, we got to ask questions etc.

There were no embarassing videos we had to sit and watch :roll: . The teacher was our Head of Year (female) who we all got on well with and respected, so there wasn't an awkward silence while we all just sat and listened. We sat around one big desk in a circle and just had a chat basically, while she corrected everything :lol:

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I agree Laura, 15 is a bit late!

I thought sex ed had improved since my days at school, but obviously not!

However, I would never rely on the school to teach my children about such an important thing, so I've always tried to answer any questions my boys have as honestly as possible, and at a level appropriate for their age.

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My son is now in Yr7 & they had a sex ed session in their last term at pre-prep/primary. They watched a video, which the parents had been offered the opportunity to watch - and most declined! The fact that to begin with we'd been given the wrong blasted tapes & discs to watch (very 1970/1980s - cringemaking with spaceman/crash helmetted sperm creatures battling their way through some kind of reinforced wall & a "perfect" 2 parent, 1 son, 1 daughter family dancing through a "perfect" meal at McDonald's!! :vom: Not at all 21st Century!!) & the correct ones turned up the evening before they were to be shown at 1st lesson after lunch the next day didn't help the cause..... :evil:

 

From what I actually had a chance to see, it was very much more up-to-date (early sugababes were the soundtrack I think! ) & matter of fact without being too explicit. DS certainly didn't seem to have too extreme a reaction to it (as in there was no "Oh mum it was soooo embarrassing" etc), they also had the little NHS booklets about changes in boys and girls. I believe a nurse came in from outside the school and spoke to them en masse, then they split off to a male & female teacher, who were their form teachers so very familiar & well-liked, for a question & answer session.

 

There has always been an "ask & it shall be answered in an honest but age appropriate way" attitude at home (even if it means choking on your dinner on odd occasions :lol::wink: ), which I think is the way forward - I can only assume that these girls did not have this at home? At what point did it become merely the domain of the schools to impart such important & sensitive information to the kids? :think::eh: ( I feel a soap-box moment coming on here, so I'll step carefully off, & go & make my cuppa!!! :whistle: )

 

Maybe this waffle is not much help, but the info is passed on in schools in some areas, we are W Sussex, as a lot of my friends have been invited to view videos, and also many have to give permission for the children to be allowed to watch it.

 

Sha x

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There has always been an "ask & it shall be answered in an honest but age appropriate way" attitude at home (even if it means choking on your dinner on odd occasions :lol::wink: ), which I think is the way forward - I can only assume that these girls did not have this at home? At what point did it become merely the domain of the schools to impart such important & sensitive information to the kids? :think::eh: ( I feel a soap-box moment coming on here, so I'll step carefully off, & go & make my cuppa!!! :whistle: )

 

 

Amen to all of that.

 

Also....the onus is upon the parents to know where their children are and who they are mixing with.

 

Vast generalisation coming up........15 and 16 year olds in the main still think they are invincible, but as they at the same at the same time hormonal and experimental, it can have sometimes catastrophic consequences.

 

Also the imagery and roles models they are bombarded with from every direction don't appear to be helping matters.

 

Good for you Scrambled_ for taking a sensible view.

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my 11 year old had sex education in Y6, his final year at primary school. I think his secondary school covers it from Y7, as we've had forms giving us the opportunity to opt out. Like the other posters above, we talk to our boys when the subject arises. I think presently schools have the option not to cover it at all, which sounds like your school Laura.

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My girls hadasome sex education at Primary school, & a fair bit in their first years at secondary school too.

 

On top of that they have had SE/relationships CPHE days, which hav involved putting a condom on a banana & so forth.I am resonably happy with their education, but they know I am always available to talk too & they also know that I would rather they were safe than sorry, so I do have condoms in the house should they need them (hopefully no for a while yet)

 

They have also watched the recent Sex Education shows on TV,which have proved very useful.

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My lot are quite young so I've started them on relationship education. I actually think the emphasis is always in the wrong place.

I just answer any factual questions they ask as they come up.

 

To be honest I think the kind of people who get pregnant so young will tend be the ones who will get pregnant at that age however much we educate them.

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I think you're right there Bron.

 

My girl is Y3 so nothing at school yet. We had planned to do 'the talk' at 8 but we have had to bring it forward - we have bought some books to read with her and are waiting for some literature from the school nurse and away we go. I don't think its a good idea to leave these matters to the school anyway. Hopefully, starting early means she will learn what we want her to learn before the misinformation starts to flow from her friends. Fingers crossed, if we get it right, she will not be worried about coming to us if she needs to ask anything over the next few years (and beyond).

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We've always had the discussions as and when needed and we're quite open about a lot of things. We try and do it in a humourous way so "Ooops, word censored!"ody gets embarrassed.

