xChicken04x Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Hi all, I'm a bit hesitant to post this, as it includes a fair amount of my personal life, which I'm only just coming to terms with my self. But with all the great advice various members have been given recently, I thought I would be brave and ask anyway. *Deep breath* Right, I've had a tough couple of years battling M.E (or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) after a nasty virus back in 2006. This left me bed-bound for eight months. I was unable to look after my self (one of the worst things as I was always very independent) and had to be helped with pretty much everything. Unfortunately, for me, one of the many symptoms of M.E is anxiety, which has been the worst thing for me. If I'm honest, it left me incredibly anxious to go out at all, leading to panic attacks. I am, however, much better now. I'm able to go out etc, if it isn't too far away from my home and not too busy. I'm strong enough to take Zara on walks a couple of times per day and go out to the garden to see the chooks and ducks. I was thinking recently, that I would like to do a bit of charity work, to get me back into the 'loop' of working life etc. I thought about a local children's farm but, once I thought about it more deeply, I realised it may be a bit too much for me. It's a fairly big place to walk around and if I were on cleaning/mucking out duty, it may be difficult for me to manage. I also would, more than likely be by my self for the majority of the day, which I would hate. On Friday night, I went to my local Blockbuster, to get a DVD. I passed a Cancer Research shop and saw a sign in the window, asking for volunteers . But the only problem was it was on specific days, e.g Wednesday afternoons etc. I, quite frankly can't tell you how I'll be feeling next Wednesday afternoon, I may be feeling unwell, I may be feeling fine. I went in the next day and asked the lady at the till if any of the positions had been filled. She didn't know, and said to come back Monday (tomorrow) to ask the store manager . I've thought long and hard about it, and I've come to the conclusion that I really can't be put on a time-table, due my unpredicable condition, it really would be a hit or miss. I'm not too sure how to explain my self though, I don't want to pretend that there's nothing wrong, but at the same time, I don't want to make out that I would be ill all the time and never show up. I can guarantee that if I was there- then I would be a fantastic worker. What do you think I should do??? Do you think they would let me just pop in and out? Or do you think they would be put off by my condition? I really hope not- as I really would be a good, polite, honest, trustworthy, friendly etc worker (plus they would get home made cakes and fresh eggs ) Anyone got any experience of this? Please be honest guys, I won't be offended. I might be able to go and ask tomorrow, depending on how I'm feeling . Thanks for any advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I would go but explain that you can't stick to a timetable, I think you would have to honest because if you have a bad day and can't go in they may be stuck for someone to cover. I would also say that you would love to help out and although you can't do a specific time would it be possible for you to pop in a couple of times a week just to see what you can manage. I don't think I've explained myself very well But surely a volunteer who manages to help the other staff occasionally is just as important as one who does specific times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyBoo Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Hi there, I think that if I was the manager of the shop I would probably want to ensure that my Wednesday afternoons were covered, BUT if someone came in and explained to me that they had been suffering a chronic illness and that they wanted to start work but couldn't commit to much to start with, then if the shop allowed for it I would be willing to let them ring up on days they felt well and come in to give extra help. Even if it was just to cover tea breaks, lunchtimes and generally helping out. I really hope that that's the sort of thing that happens, because although you don't know how you're going to feel next week, I reckon once you get your foot in the door, you know, break the ice and take the first step back towards working, I bet you won't look back Really really good luck and if the Cancer Research shop don't have anything then don't be put off. Try ALL the charity shops, or maybe you could offer to visit some elderly residential homes, maybe take your dog in - there's an organisation that does that I think. Our local RSPCA (booooo ) have dog walkers - volunteers who take the dogs out, they're nearly always in pairs and that is on an as and when basis I think. I hope you find something suitable, good on you for a) posting on here but mainly for thinking about getting back out there - it can be a good place to be! BeckyBoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Why don't you go and ask. There may be someone else who wants to be flexible about working or they may know some other kind of charity work you could be involved in that's not so rigid that would get you out and mixing. Well done getting yourself going enough to consider it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebe Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 You may be best asking if you can do the "back room" stuff - sorting donations, pricing, steaming clothes etc. That way you could