Olly Posted May 17, 2008 Share Posted May 17, 2008 I think you won that round! Pretend nothing every happened, and be charm personified, as others have suggested. That will really have them grinding their teeth! Well done for sticking to your guns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedusA Posted May 17, 2008 Share Posted May 17, 2008 I just hope that they behave themselves and the children have a great day (once the vicar has sorted things out ). I'm sure you'll be the soul of discretion and calm! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little chickadee Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 I'm glad they've seen sense and hope that the vicar manages to sort everything out. Have a great day and try not to laugh in a hysterical fashion on the day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjules Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 I've just found this thread. Hope all goes well Mrs B! You did very well to control your temper with all the spitefulness from your attention-seeking in-laws. Dysfunctional families anonymous - like the idea, but I think it might be a bit crowded!! I love the wedding comments - we didn't have a proper wedding for some of those reasons, but they remind me of a friend, as she was trying to get out of the wedding car to the church, her soon-to-be MIL put her head in the door and said "Do you like my hat?"!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted May 25, 2008 Share Posted May 25, 2008 How did it go MrsB? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 I hope your children's day went well Karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyBoo Posted May 26, 2008 Author Share Posted May 26, 2008 Well, the final chapter. It was a perfect day! We looked out at the grey clouds and drizzle yesterday and thought we were doomed! But just as we were thinking of relocating the party afterwards to the pub, the clouds parted and the sun shone. Everyone looked fantastic, I'd cooked enough food for the five thousand (always do ) and the two stars of the show loved every minute of it. Now then, the out-laws. They came to the church, I saw them as I got out of our car and smiled sweetly. Unfortunately MIL walked up to my mum and tried to give her a hug as though nothing had happened. Now I'd already briefed my Mum to behave as though nothing had happened, I said I could so she ought to as well. She said she would find it very hard but if I could she would try. When it came to it MIL gave her a hug and asked how she was. Mum replied "Alright" rather shortly I would imagine, so MIL asked (rather unwisely IMO) "What have WE done?!" To which my mother replied "What have YOU done? After the last two weeks? I don't think so!" and walked away. Which I kind of don't blame her for, she's seen me furious, in tears, she's seen me biting my tongue trying not to say anything bad back. Anyway, that was that, out-laws came to the church, apparently my FIL was in church muttering to my Dad about "broken promises...." So they didn't come back to the house which was probably for the best. As far as the kids were concerned the out-laws came which is the main thing. THEN, today, we made the kids ring them to say thank-you for their christening presents (which they couldn't be bothered to hand to them personally but still) - I didn't want to speak to the in-laws quite honestly so OH did, at which point his mother stated that MY MOTHER WAS RUDE!!Well, light the blue touch paper and stand well back. I STILL haven't replied, I have swallowed my rage (and I am INCANDESCENT with rage!) so as far as they're concerned they will still be wallowing in self-pity. Sorry, I'm still furious, I haven't said a single bad thing to them, I haven't bitten back or said what I've wanted to say. SIL sent me an e-mail, one of those round robin type one shortly before the christening, it said "I love you because......Happy sisters day" I nearly sent back saying "Are you taking the mick or what?" But I didn't. I didn't reply at all. One of OH's cousins yesterday has obviously heard ALL about it from them, so we gave her OUR side which was an eye-opener for her. I don't know what to do with myself I'm so cross. Its taken me an hour and a half NOT to ring and tell them EXACTLY what I think, it's only for OH that I haven't. But who cares, my children had a perfect day, the sun shone, ALL the people that matter were there and we had a great time. I'm tired out from this now, I might even finish the last of the cheap pink fizz in the fridge. Sorry, another long rant, hopefully the last one. Mrs Bertie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 Well done Mrs.B - you can live with the comfort of knowing you've done the right thing I don't blame your Mum for saying her piece - and you don't really need to worry about what they think. I'm glad the sun came out for you - I was thinking of you as we had awful weather as well! - we had a break in the weather, and the children palyed on the trampoline..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 Rise above it all Mrs B. You have played a blinder. You can't be quoted as you have said nothing wrong. I don't blame your mum either. Good for her. I am glad the day went well, that the children were the centre of attention, and that the weather was kind to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 Good for you Mrs B - you played it cool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cooks Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 Glad it went ok, cant blame your mum either to be honest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basset Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 Well Done Mrs B. You played it perfectly. I'm so pleased the day went so well - you deserved a good day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little chickadee Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 Glad your kids had a great day - honestly ...... family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 Glad you had such a lovely day . No surprise that the in-laws reverted to their normal behaviour . Sounds like you handled it perfectly . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 Really pleased to hear the kids had a fantastic time Family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 Rise above it all Mrs B. You have played a blinder. I agree - dont let them make you bow down to their level. They are the sad ones who are missing out and get some kind of kick making other peoples lives a misery as they lead dull ones! (speaking in general terms here as I dont know your inlaws - but that's usually the way these type of people work ) So happy you, OH and your kiddies had a great day. Think of the good times and enjoy, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missuscluck Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 So pleased your day went well for you. I hope it can all be put behind you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 Delighted to hear the day went well. OF COURSE your mum did that - what mum wouldn't! You have to grit your teeth and behave graciously - she doesn't, and she is entitled to her view, which is that they have behaved very badly and that they've hurt her beloved daughter. However, you are not responsible for what your mum does, she is a grown woman. So what if they think she was rude - it wasn't you who did or said anything. Let them blame her, I'm assuming they only see her occasionally at joint family events like this. And so what if next time there is a joint do, they refuse to come because she was 'so rude' - that sounds like a result to me! I'm sure your mum won't mind being the scapegoat, and you and she both know the truth of it. It gave the outlaws a handy excuse for not coming back to the house, and I hope it gave your mum some satisfaction to strike a blow on your behalf! Most importantly, I am glad that the sun shone for you and that everyone else enjoyed themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 I'm glad everything went well Karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedusA Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 So glad the day went well for the children and that you managed to rise above the sarky jibes from the in-laws. Just pat yourself on the back and know that you have maintained the moral high ground throughout. They are not worth your time and effort. Let OH deal with them, and maintain a detached stance for the sake of the children, would be my advice. You survived and the kids had a great day. That's the most important thing. Well done, you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Glad that you and OH and the children had a good day in the sunshine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutrix Farmers Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 So glad you had a good day and the children enjoyed themselves. You sound like you have been the perfect model of tact and diplomacy throughout this whole saga. And hats off to your Mum for supporting you without question, no-one can blame her for feeling less than friendly towards MIL and FIL, they've hurt you and that's cut her to the heart too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
