Happy chickens! Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Apologies if this has been posted before, just came across it elsewhere and am so happy to learn that I am on a balanced diet now!! CHOCOLATE IS A VEGETABLE How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. If you eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, the calories actually counteract each other. Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy? If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you? If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clootie Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Hoorah !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Fantastic . I like their thinking . Who knew calories were afraid of heights . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggy Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 hurray Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Hooray indeed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Heard it all now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scramble Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 yay! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin B Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 If you eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, the calories actually counteract each other. Haha! That one is my favourite! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 We dont need experts to tell us this - lets face it we already know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 I always suspected it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less. That made me snort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluekarin Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Also, if you cut them into little pieces they contain no calories what-so-ever. It works with all sorts of things; biscuits, cake, cheese. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ana's flock Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 ...and it you eat someone else's or out of someone else's plate it doesn't count either as they were other people's calories in the first place. (Based on the same principle as eating your children's left over chips ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwing Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Darn right its good for you! I get the stuff with the Arabic writing on - if I can't read about the calories there arent any in it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
