soapdragon Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 (edited) I don't do Facebook or Twitter or any online social media so I am a bit clueless about a situation that has arisen in the family - hence posting. Step MIL asked BIL and wife and us to a family dinner for FIL's 80th - us contributing food etc and staying overnight. For BIL and wife its about a 2.5/3 hour drive and they have horses, sheep and dogs to look after as well as SIL's mildly dotty mum living with them. so they have said they'll go but not stay the night. Step MIL was quite derogatory about that to us - which I though a bit off in itself - but has now 'unfriended' BIL on Facebook with no explaination. Is that, as BIL feels, a major breach of social media ettiquete? He and SIL are fuming and I can feel a huge family row brewing and have to say that I am 'on side' with BIL and his commitments. What is the gen on unfriending someone? Could she have done it accidentally? Edited July 13, 2018 by soapdragon Smelling mistake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 I'm on FB but a bit rubbish at the etiquette. I have had the urge to restrict contact with family members. I read up very carefully to try to understand the ramifications of my actions. I've enough emotional rubbish with my own family without creating more. You can restrict/unfollow people without them knowing. You're still on 'good terms' but they will only see what you choose which seems like a fairly normal way of dealing with other people. In normal relationships there may be people you don't choose to tell things to but they may hear eventually. That seems OK to me. I think blocking or unfriending seems a bit harsh and not something I'd choose to do without serious reason. I've been ostracised by my family and know how horrible that is. Just because you have other obligations doesn't seem like a good reason to be mean. I think I would feel like your BIL. ... and no, it can't be done accidentally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat tails Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 Yes it is rather against ettiquete. I have only unfriended very few people. You can mute a person if you are fed up with their posts and the thing I normally do. The people I actually did unfriend, I had a falling out with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 (edited) I know you can block. Don think thats the same. I appreciate some people think animals are lower life forms who dont deserve care but they have a bewildered human to care for too. I have often used our cats and hens as an excuse ( a dam good one IMHO) - hens can be left for a night if secure and access to food water etc. Me thinks shes a little OTT but each to their own. Edited July 13, 2018 by Alis girls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 She's have to actively go in to unfriend and then confirm it so it seems pretty petty and childish to me - probably wanting to provoke a reaction! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyRoo Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 My MiL unfriended me pretty quickly when I told her that I viewed her paper of choice (The Daily Fail... sorry, Mail) as a far-right terrorist organisation after she tried to defend a really homophobic article to my partner and I. When people have strong views or opinions on something, it happens. I just shrug it off and think of it as being a bit childish. I've had it happen a few times. For me it's like water off a duck's back. I'm seeing the MiL again next weekend, so if she chooses to bring it up, she can; I'll just leave it to rest. There isn't time in my life for childish people - particularly when they're old enough to know better. I'd just rise above it if I were you - let them sort it out. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandmashazzie Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 I unfriended my sister ( who I get on very well with in real life ) but on Facebook she drove me mad. Posting the most inane rubbish. In hindsight I should have blocked her. She was very hurt.Perhaps there is more to it in MILs eyes and the party invite was last straw. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 I think FB is a tool for people to hurt others a lot intentionally. It is too easy to type nasty things instead of talking or arguing face to face. Some make partial comments for attention seeking. Some comments are completely misunderstood and tempers flare as a result. Most are genuinely nice people though - happily I know a lot of those! However I don't go on there as regularly as I used to because I felt the need to get away from it and do something more constructive instead. But it is nice to pop in occasionally and say hi to old friends or catch up with those who do like to post a lot. Nice to know our young Omleteers are doing/have done well at uni - which is great. So I would say - if you don't have anything nice to say then say nothing and everyone is happy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
