Solitary chicken - need advice

[Angels4]

When shopping for family and friends we take special care when choosing the gift, and we pretty the package up with gift wrap and a card. We have all heard "To love someone, you first have to love yourself".

Something that I started to do last New Years was when making a purchase for myself (maybe my favorite cologne, a box of chocolate, or maybe an item that I want but generally wouldn't purchase for myself) I have the sales clerk gift wrap it. The ritual of unwrapping the "gift" to myself makes me feel special.

Edited January 2, 2009 by Guest

[chelsea]

mine is going to be my hair from now on. After 10 years of having it done at home I plucked up the courage before Christmas to visit a salon and was thoroughly thrilled with the experience. It was expensive, but I think I am going to take care of "me" more. I justify the cost to OH by saying I dont smoke (and he does)

[Tiggy]

I've started to go to the hairdreser too, now that my grey is taking over the professional does a much better job of colouring it

[Egluntyne]

Definitely the hair. It is the only bit of pampering that I do....and I love gossiping with my hairdresser.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Funnily enough, it's hair for me too . I used to go to a bloke who was very cheap but seemed to understand my wierd hair. Once I couldn't get an appt with him so tried a real salon - never been back to him since .

[ruth1]

I recently went for my first facial, it was fantastic and i fell asleep during it

 

But im already planning my next one as a birthday treat to myself

[Tessa the Duchess]

Weird, it's hair for me too. I really look forward to my mobile hairdresser visiting, I regard it as a real social occasion, we have such a laugh. I hate any form of pampering, but this is different.

 

Tessa

[SnowWhite]

Mine's a strange one because it's a treat for me but actually hard work.

 

I study with the Open University at home in the evenings after work. I consider it a treat (because it costs a far whack and the OH has to cook for me and take care of the housework while I study) but it honours me too becuase I am slowly (but surely) bettering myself - and I love it!

[jenuk99]

I love having my hair done, just love someone else washing it or playing with it. But pennies have been short resently so haven't been as much so as a cheer up I have a cuddle from my gorgeous girl.

Jen

[Olly]

Interesting thread! I have a massage every six weeks, it started as a stress-relief thing when I was moving house but I've kept going because it just makes me feel so good.

 

The other thing is my singing lessons I don't have to justify my spending to anyone else, but I suppose these are a total luxury ... I would give up a lot of other things in my life before I stopped having these, though.

[Valkyrie]

When we had our bathrooms replaced my one main requirement was a lovely deep bath, so my special is to have a lovely warm bath - with or without bubbles - and just unwind with only my nose poking out of the water. Now that the children have no interest in seeing how many bubble snowballs they can make from my bath and throw the lot around the room leaving me without any at all, and actually prefer not to see my body at all (thank goodness, I know how they feel - yuk), it is so nice not to have any interruptions any more and I get even more enjoyment from it. Also I keep well away from the mirrors!

[Angels4]

Simply put, you can’t give what you don’t have. It’s difficult to be nice to others when you’re not nice to yourself. And it’s difficult to be nice to yourself when you don’t feel good about yourself. If you think this sounds simple, harsh, complex, or like a lot of work, you’re right. Working on yourself and cultivating your own self-esteem is a lot of work. It’s a full-time job. You’ll never receive your final certificate of graduation and be told it’s time to stop working on your self-esteem. You’ll never arrive at a point in life when you make the announcement, “I have plenty of happiness and self-esteem. No more, thank you.”

 

To build your own gifts of happiness, joy, purpose, and fulfillment so you can offer them to others, and then validate more of those gifts for yourself, sometimes you might have to go through the motions of offering yourself gifts that you don’t believe you deserve.

 

If you knew your lover had had a bad day, you’d want to do something about it, wouldn’t you? Knowing that he or she was coming home from work, you might draw a nice bath, light candles around the bathtub, and place special salts or oils in the bathwater. Maybe you’d put on some soft music, turn down the lights, and turn the telephone ringer to “off.” You’d then greet your lover boy or lover girl at the door to grab their briefcase or purse, hand them a glass of wine, and send them in to take a well-deserved, melt-your-stress-away, long, relaxing bath. You’d do that for a lover, but when was the last time you did it for yourself? When was the last time you treated yourself with such respect and love?