do the 2 or 3 days a week (or whatever) when you feel well, without the pressure of a commitment on a specific day. Try all the charity shops in your area to see if any of them wants that kind of arrangement. I would be upfront about why you want that kind of deal - then everyone is clear that you will commit when you can but that there will be days when you can't. It takes the pressure off you, and makes it clear to the shop manager exactly what you can do. I would expect a sympathetic reception. Many people in voluntary work have similar reasons for being there. and understand the value of volunteering to someone "in recovery". And very well done for speaking out I had a period of depression and anxiety myself, 3 and half years ago, and got better through a combination of therapy, drugs and volunteering. I now work as a paid employee at the office I started volunteering in, and whilst I still take the pills, I am happier now than I have ever been. So, give it a go - you are being brave in moving forward, and it WILL get better every good wish x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheilaz Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Well, it's a shame St.Albans is a long way from Cheshire! I have broad & deep experience of both M.E & charity shop work, and would pull you into our (Oxfam) shop straightaway! My first response is that your idea is an extemely good way forward, so long as you really do manage to pace yourself. The work can be very addictive and fun, so it'll be important to leave each session when you are still feeling good, not wait until you drop. Secondly, charity shops vary so much. If there are a few within easy access for you, I'd ask to see the manager to chat about possible volunteering in each one. Get a feel for each shop and see if you like the manager, then ask to have time to think about appyling. Don't be put off if one isn't forthcoming, you want to work with the right one! Many shops advertise specific roles or times to attract people. We've done this before even though we could do with people on the other shifts too, we just don't like to appear desperate! It's a beastly illness and I wish you well in a graduated recovery. Don't be put off by people who don't understand, it's not worth the effort of explaining. If you find the right shop, only the manager needs to know much, and a good manager will be looking at your skills and assets and how best to use them in "flexitime". Of course, they need to work out how to dovetail this into the regular staff patterns, and you could offer that they have a think about it & get back to you. I really wish you success with this. It's not just till work, there might be various areas that could utilise your skills, so remember to mention any interests or experience that might be relevant. Just as an example, if you became the "handbag pricer" it wouldn't matter when you did that would it? Or, dressing the window if you had a flair, it could be at anytime during a 2 day time slot or something. Types of goods stocked vary a lot too, so have a good browse and then put yourself forward! Do pm. me if you want a personal sounding board as I am (sadly) an expert in both the condition and the work! PS...Just re read your post, I'm so slow typing! All the best tomorrow....be truthful but accentuate the positive! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwing Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Crikey Sheila that is an amazing post. I agree with what others have said - offer your help as a extra rather than a 'timetabled' member of staff. Committing to a time slot will only increase your anxiety if you are too unwell to make it that day. Charity shops vary so visit a few if you can and see where you feel most at home Good luck tomorrow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poachedegg Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Good luck for tomorrow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I think Sheila's said it all! Just wanted to say good luck, and well done for having the courage to try. Panic attacks are horrible, but you may find this is a big step forward in your recovery. Let us know how you get on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 well, I could have written that virtually word for word (except for the ME bit) I have recently started working a few hours a week for The British Heart Foundation shop and I've told them all about my Marfan Syndrome and the manageress is extremely sympathetic. They give me hours to suit me, not the other way round and they understand completely if I need to come in late, leave early etc Have a word with the manager/ess and if they are very strict about timetables, try a different charity shop but I'm sure they'll be flexible with you, you're doing them a favour by volunteering after all Good luck and enjoy it, it's great fun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Good luck. I hope you find something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Best of luck for tomorrow! Good advice from everyone above! One thing I would add, in my experience of rehabilitating people with ME back into work, sometimes it helps to have a timetable to stick to. Even if you can't always manage it, retraining your body and yourself to work to a routine can help, especially if it is just a few hours a week and at a sensible time. You can then learn how to pace yourself so that you don't overdo it and wear yourself out before work, and ensure you have opportunity to rest afterwards. Then if you find you can cope with the routine, and