Tweety Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 I think you are right to decline mediation. There is no evidence that you have done anything wrong, far from it, so no reason for you to take part in the process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mum-2-olly Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 i agree hun, so sorry for your troubles if they have said that you are not at fault and reasonable requests have been met, i,e discussing it with her at all! (which i wouldnt!!) lol. then really you have been deemed innocent. enjoy your girls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Good - by going for mediation you are admiting theres a problem and there is - her unreasonable attitude. She does sound like shes got mental health issues - I got impression shes elderly - am I right. And before I am taken to task ( I am a depressive so I know what I;m talking about) - I have no problems with MHI's but it can manifest itself in being OCD about issues to the point they are blinkered. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Going to mediation would not indicate that you were making any 'admission'. The purpose of mediation is to try and resolve an intractable situation, not to determine blame or make any findings. It can be extremely successful in disputes because it offers both parties the chance to voice their views, and takes away the adversarial aspect of 'I am right, you are wrong'. "Ooops, word censored!"ody 'wins' a mediation because, if successful, there is an agreed resolution. I think this is one of those cases where, unfortunately, your neighbour has such a fixed and inflexible view that mediation probably wouldn't achieve anything. I'm so sorry for you that this has been going on for so long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fourbecameeight Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 Thank you for all the support, I was in a real state yesterday. We are going camping this weekend so I will try and forget about it. My OH has said we could look at new girls to replace the ones we lost so that is something to look forward to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daphne Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 I just want to give you my support as well (I wrote lend you my support at first, which implies I'll be taking it back, which is not what I meant ). From reading this your neighbour does sound unwell. I would have thought it was virtually impossible for a neighbour's asthma to be triggered by anything to do with your chooks. You have to be right up to them for any problem to manifest. I have mild asthma but I still try not to inhale clean bedding dust whilst cleaning out - but I very much doubt she is doing this for you ). Its seems extraordinarily likely her asthma is caused by internal triggers - pets, carpets, dust and/or stress. I particularly wanted to say, and I know its easier said than done, but do really try to enjoy your weekend away and not to overworry about her. I too have been in a real state about a neighbour/chooks this week and it took my OH to firstly talk some common sense into me, and then for me to sleep on it and realise we do have options. I am now much calmer and able to take decisions. I have resolved not to think about this person, so as not to waste my valuable energy. I am more important. I hope you are able to find some respite too. Have a lovely weekend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoopsie Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Just a thought (and not a pleasant one) but do you have secure locks on your garden gate and WIR that CANNOT BE CUT? My chickens were killed by someone with a grudge, and if she is not getting her own way I wouldn't put it past her to 'arrange' something. She sounds like she might be capable. This was the advice I had from the Police after the event - when we get new girls we will have everything locked up tight. We've even got CCTV at the back of the house now. Shouldn't have to but i'm not risking a repeat performance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Going to mediation would not indicate that you were making any 'admission'. The purpose of mediation is to try and resolve an intractable situation, not to determine blame or make any findings. It can be extremely successful in disputes because it offers both parties the chance to voice their views, and takes away the adversarial aspect of 'I am right, you are wrong'. "Ooops, word censored!"ody 'wins' a mediation because, if successful, there is an agreed resolution. I think this is one of those cases where, unfortunately, your neighbour has such a fixed and inflexible view that mediation probably wouldn't achieve anything. I'm so sorry for you that this has been going on for so long. I agree, but if the position escalates, the first questions that is asked will be 'why did you decline mediation?'. My immediate boss is an expert mediator in the field of construction contract disputes, he also volunteers for a local civil mediation service. he has been faced with far more problematic folk than your neighbour and is expert in dealing with that type. I'd suggest giving it a try. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tweety Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Conversely, you could also be asked " why did you agree to mediation if you don't think there is a problem? " Unless the neighbour has medical evidence that her health is being affected by the hens - and she obviously doesn't have such evidence, otherwise she would have produced it by now - to agree to mediation might be construed as an acknowledgement that it is a possibility. I am all for settling matters amicably wherever possible, but in this case I think it is for your neighbour to come up with some hard evidence before you should be required to go any further. I hope you have a lovely weekend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortle Chook Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 I think that Ollie is totally right. Now have a super weekend. Try to put the whole situation away from you, get your new chooks (letting us know what you have got of course ) and get on with your life. Sometimes one just has to ignore the odd person, comletely, as if they just don't exist and I think this may be one of those occasions. I suspect that your neighbour is ill and has hinged on your chooks' disappearance as her cure-all rather than admitting to herself that she is unwell. This type of belief is called 'having a Blick'. It is well documented and there nothing you can do about it. With a 'Blick' no amount of evidence will make the belief go away.. . . now tell us. . . what chooks will you get? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzannejoy Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Have a good weekend you deserve it !!! got me thinking .... I have a very odd old lady next door who is always complaining of cats poo in her garden Ive only got one cat but she has had me going over and cleaning up all the neighbourhood cats poo as well !! lol What we do to keep the peace ! Luckily so far Ive had no complaints about my chickens but makes me think it might happen . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