 

My challenge for you and for myself is to just go through the motions. Tonight, you might be sitting in that bathwater thinking, What the hell am I doing here? That’s okay. Eventually, actions become habits, and habits become part of your personality, which builds your character and turns you into the type of person you were always meant to be, filled with blissful happiness and purpose.

[poachedegg]

Having my nails done. (my long term thing is to get a hot tub ....still working on it. ).

[Seagazer]

One thing I always do for myself that I started a couple of years ago is to take 5 minutes in the morning to lay on the bed and just clear my mind. I do a bit of deep breathing (often with a cat laying on top of me I hasten to add). This was suggested to me by my reflexologist at the time. Its very good as I often have lots of thoughts whizzing round my head.

 

I would definitely like to start having facials more often though as well.

[BeckyBoo]

I don't do anything Maybe that's why 2008 was probably the worst in my life? Every time I try to do something for me (I tried to: get another tattoo, start drumming lessons and have a go at indoor rock climbing) something came up. Either lack of funds, or someone else needed something or I couldn't get away from the kids - like now, I'm trying to type this and I've got one calling from upstairs, one trying to climb on my lap. When I tried to start running again (was never very good but still!! ) it became such a palaver - why is it that men (sorry guys!) can just walk out the door and go and do their stuff without having to even ask if a) it's ok or b) wether we will look after the kids? So anyway, eventually I stopped going. I suppose the children are still little and as the youngest is becoming less high maintenance then things will get easier.

 

I've already made a "not quite new year resolution" that this will be my "more time for me" year, because as it says in Desiderata....(with thanks to Poet for introducing me rather late in life to this which has become almost my mantra!)

 

....be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars:

You have a right to be here

And wether or not it is clear to you

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

 

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be

And whatever you labors and aspirations

in the noisy confusion of life

keep peace in your soul.

 

With all its sham drudgery and broken dreams

it is still a beautiful world.

 

I'm aiming to be more at peace with the world this year and Angels4 is right to do that I must be at peace with myself. And I think to do that I must value myself as much as I value others and treat myself accordingly.

 

What a fab thread, thanks Angels4!

 

Mrs B

[jlo]

This is a very thought provoking thread and I had to read your last post a couple of times Mark to get the full gist of it.

 

I don't think that I had ever thought of "honouring" myself in those terms. My whole life does seem to revolve around my family, both immediate and extended. Whenever I do something for myself (and yes I do go to the salon for a pampering hair do!) I always feel guilty about the cost or that I am not able to pick up the boys from climbing tonight because I have an appointment.

 

I have not made any New Years resolutions this year (never do to be honest as I have no will power!) but this may not be a bad one. I will start if right after I get back from taking nephew to university in Lincoln tomorrow!

 

Thanks for this Mark

[Ms Marple]

With me it's shoes. I love shoes. I love really gorgeous high heels but can't walk a step in them - I like to look though...... Also white shirts????don't know why, when I feel like being good to me I buy another white shirt. Interesting thread Angels4. You are right though - it can be awfully hard to love yourself and often in not loving yourself, you make it more difficult for those around you to love you too. By your choice of words and actions you push them away - because you can

[Cinnamon]

Once a week I have a 'me' day.

I shave my legs, exfoliate all over & slather on heaps of body butter.

Then I do my toe nails in a funky new shade (current fave is navy blue with bright blue glitter) put on a hair mask & read a book while one dries & one gets to work.

 

Then I get back to baking,laundering,dishwasher emptying & tidying, & no one notices the difference to me when they get in from work or school

[Guest]

you're welcome Mrs B, that poem has given me strength many a time

 

I just go and be with my chickens, I honstly can't think of anythng better!

[Geoid]

Withdrawing large amounts of money, fan it out, give it a sniff, announce "I love the smell of money in the morning" then spending the money

[Rhapsody]

Just before Xmas I treated myself to a professional teeth whitening treatment, my Xmas pressie to myself and to say well done on my weight loss.

[Paola]

Withdrawing large amounts of money, fan it out, give it a sniff, announce "I love the smell of money in the morning" then spending the money

 

 

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, heeeeeeeeeeeeee, heeeeeeeeeeee

[Geoid]

I did that yesterday, people were giving me looks, like 'which bank did he rob etc' quite funny.

[Egluntyne]

Mind you don't get mugged, Fred.

[Geoid]

Yes, I am very carful when transporting money. I put it in a self addressed envelope, so if anyone comes up to me, in the letter box it goes.