Chickvic Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigmommasally Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 Brilliant! My Alice is broody again and all this behaviour is her to a tee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsallen08 Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 Love it, my Pat and Babs are exactly the same atm. But we came home with some fertile eggs so now Im going to see what Pat can do! I am weak! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brambles Posted June 23, 2009 Author Share Posted June 23, 2009 Good grief I had the most awful nightmare last night. I was tossing and turning, flattened as if a great weight was pressing me like a pancake and unable to move from my bed. I was hot and flushing and there was this strange pop popping noise, similar to the 'slaphead' sounds the human chicks make to one another. I was so relieved to wake up and walk down into the run for breakfast. I seem to have had some sort of extreme bikini wax and as far as I know, I haven't even ever been married or done swimwear photoshoots. I am so hungry. A girl like me has to watch her figure, but it feels like I haven't eaten for a week. And, I'm far too polite to say it, but WHAT is that 'pile' in the very strange slatted holiday cottage arrangement that seems to be next to the run? My owner is attempting to empty it but it appears to be glued to it. She's going to have to get a large spade and a jet washer. Has she had a small pony in there? I don't know how she would have got it in. I thought you all might like to know that I have taken up landscape gardening. Well, remodelling really. No one needs all of these shrubs and a lawn isn't a lawn without a few features in it. My friends are looking decidedly scruffy. It's a good job a girl like me knows how to keep herself up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickaboo Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 Hi Bluebelle, I am Phoebe a lovely ginger hen/person (although I've yet to convince my humans of this). Its horrific what some girls have to put up with, only yesterday I was knocking on the catflap for 10 whole mins would you believe, before I was let in the human house, and then I wasn't offered any toast (I just had to peck at crumbs on the floor, like some sort of animal ). I also suffer physical abuse, this month alone I was trodden on whilst helping a man read the gas meter, I was knocked unconcious when the garage door hit me whilst I was helping with gardening, and I nearly strangled myself on plastic bag unpacking the humans shopping. Although I do get my own back, through my skill of flight I took a whole slice of tasty sponge cake from the garden table (rightfully mine, and that female human really needs to watch her weight in my opinion) , I get to sleep indoors by feigning illness , and you wouldn't believe how clumsy the small humans can be especially if you chase them round the garden untill they eventually drop their gummy sweets (not great for the beak admittedly ). We suffer a lot Bluebelle, but you have to use your superior intelligence. You may find it helpful to read the very informative book '101 ways for a chicken to train its human' - it covers your basic rights and a few ways to cheat the system. Good Luck! I'm off now to steal a strawberry off the tortoise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 Hello Bluebelle and Phoebe . Molly here (speaking for Milly and Maisie too who can't type ). I sympathise with your plight. These humans really need a lot of training, don't they . I find a squirt with a supersoaker works wonders although if you can't get into the garage to find one, the next best thing is a squirt of what they call korma poo. Try to get it on their feet or better still, their trousers. If you can get indoors, doing it on the carpet affords an even more spectacular result . Would you believe our human is considering replacing us with two younger models . I don't know what her problem is . She gets at least 6 eggs a week and we work for free in her borders, keeping them weed and plant free . How would she like it if she was replaced because she wasn't producing a nutritious meal every day ? If she persists with this ludicrous plan, we fully intend to make the newcomers' lives misery . She thinks we're sweet-natured and friendly but she knows nothing . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 I am crying with laughter & it hurts!!!! *note to self; must learn to have silent hysterics so the dogs don't attack me..............* I'm glad Willow, Cordelia & Buffie are too traumatised by their cuddles earlier this afternoon to attempt to take over the keyboard, goodness knows what they would say about me Sha x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy chickens! Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 Fantastic Brambles! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 Keep us informed girls! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mostin Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 Loving this thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 I'm off now to steal a strawberry off the tortoise I have just inhaled my toast........Him Indoors has come running downstairs to see what I am laughing at. :D This is the funniest thread I have read in a long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patricia W Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 Reminds me of " Ladies of Letters". I can just see the series coming on.. Who would play Bluebelle ? Judi Dench? Keep it up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brambles Posted June 24, 2009 Author Share Posted June 24, 2009 Hello ladies, goodness me, what we girls have to put up with. Well I have had such an exotic breakfast; grapes with some sort of white relish on top. My owner was a sight as she chased us around our extensive outdoor accomodation, but she made sure we had one each. It was amusing seeing her dodge the stealth poos which we'd positioned strategically around our paddock. I do believe we've made our mark on her new white sandals - she is such a fashion icon now, it will really enhance her look at the important 'work meetings' she keeps going on about. She seems to be worried about vets, as I could just make out the words 'flu be vet' on the packaging - well, if they're all in bed with flu we don't have to worry about any injections, do we? She's currently making a collection of all of our best offerings from in our run. It's quite a work out for her, we've chosen the most remote spots to ensure that she has to rake that little bit deeper and work off the excess from all that wine and chocolate she's been having. It's quite exciting actually, as there's a big red box marked 'stan' next to the run. Is it a new husband for us? I think I'd better head for the beauty parlour. I think that today I will mainly be doing mingling and extending the beauty parlour dust bowl getting ready for Stan. I am looking remarkably fine compared to my moulting friends. I may consider laying an egg sometime, but am far too busy working on my plumage and my beautiful red face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 I love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 Note to self: do not read this thread at work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutrix Farmers Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 I needed cheering up! Thanks brambles, and thankyou to bluebelle for sharing her insights with us. Hope Stan lives up to your expectations!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 Very funny . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brambles Posted June 25, 2009 Author Share Posted June 25, 2009 We need an exorcist. Edna is possessed. Honestly. She has taken to sitting on eggs as if they were her own - daft bird. When room service looked in to see what was going on, Edna SCREAMED. It was impressive, a bit like one of the humans on my favourite much maligning film 'the birds'. Room service thought a pterodactyl had come back from Jurassic park. Edna then assaulted room service. She'll have to be careful as we want those tasty snacks to keep coming. Edna was removed by the emergency exit and we were then locked out of our rooms ALL DAY. I really do want to make a complaint to the management. She's gone a bit hormonal - perhaps if we go and eat all of the evening primose flowers it'll get a bit better. I have landscape gardened rather deep now. It's impressive. Room Service almost broke her ankle on it in the dark. No sign of stan yet - wonder if he's Chinese, his travelling accomodation is labelled 'Stan San' I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 We need an exorcist. Edna is possessed. Is there henybody there ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brambles Posted June 28, 2009 Author Share Posted June 28, 2009 Still no sign of Stan. I expect he's holding out on me. There are some rather attractive drakes flying over though, very exotic. The landscaping's coming on a treat, as is my new fly farm. Room Service is getting lots of exercise picking up our offerings from the run. I'm still not doing laying. I'm saving my energies. Edna seems ok now, the screaming has ceased. We're currently all working on seeing how much of the garden furniture we can cover with poo. We're rather good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 So did the exorcist come round or did Edna get better after a good night's sleep....life is so much better after a good snooze I find !!! Wonder what this Stan chap is like......... tall, dark & handsome or short, fair & dumpy Sha x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Keep aiming well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brambles Posted June 29, 2009 Author Share Posted June 29, 2009 Heavens! It's positively tropical. Room service is leaving our accomodation door open for air conditioning. This is marvellous as we can get up and start to do mingling really early now. I decided to do singing at 5.30am and it really cleared the air. The others were fulsome in shouting their praise to me. I think the result was that all of the humans in their big eglu decided that aircon was not the way to go, as there were a load of windows slamming - they must like the heat. I have recommenced laying. With this heat I may decided to do nesting soon, best keep them on their toes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
