docsquid Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 On behalf of my sisters, Megan and Gwennie, I, Blodwyn, would like to complain. First of all the hoomans allowed white stuff to go all over the garden. We do NOT like it and really feel our hoomans are incompetent in allowing this to happen. Then they got another three hoomans to visit. They are called Tree Surgeons. We think they are doing very interesting stuff. But we are not being allowed out to "help!". All this lovely cutting, bits of twig, bits of log and we can't get out! We think we would be extremely helpful at digging out the trunk of the cherry tree that is being cut down and that our rights to dig have been infringed! And we've only had six grapes today so far! The cheek! Bok! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brambles Posted January 6, 2010 Author Share Posted January 6, 2010 We are all currently wearing white pantaloons and standing on one leg as it makes the white stuff less painful. Herself has valeted the cube and the baybees separate accomodation is stuffed with that dry grass. Hmph, unfair. Perhaps we should not be pecking them so much. We have stopped doing eggs for a bit as the exertion is all simply too much. Hooman is giving us treats as she has some sort of party happening on Saturday. Twice. Maybe she's gone addled and forgotten it's only meant to be once. She says she'd like some eggs please to make cakes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 I am not a hen mummy yet but hope to be soon, you young lady remind me of my teenager What an eggitude you have -surely your hooman sorry human deserves some eggs after all this chambermaiding and pandering to your needs, and in this weather too. There are millions of chucks who'd give their last egg to be in your shoes (assuming you wear them) . Give your mom some respect and thank her for all she does. If failing this advice you still have a grievance you could ring Henline who offer hensenshall advice for all hens who feels they have a egg to bare. Yours a wanna be hen mom XX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chick wiggle Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Hello, Dora here again. Well, I must say, I am ashamed of you ladies!!! Call yourselves Hens? You just have not got to grips with your human training very well have you? Firstly, this white stuff they insist on decorating the garden with, use it to your advantage girls! DO NOT go out in it, insist on your human bringing it into the run so you can inspect it thouroughly before having a peck of it off her boots. Secondly, DO NOT just lay eggs willy nilly, make them wait and only produce them when it suits you! Thirdly, DO NOT drink your water cold, make the human top it up with water from the magic silver jug to make it lovely and warm! Fourthly, DO NOT forget to tell your human you like your porridge warm with raisins and poultry spice! Fifthly, DO follow these simple training rules and your life will be much happier. Just get you humans under control girls!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 OOOOOh what eggitude - I think a bit of discipline is needed. And I thought it was only cats that gave you lip, destroyed your home and tried it on when they wanted something. tut tut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiganchooks Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Hello! Margaret here. (KC and Hughes are keeping look-out for the hooman. Pls excus my spelling, my early educ was not what it cud hav been.) We are in the big howse!!! Where the furry woofing fing lives and the hoomans! Well we are also suffering the white stuff. It is vilating our newly aquired rites to dig in soil and find worms!! It has not gone away for 3 weeks and is getting even colder at nite now. However... Tonite it is going to be “minus 10” whatever vat means, so we are allowed 2 sleep in the cold room on the outside of the howse! Vis is the fird time we have slept in there since we were “rescued” (sorry, I don’t like to fink about bak then 2 much) in September. It was KC who figured out how. She is a bit feeble, but useful sumtimes. So here goes: * A good way to get warm overnight is to look miserable as the sun goes down, ven the best actress amongst u (KC for us) shivers a bit when the hooman looks in on you later on (u cud also cheep and wobble but don’ overdo it or mite go to vet insted) *U ven get taken into the outside bit of the hooman house and your roosting bars, food and water come too. *Conditions may not be up 2 usual standards (we have to que in ve morning to use a box that says “easy peelers” instead of having a nest-box each) but if u all sing out a celebraytory egg-laid corus and shout loud early in the morning ur hooman will get up and visit u earlier than ever happens when u sleep in your hut outside! *Wonce hooman has put all their feathers on for the day u will be taken bak outside to ve run to watch the horrid white stuff thru the bars. But it is worf it for a grate nites sleep. Try it!! luv Margaret KC and Hughes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Wow WC you have a bi-lingual chuck fluent in German?. I am quite impressed and these girls are using a keyborad too. Must get my cats writing in. Can't have one chuckmanship can we Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chick wiggle Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 Hello girls, Dora here Well, Margaret, I am very impressed with your very well trained humans! We may try that if I deem it necessary. But we did manage to get our human to fill our houses with straw yesterday and we had a very good nights sleep. I think our human must have had cold hands this morning as she stuck one in our house to warm it up How very dare she, nicking OUR warm! Anyway, this morning we insisted she brush some of the white stuff off the roof of our run as it was quite dark with all that stuff on it. Oh how we laughed when she got covered in the stuff. Stupid human ended up covered and her great big red feet coverers were filled with it too Now, if you will excuse me ladies I think it is time to bok bok for our warm porridge, must keep these humans on their toes! Bok on Ladies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Licken Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 Primrose here. IAMBACKINCHARGE.......BooooCCKKK! My fevvers have grown back and much to my surprise I have laid some eggs. My friend Barry is back down the pecking order and when I come out of the run I will sort out those new girls too....BbbBBBOooCCCKKK Chicken conditions here are changeable. Today our white ice has finally melted away - it was the stealth poohs that finally did the trick. I think thye could be marketed as an alternative to dwindling grit supplies. I wish to report that our hooman has been feeding us well with porrige and some days it has poultry spice and sometimes it has lifeguard tonic in it. My favourite bits are raisins and grapes. We do not eat porrige with hidden pellets in as they are not proper treats. We have now trained 3 seperate hoomans to bring us treats when we shout and teh new girls are following our strict and demanding training regieme too. I commend all in the chicke sisterhood to demand your chicken rights to more treats in cold weather and apply many stealth poohs as de-icer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 Donna here again. Well done ladies we are doing well. Well I taught my hooman female today. She has been making us layers pellets porridge with hot water and adding grapes and sweetcorn to it. Well ladies, if you stick your foot on the bowl and move it around, you can get to the good things and leave the porridge for the youngsters This also has the added bonus of freaking your hooman out, particularly of you have just stepped in a curry poo. My hooman was all and I was all Keep up the bokking! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saronne Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 Hey girls, I've got the human trained to pick me up from the doorway of the eglu and carry me to where the vittles are - I have totally avoided walking on the horrible white stuff. Here's how it works; 1. Stand at the doorway of your house looking pathetic whilst the white stuff settles on your feathers and slowly turns you into a snow-chook. 2. Make noises like a squeaky-gate (I am, afterall an Araucana). 3. Occasionally stand on one foot only. It increases that look of helplessness 4. Tremble slightly. You might have to endure a little verbal abuse; e.g. 'Araucana?! she'd never make it one day living in the Andes! What little my human knows! Juanita the Araucana x P.S. that's my piccy on the human's avatar. Aren't I lovely? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 Yes you are lovely, but a little naughty in doing that to your mum, if you are too cold, stay in your run! . I can't believe that I turn my back for 5 minutes and my Donna starts posting on here again I'll have to get the Moderators to drop my post count Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docsquid Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Hello. Blodwyn here again, on behalf of my sisters. I really feel I should make a complaint that my hooman clearly doesn't understand the basics of chicken welfare. She doesn't seem to understand that we ONLY need to eat treats, not that horrible nutritious chicken food she seems to be hell-bent on feeding us. It is very annoying. She goes to all the trouble of mixing sultanas, raisins, mealworms and corn into chicken mash every morning, and mixing it with nice warm water, and then we have to make a huge effort to dig out the treaty bits. Why not just give us treats. Also, she doesn't appear to understand that appearing at the back door means treats are mandatory. Indeed, she, and he, for that matter, both appear to think they should be allowed out without proffering any treats at all! Finally, she gives the wild birds in the garden some yummy stuff, but doesn't give us any of it. We are forced to scratch around in the shed for bits that she has spilled, and to try and grab some from the wild bird feeders before she can hang them up again. We keep telling her this, but she doesn't seem to understand what Bokkkk...Bwaaaaaark..Bok actually means. At least she seems to have melted some of the horrible white stuff, but we really think her performance has deteriorated, and that she doesn't warrant all these lovely eggs we are providing for her. We have started pooing on the roosting bars so she has to wash them off every day, but will have to think of stronger disciplinary measures if she doesn't sharpen up soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvachicken Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Thats the best laugh i've had in ages, thanks everyone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Shirl Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 (edited) Hello, Minky and the girls calling from Tenerife. We are sorry you have been having all that white cold stuff falling from the sky. We have had wet stuff falling from our sky, and we didn't like it one bit when it fell on us at night and our feathers got all wet. We did like it though when we went looking for worms and things as there were loads of them all over the place. Our chicken mummy and daddy were only to be seen when they came out to throw us some grain, they quickly went back into there run, chicken mummy looked very funny with wet hair! Here are some pictures of us after the wet stuff when the big red ball came in the sky to dry us all and get us warm again. There are two photo's mods, but as usual I can only get one to post.x Edited January 13, 2010 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Sir Minky, Us girls in South Wales are very intrigued about this big red ball of which you speak, our hoomans also talk about it, but it hasn't been around these parts for over a year! I just wish the hoomans hadn't clipped our wings or we'd be flying over Love Donna and the gang (who wished we had a handsome man like you around, you are rather a hunk from your photo and we are very jealous of your wives) xx PS My Hooman says that you need a "]" at the end of your first photo and that will make it appear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Shirl Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Dear Donna, I would love you to visit, it is lovely over here, no snow or frost. I will send you a picture of the red ball in the sky when Chicken mummy lets me get my beak on the camera. I can always use a couple of welsh chicks in the garden I am only a bantam cockerel so if you and your friends are big girls I should look else where Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Hello, Minky and the girls calling from Tenerife. We are sorry you have been having all that white cold stuff falling from the sky. We have had wet stuff falling from our sky, and we didn't like it one bit when it fell on us at night and our feathers got all wet. We did like it though when we went looking for worms and things as there were loads of them all over the place. Our chicken mummy and daddy were only to be seen when they came out to throw us some grain, they quickly went back into there run, chicken mummy looked very funny with wet hair! Here are some pictures of us after the wet stuff when the big red ball came in the sky to dry us all and get us warm again. There are two photo's mods, but as usual I can only get one to post.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Well done Plum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Wasn't Plum, was me Grackle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Well done Grackle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Shirl Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Thanks Grackle, My chicken mummy is such a duffer when it comes to posting photo's. Love Minky.xx PS. How big are you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Big enough to stand on the keyboard and peck the screen when I see other chickens on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Shirl Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 I love to have a go on the computer myself. The hoomans go bonkers when I fly up on the keyboard. I laugh and crow with delight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Shirl Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Big enough to stand on the keyboard and peck the screen when I see other chickens on it. That's a NO then is it Grackle. Shame Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
