BERTIE MCSQUIRTY Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 becky i too can recommend moneysaving expert - they helped me when my brother was about to lose his house - in the end i helped him turn things around with their help. fill in the SOA (statement of affairs on the debt free wannabe board) and you will get no end of help. also being frugal over there - they can help you cut down your shopping bills, have party idea's which wont stretch the budget (there maybe even free cinema tickets over there going up for grabs). or perhaps you could do it at home as another has suggested - with pizza and sleepover perhaps. be frugal and ebay anything you haven't used in a year (including clothes), even if to cut down on one bill. as far as i am aware - you cannot be cut off from electricity/ water if you have children as this is a basic need to survival - you might get a ccj (but then no interest is added on) but keep speaking to them and they will help you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebe Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Others have already said it, but go to Citizens Advice before you do anything else. They can help you with the house, which is the priority issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 oh Becks, I just don't know what to say! As if you don't have enough to cope with! You've been given good advice by the sound of it about the money but how are you holding up emotionally? Have you got friends and family close by to support you? Things like this are borne easier if you've got support, I just hope you have Sometimes it helps to talk to someone impartial, remember, you can always ring the samaritans. They have trained advisors that may be able to help too or even just lend an ear to your frustrations. Take care of you and yours matey, lots of love. xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I can only re-iterate what has already been said - moneysavingexpert is brilliant. Change the birthday party to a sleepover ASAP - you can do that so much more cheaply than the cinema. Talk to the mortgage company - or thing about re-mortgaging - you might be able to reduce your payments but getting a better rate over a longer period. You'll cope somehow - you are a strong woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cate in NZ Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Sorry, no advice to offer, but just wanted to send a big *hug* . You've had a hell of a time and I really hope that you can start to see some progress very soon. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riane Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Oh Becky what a worry for you. Tackle one thing at a time and try to plan in a few moments of rest and recharge, a nice coffee and forum time here and there. I know it wont change any of the harsh realities you are faciing but it might give you the stamina to keep going. Lots of brill advice on here. good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mags Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 payment holidays can be given can be given for extra " unexpected "big bills but not money troubles mags Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlottechicken Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 The moneysaving expert advice is good, it is an excellent forum, and you will find others to talk to who are going through the same thing so can share experiences. Have you used the online tax credit calculator? ***here*** or http://www.direct.gov.uk for government info on everything The only other thing I can think of at the moment is if you or any of your children have an existing medical condition or health problem, then phone the Benefit Enquiry Line on 0800 88 22 00 and get some DLA forms. Even a small award will boost tax credits and may knock a bit off the council tax too. (it does take a while to go through the whole process though ). Don't be too proud to try and grab anything going to help you through this rough patch. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Oh Becky - I don't have any other advice, but just to let you know I am thinking of you and sending you some (((hugs))). Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparkysmum Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Becky, I don't know the situation in England but I know that up here the CAB will negotiate on your behalf with any creditors. It may also be worth approaching your local council to go on the waiting list for local authority housing as they do have certain duties to rehouse families with dependent children. Nevertheless I sincerely hope none of this happens. Thinking of you all. Allisonx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ardene5 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Hi We are very sorry to hear about your problems and think this way you are sharing the problem with every one will help you feel better as it is nice to know people are thinking of ways to help you. We think that you need to go to the mortgage lender with all the details and tell them what is happening. Contact a solicitor, who you can get free advice for about your problems , think it might come under Family Matters, ask them if they could get any money out of your ex. They will know ways to get this problem sorted out. Talk to all the people/ firms owed money and tell them that you are seeking help on how to pay them. Have a clear out of all the things you do not want and sell them on E -bay or at a car boot or auction or sell in local paper. Then, bank the money into a saving account. Seek as much advice as you can, speak to your local council and see if you can reduce your council tax in any way. Hope this helps. Best regards Ian & Valere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwing Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I'm sorry you are having such a rough ride this year so far Mprtgage companies lately have had some warnings about acting too rashly when someone cannot pay their mortgage so are a lot more understanding than they used to be so its worth having a word with them A lodger is a good idea and the governments rent a room scheme dictates that the first x amount is tax free too so if you keep the rent under a certain level it can be a good earner hugs x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purplemaniacs Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 So sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time. No advice to add but just wanted to say that we are thinking of you. Chrissie & Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedusA Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Loads of great