when you feel confident, you can gradually increase the hours you do, at a pace to suit you. It's good to start somewhere for just a few hours and with a sympathetic manager. You will also find that it will boost your confidence! Just don't let it get you down if you do struggle sometimes - it is rarely a smooth recovery, just take it a day at a time and try to stay positive. ME seems to be very common in teachers in my locality and I've worked with a fair few to help them get back into some kind of work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joojoo Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Just wanted to add my best wishes too Let us know how you get on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Good luck for today Let us know how you get on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I hope it goes really well for you - I'm sure you will feel slightly less anxious once you've been and spoken to someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Just wanted to wish you the best of luck . You may well find once you take that first scary step, you manage it much better than you expect . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Good luck for today (weather permitting). I hope you manage to find something that suits you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaireG Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Good Luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 ooh, good luck today cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutmeg Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I hope everything goes well for you today. Reading your post, I was touched by your honesty which shone through. My 16 year old Niece has had ME for the last two years and I know how much she has had to struggle with school, etc. Wishing you all the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xChicken04x Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 Wow, what can I say? I had no idea how lovely you would all be, it really is shocking (in a good way.) You really are fantastic people and have really built up my confidence. Thank you so much. I've never been too open about my condition, due to the fact, the responses of most people when I was diagnosed, weren't particularly nice ones. There was lots of negative comments, which hurt. I had never heard of M.E before I was diagnosed, so couldn't really explain the condition to other people because all I was given were a couple of leaflets to read over by the medical staff at the hospital. The rest I found out myself by googleing . Some how that doesn't seem right to me. People didn't seem to understand why I wasn't able to go out as normal, I was fine to walk around the supermarket a few months ago, so why couldn't I now? I don't even know myself so couldn't explain. Another problem was my weight, before my illness I was about 9 stone (I've always been a bit on the thin side) but plummeted to just 4st 13lbs, which is painfully thin. I used to get people looking at me funny and whispering, can't blame them though, I did look awful. On the up-side, I'm now 8st 4lbs . Still need to put on a bit more weight, but I'm looking much healthier now. Anyway, just thought I would give you an update, I'm absolutely chuffed to pieces. I went along to the shop this morning, I was in two minds whether or not to go in, but I thought of you lot and went for it. There were three older ladies in there, just rummaging through bags and stocking shelves. I asked one of them if Sue, the store manageress was in today. She went and got her. Sue asked how many hours I would be doing per week and what days I could show up. I was just about to explain and said "Well, it's a little bit complicated because, I have a condition called M.E, so......." and she finished my sentence by saying "So, you don't know when you'll be able to turn up?" "Exactly", I said "but I promise I'll work really hard once I'm here......" *She interrupts* "That's fine tell you what, I won't put you on the timetable at all, and you can just pop in and out? I know how M.E works, I had a girl working here with it. Some days you are fine, some days you are unwell?" I was shocked . How did she know??? It just seems so perfect, and everyone there is lovely. The only day I can't just pop in is Saturday because that is Sue's day off and she needs to know who is going to be there and who isn't. That's fine by me though, as I'm usually busy on Saturdays cleaning the chooks and ducks out. All I need to do is pop my aplication forms in and references and I'll be good to go . Anyway, I really am so happy. I couldn't have done it without the support from everyone here, you have shown me that not everyone will react badly to my condition and it's alright to be a bit more open. I really appreciate your honesty. I really don't know how I can thank you, but truely, it means so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poachedegg Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Well done you on going in there - and what a great response from the manageress! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 oh wow , im so pleased for you well done for having the courage to go in and chat, what a fab outcome cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earthmam1 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 good on you girl that is fantastic. I am sure you will really enjoy working there sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 That's brilliant news! Well done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
