miffy Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 PLEASE can you help, I have no idea what to get MiL this year. She had the usual camera, digital photo frame, pics of family, all the cds of the people she likes. Just says not to get her anything, which is NO help at all. Last year resorted to nightdress, bed socks...which wasnt really very inspired....and she can quite easily afford to buy her own. She has let slip that over the years she hasnt known what to do with the various gifts she has been given.......no where to put them even though she lived in a large 3 bedroomed bungalow (sorry about the moan) she cant use any perfumed products and wont even try the "dermatologically tested" products. she lives in an annex attached to our house and is quite fiercely independant, apart from the washing & ironing and looking after her chickens!!! She is 84years old and has less than perfect eye sight...large print books...gets books from library doesnt want them lying around. any suggestions, please help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlottechicken Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 Have you considered getting her a wool duvet? There's a RNIB shop they might have some ideas for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 There's a RNIB shop they might have some ideas for you. Claire, I work for RNIB! There are a lot of useful products in their shop. Miffy, how about a 'Talking Book' and a fleece blanket? Perfect for a relaxing time while it's cold outside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miffy Posted December 3, 2010 Author Share Posted December 3, 2010 Bought her a new duvet about 4 years ago ......off to look at that website....thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 Why not take her at her word - she doesn't want anything, and hasn't got many needs. Get her an Oxfam Gift (it could even be chicken-related) or similar, and tell her you knew she'd rather the money went to a good cause than on buying her something she doesn't want. Even if she hates it, she will be hard put to tell you so! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miffy Posted December 3, 2010 Author Share Posted December 3, 2010 like the web site!!! acouple of the kitchen gadgets look good, and I think she would love the talking bathroom scales.........OH says will it say "one at a time please" or "no coach parties" when she uses them Talking books is also a good idea....are they the same as audio cds?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miffy Posted December 3, 2010 Author Share Posted December 3, 2010 Olly ...thats brilliant , I would but OH says no.... Mind you I did do that for the nieces who have so much already one year !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 like the web site!!! acouple of the kitchen gadgets look good, and I think she would love the talking bathroom scales.........OH says will it say "one at a time please" or "no coach parties" when she uses them Talking books is also a good idea....are they the same as audio cds?? Yes, I did mean the audio cd sort. Our receptionist at work said she loves to listen to a classic novel while doing the housework. Apparently it helps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 Has she got a slanket Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chucky Mama Posted December 4, 2010 Share Posted December 4, 2010 I am just about to buy one of these **CLICK** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sari Posted December 4, 2010 Share Posted December 4, 2010 My granny was partially sighted, and we used to buy her talking books, she loved them, as she really missed reading. She had lost an eye as a child, when someone open a door onto her face , and then she had macular degeneration, caused by her incessant smoking......Nan loved the talking books, and we also used to make her up a hamper of all the things she couldn't or wouldn't buy for herself in her weekly shop..I don't know if this would apply to your MiL?? What about DVD's? Are there any classic movies she would want to watch? Again, we bought Nan a video ( this was a while back, Nan's been gone 10 years ) and bought her a pile of Bette Davis, Orson Welles etc movies...if she is keen, a subscription to a DVD renatl thing, like lovefilm?? I hope you get something sorted...my MiL is a nightmare too...but we've done the Venture-type portrait thing this year...so she's getiing one of those-was my sisters idea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miffy Posted December 4, 2010 Author Share Posted December 4, 2010 OH, not now sure about the bathroom scales but we are looking at audio books and now classic dvds as well.....she has a HUGE tv to view them on in HD. Thinking I will make a box up of cd dvd and some foodie treats...she loves chocolate. Thank you for all your help, knew I could rely on you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted December 4, 2010 Share Posted December 4, 2010 If she is into choccie Hotel Chocolat have some wonderful & really unusual things in this year. They also have a great site,if there is not a branch next to you. The Gingerbread Puddles are to die for...................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cranfield Kate Posted December 4, 2010 Share Posted December 4, 2010 how about instead of a present you get her a day trip somewhere nice with you - like for afternoon tea or to visit something she's into. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WitchHazel Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 She has let slip that over the years she hasnt known what to do with the various gifts she has been given.......no where to put them even though she lived in a large 3 bedroomed bungalow I think there comes a time in life when you just don't need or want any more stuff. And, as you get older, you know that you aren't going to be around forever. She is also probably of the generation where she doesn't want to leave a mess and lots of stuff behind for other people to have to deal with, so she doesn't want to accrue anything else. A practical present (like paying for something she normally buys), or a day out, or something edible that you know she wouldn't buy herself, is probably going to be much more appreciated. Or maybe a regular supply of cut flowers through the year, if she likes that sort of thing. This year I bought, for her birthday, my mother in law a stout pair of wellies (calf length as she is tiny). They ghave horses and live on a hillside in Wales so have to deal with mud and snow. I've never, ever, had such an enthusiastic response to a gift from her. Even now, when I speak to her she tells me how fantastic the wellies are, how comfortable, how they grip even in the ice... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 I refuse to buy for mine now because she is a person who has everything and can afford pretty much anything and her tastes are somewhat too expensive for us, so OH has to use his own imagination. This year he has bought her an assortment of squashes. Very colourful I must say. I bet that will go down really well with her (not). You can see why OH and I never exchange presents now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluekarin Posted December 6, 2010 Share Posted December 6, 2010 This year I bought, for her birthday, my mother in law a stout pair of wellies (calf length as she is tiny). They ghave horses and live on a hillside in Wales so have to deal with mud and snow. I've never, ever, had such an enthusiastic response to a gift from her. Even now, when I speak to her she tells me how fantastic the wellies are, how comfortable, how they grip even in the ice... Oooh, what make are they? I need something that will enable me to walk about on the ice without 'The Fear' Hubby bought me some Timberland boots, but they are slippy too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Posted December 6, 2010 Share Posted December 6, 2010 I have similar problems with aged rellies, but I'm coming to the conclusion that they do genuinely mean it when they say not to get them anything. Sometimes a "stocking" with a few bits and pieces in goes down just as well (and often better)than a "big" present. I think that involving them in the festivities and spending time with them is probably far more important than material things. So maybe include her in the preparations a bit more would help (I've found that even asking them to do something makes them feel terribly "useful" which is a brilliant present - maybe take her to the supermarket to "help" with the shopping etc). It is difficult, it really, truly is but I remember one year I bought my grandpa (who was blind) some winter pansies and potted them up in a little tub that he could have just outside his window. They weren't intended to be a Xmas present, just something to fill up a pot, but he loved them and as they were bright yellow he could just make them out against the paving etc, without having to go outside, so maybe something like that? Truly though, I don't think it's about material things, spend time with her, make her feel needed and involved and you'll make her Xmas!!! PS, can heartily recommend audio books though and ebay is a pretty good place to get them, as is Amazon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miffy Posted December 6, 2010 Author Share Posted December 6, 2010 thanks Bramble, I have done her a stocking of small things like choc, pretty tissues, notelets, jam etc since 2000, until last year when I just lost patience and gave up and I have no intention of starting again, I too thought it would be nice to have something when she woke up Each year she makes christmas pudding, bread sauce & stuffing for xmas day, and we always go xmas shopping together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted December 7, 2010 Share Posted December 7, 2010 Miffy Don't be tempted to register your MIL with the RNIB for support. My mother was registered and now they just keep ringing her up hassling her to donate money They never have provided anything in the way of support, I can't work out what they actually do with all the money they raise when they don't provide support to those that need it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miffy Posted December 7, 2010 Author Share Posted December 7, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cate in NZ Posted December 8, 2010 Share Posted December 8, 2010 Possibly my perspective is slightly different now since my (absolutely fabulous) MiL is now 13,000 miles away & if truth be told I probably miss her more than my own mother. But I think that as people age possessions & gifts become less important & time more so. If your MiL is anything like mine she's quite probably acquired everything she's ever wanted over the years and possibly doesn't feel the need to fill another drawer with things she doesn't need. So how about gifts of time? home made vouchers...possibly 12, 1 a month for the next year, to be redeemed for various activities agreed by you both. Maybe a shopping trip to the local supermarket with a cup of tea at the adjoining cafe, a trip to the nearest park to feed the ducks, a photo opportunity at a local scenic place with her nearest & dearest, a cinema trip, a coffee shop trip, a family meal, even if it is just at home with all the family present, a summer time picnic at the beach, whatever works for you & your family.I'm sure that if you think you could easily think of 12 things to offer over the next year and it's offering something that will continue to be a gift throughout the year, even though it's unlikely to be too expensive. My MiL is still, at 81, incredibly fit & healthy for her age, but pretty much every day I regret not still having her as an active part of my life. She sure as anything isn't perfect, we've had some fabulous stand up rows, but that said I've enjoyed almost every minute I've spent with her & wish, now, that I could do more for her as I know she misses us dreadfully. So, from my very particular perspective, which I fully agree won't apply directly to you, I'd suggest that as relatives age what they want from us is companionship, memories & a sense of ongoing inclusion rather than gifts. Hence the idea of a series of promises of activities with low value inclusions (a cup of coffee & a cake; a photo: a cinema ticket etc) rather than a fancy gift. Whatever I hope that choosing your gift to her is pleasurable, and that she just loves it...whatever it may be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