advice already, so nothing new to add, I'm afraid, except more *HUGS* to keep you going. I do hope things pick up for you soon hon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebe Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Hope you are not drowning in good advice, but steer clear of solicitors until you have seen CAB. You won't get anything more than a fixed fee interview from a solicitor and CAB can help you identify the options first so that if you do have to go to a solicitor, you are clear about what you want and can keep the costs down that way. There is basic advice on www.adviceguide.org.uk. Samaritans can help you with emotional stuff but they don't have the training to talk to about housing or debt. If it helps with the utilities, gas and electricity can be disconnected, water can't be. priorities to pay are mortgage, council tax, gas and electric and TV licence. Pay something, even if you cannot pay all of it. But please, go the CAB who can help you through all this, with advice on housing rights , benefits and money/debt management. best wishes and will be thinking of you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicki9 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 No extra advice - just wanted to send warm wishes and (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodge Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 3. I still love my ex and I really REALLY wish I could stop 4. I haven't moved on as much as I would like people to think I have and I really REALLY want to. Becky now is the time to make a clean break from your Ex, this may seem harsh but you have got to get your head out of the clouds and come down to earth NOW You need to contact your Ex and get ALL the relevant paperwork that relates to your house including any utility bills, paid or not. You have now got to take responsibility for EVERYTHING and contact each service provider and explain your situation and make sure that anything in your Ex’s name is transferred over to you. Unless you do this, you will never know if any payments are being wasted in the pub. Write down a list of what is outstanding as of today and go to the CAB. This site is excellent http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/england_wales/ Stop being a victim, take control of your life and MOVE ON. God Bless and be strong because you can do this, you deserve better for yourself and your children. Kind regards Dodge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronze Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 I don't know how much you earn but are you claiming everything you can? Have you remembered to change your council tax to single person occupancy etc. Have tax credits stopped taking into account any wage that ex had declared? As you are getting no money from ex make sure you let everyone know you have officially split and claim every penny you can. You may be able to get housing benefit assistance if you wage isn't high enough Just don't pin your hopes on the mortgage thing as it does depend what type of mortgage you have (voice of disappointed experience) bu of course do check it out. Do do do speak to cab though as they will know all these things and will speak to creditors for you. Good luck and chin up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clur Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Hi Becky, Just one thing, please don't panic, there is help out there even when you can't make head or tail of things. Through a different set of circumstances, we've been having a lot of financial issues and there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter how bleak it appears. Please can I suggest you contact these people - http://www.capuk.org. It's an organisation called Christians Against Poverty. Being Christians is why they do it, not how they do it. They are well respected in the credit world and have built a great reputation for helping people become debt free, and as they have good relationships in the financial world they are able to negotiate fair payment plans if it comes to it. I recently attended a talk by them to see what they were all about and was completely in awe of how they support people. I really cannot recommend them highly enough. They also offer money-handling courses as well as debt-counselling help. Just give them a call and really I don't see how you could regret it. HUGE hugs. I know how stressful it can all be xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..lay a little egg for me Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Oh Becky, I really feel for you. There is some great advice here from the omleteers (as always) so I can't add to that. I hope some of the ideas pay off and your situation soon eases. Just wanted to add my support and send some {{{{{HUGS}}}}} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhotchick Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Becky, Is the mortgage in joint names? If your ex declares himself bankrupt would this mean all or half of the house would be at risk? I don't know? Can anyone clarify what the situation is here? I'm sure it's something the CAB would be able to advise. Can you have all of the house transferred over to your name? Your ex would have to agree to this along with the mortgage company, but it is a possible avenue to explore. Does your husband have to declare himself bankrupt? Can he not negotiate with his creditors and explain to them that he has no work. There are a lot of people in this situation. He could get a credit agreement in place, where he lists his income and expenditure and repayments are agreed with his creditors. Bankruptcy is the last resort, not an easy way out. You do have to separate yourself from him financially so that you are in control of your own bills, no more nasty surprises. I hope you are having a better day today. x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlottechicken Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 National Debtline is based in Brimingham and is free and unbiased. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Becky, how's it going? Just wanted to send some more {{{hugs}}} in case the others have worn out Sha x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiepoppies Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Hi Becky, Just to say I hope you had a good weekend with the children and that you have been able to get all the professional advice you need. Positive vibes coming your way for this week. Jx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurmurf Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 ((((((hugs for you)))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