 

When my ES went on holiday with his friends earlier this year I think my words were 'if you don't have protection don't use it'. He's a pretty sensible lad. Actually he's just received a letter from the NHS they are doing a chlamydia test on 18-24 year olds. He thinks its a good idea so hopefully will get tested (not that he's worried about having it).

 

My YS has already had a bit of sex education and we will help him as we go along.

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My DD had some at school in Yr 5 and will have some again in Yr 6. It was a programme that lasts 2 weeks and involved a lot about the relationship side and in Yr 6 will have a bit more information. The teachers seem to be handling it well. they can ask questions by writing them on a piece of paper and the teacher reads them out and answers them. A lot in my daughters class were embarrassed and preferred this way. My DD learnt about the basics at about 8 because my neice became pregnant and wanted to know how could she have a baby when she wasn't married! I bought a book and we looked at it together and chatted about it.

15/16 is way too late!

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This has got me thinking :think: My DD1 is in year 5, not sure when we will have "the talk". However we were in a loo the other week (me and three kids :roll: as you do :lol: ) and asked about the bin that was in there, so I explained. The long and short of it is that she does not want to be a woman :lol: Poor thing :lol:

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My DD is in year 5 (age 9) they gave them their first proper sex education class the beginning of this year, with all the proper names etc :oops: + :lol: all round! my friends little boy came home saying girls have 'chinas' hehe.

 

But the school did give them a simple talk about it last year when they were 7 and 8, things like body changes and feelings etc, as far as i know they have regular classes on these things or i thought they did.... i shall ask my daughter at some point.

 

Yes we discuss things like boys and feelings etc, and if she asks a question i do my best to answer it for her. Always have but then thats only because sex and puberty were NEVER talked about in our house when i was a child. Times are very different now and i wish to educate my child. I have also talked to her dad and said if she asks him when she is at his house then he should try and talk to her about it...but being brought up in a different generation he feels uncomfortable which is fine, but i want her to know that she can talk to either of us about anything and not feel embarrised etc.

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I think schools are hampered by the vastly different expectations of parents. I've started telling mine about whatever they want to know as soon as they ask - which was pre-school and I've added to the content as they have been able to understand. Mine learnt quite a bit when they asked me what a tampon was. I opened one up and held it under a tap and said that each month a woman's body makes a special baby home. If it is needed the baby grows inside of it and it comes out after the baby is born. If it is not needed then it comes out as blood each month and the tampon soaks it up so it's not messy. That got us into all kinds of questions quite naturally. I've never believed in separating sex education from the rest of education. If they ask a question then they get an honest answer - whatever age they are - there is no reason why they shouldn't.

I didn't have much of a clue when I was growing up and it's nice to see that my kids are the ones that are answering their friends questions and thankfully not passing on the nonsense that still goes around because people are too timid to talk about sex with the children in the same way that they would talk about anything else. The only thing my kids have had to learn is that not everyone has the same open attitude. My son once noticed someone was going to the loo a lot and said something like "is it that time when you need to bleed out your baby home?" and to another "how are you sure that you won't have any more children? has one of you had an operation or do you use other things?" etc!

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When my ES went on holiday with his friends earlier this year I think my words were 'if you don't have protection don't use it'. .

 

 

Maybe not the best phrasing though I know what you mean :lol:

 

 

The only thing my kids have had to learn is that not everyone has the same open attitude. My son once noticed someone was going to the loo a lot and said something like "is it that time when you need to bleed out your baby home?" and to another "how are you sure that you won't have any more children? has one of you had an operation or do you use other things?" etc!

 

I have to stop my children saying similar things. The latter especially could be very hurtful I'm hoping as they get older they learn whats tactful

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This topic interests me greatly. I seem to remember (being of rapidly advancing years) recieving virtually no sex ed at school, beyond an o level biology class on human reproduction in which we all watched a film. I seem to remember keeping my (splayed) fingers in front of my face throughout the whole embarrassing experience. But I can't remember any of my school friends getting pregnant as teenagers.....although maybe it was hushed up to the point that I genuinely didn't know about it.

Currently I have a job which involoves school nursing responsibilities. We do talks in school, and the young people seem scarily clued up. They certainly come out with terminology that I dont understand :oops: . Yet I'm getting seriously bored of doing pregnancy tests, and screening for sexually transmitted infections for teenagers, many of whom are younger than my own children, and I confirmed a pregnancy in a 13 year old about a month ago :shock: .

I'm, quite genuinely, confused. I want to help young people enjoy their youth and the freedom that being young gives, I'm certainly not wanting to be dictatorial or disapproving...but I sometimes don't think that youngsters appreciate that actions have consequences. Does giving young people loads of information really give them knowledge and the power to make informed choices...or is it a license to take risks?

Sorry, I don't know. I do know that my 2, aged 17 & 15, are well informed and know that I will talk to them on a wide range of subjuects until the cows come home...I'm frequently accused of being "obsessed"...I just think that if I initiate the conversation, no matter how light heartedly, they'll take on board the message that it's Ok to talk about it. But what do teenagers need to know to help them make sensible decisions...please tell me and I'll do my best to deliver it to the teenagers I work with.

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I don't think a lack of knowledge about contraception, STD's, and how it all works would stop anyone from having sex. Similarly, I think it unlikely that being well-informed would encourage it, and definitely not lead to it.

Kids will know what sex is from schoolyard gossip (probably pretty inaccurate!), even if not taught in school or at home.

The increase in STD's and teen pregnancies I think has more to do with changes in society and behaviour than changes in sex education. So IMO you have to be sure that kids are given the information they need to make informed decisions and to protect themselves if thats what they need to do.

In the same way that we need to teach kids why wearing a life jacket on a boat is a good idea we need to make sure they know about contraception.

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Rosie will be doing sex ed this year (yr 6), although we've already had extensive talks about it.

 

I have always been very open with her and answered her questions on an age appropriate basis; last year I bought her some books and we went through them - everything was with an emphasis on loving relationships rather then just sex.

 

At the moment, she is very repsonsible about it all, but I have no doubt that will evaporate when her hormones kick in :roll: We have talked about contraception on a basic level, and I plan to go through it in more detail when the time is right. Safe sex is one of my soap box topics so I will have to try not to rant.

 

I agree that SE probbaly won't stop some of the youngsters getting pregnant (another general statement here) - they will just go ahead anyway, with some of them (certainly around here) it's a case of history leading by example - their mothers were pregnant young, so they probably will be too. That is so sad.

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only today I've had to deal with a 15 year old having a miscarrige at about 3 months preg, mom did not know DD was pregnant, such a sad situation, We would all like to think that our teens could talk to us about anything at all, but I still remember my mom trying to talk to us about sex it was really embarrasing & she got all the words wrong, I spent years believing mens bits were called pistons :oops: bottom line " if any of you get pregnant I'll KILL YOU" and we believed her :oops:

 

SE at school was dreadful too, we had 1 lesson when I was about 16 from a very embarrrased male biology teacher in a mixed class, some booklets were handed out, teacher left the room & came back half an hour later collected books & left, just as well mom managed to scare us sufficiently not to try to find out too much too soon :lol::lol::lol:

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We only had the 'talk' at senior school. It was farmed out to a lovely lady from Lillets to came and did the whole thing, film, working models, diagrams..............and then gave out free samples of tampons ( and demonstrated how to use one correctly on a dummy). The teachers were relieved that they didn't have to deal with it all. Especially as the head of biology was an old battle axe called Miss Fish.

 

My Mum did give me an extremely old fashioned leaflet, which I promptly handed back to her explaining that we had covered all that stuff at school ages ago.

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I went to a convent school so you can imagine how thorough our sex education was. :?

 

We were handed a leaflet all about "Our Lady" who evidently had to "endure" what we w ere going to "endure". It was so wrapped up in allegory that it was virtually impossible to get the gist of it.

 

We were advised to offer up what we were going to "endure" for the Holy Souls. Apparently our menstruating was going to help the dead make the transition from Purgatory to Heaven.

 

Yeah...right.

 

It is no wonder my psyche is in the state it is really, is it. :?

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Scrambled_ please dont feel you cant talk to your mum just cos she shouted at you :);)

 

Its the first reaction i do as well, its not really cos im mad...its more of a knee jerk reaction until i calm down and can see clearly. Its only cos i care! maybe your mum is the same?

 

As for the drinking and smoking thing when you are pregnant.... why would she intentionally get slaughtered if she thought she WAS pregnant? Im not sure how much or if it would hurt the 'possible baby' as i dont know how pregnant she thinks she is, but she needs to maybe go see the doctor whether she does or doesnt want to keep it. For her healths sake :) But thats just my thoughts on the subject :wink:

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I don't think I've ever had "the talk" with either of my parents, and I'm 17!! TBH I think I was lucky at school and had a really good SE teacher who talked openly about it all, and didn't mind answering questions, and we were taught in single-sex groups.

 

Scrambled_, don't feel you can't talk to either your mu or your dad, at the end of the day they want what's best for you, and your mum was probably worried about you, you hear so many stories of teens getting in trouble (don't I sound older than I am?!? :oops: )

 

If your friend thinks she's pregnant, she needs to go to see a Dr, especially if she has smoked and drunk alot since conception. That's what I think is correct anyway (I'm sure someone will correct me if wrong!)

 

I think it's so sad to hear of unwanted teenage pregnancies. I have two friends with young children now, 18 months old and 4 months old, and a couple of friends who have had a few scares :shock: Luckily, parents have supported the girls, but I don't know how they would have managed on their own!

 

IMHO SE needs to be more common in schools, as at the moment I don't think that all schools have enough, if any?!

 

Sorry for the long post!

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