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BeckyBoo

Might lose my house...

By BeckyBoo, in The Nesting Box

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BeckyBoo Effusive Egg Layer

BeckyBoo

Posted
Posted

....and am bricking it. Ex, along with me as I have to take responsibility too, got into a lot of debt whilst we were together, his was credit cards for his various businesses that then didn't work, we re-mortgaged to build the extension etc etc and subsequently I am left in a house that is mortgaged to about what it is worth at the minute. Have, in the past two days, had letters from three utilities threatening court action as it now transpires that despite saying he was still paying the bills, he hasn't been. I've managed to avoid the court action obviously by making arrangements to pay in installments but having rung the ex to say that I'd had the letters he now informs me that he has no work. He is a qualified electrician and sub-contracted mainly to one company who have now hit a cashflow crisis, cannot afford to pay him the £1500 he is owed, so all future work with them has also stopped. He is seriously considering bankruptcy, so there goes the house even though there is not a penny to be had from it and the mortgage is up to date (because I pay it every month!) Thing is unless he contributes to the house and / or the children I can't afford to stay here anyway. The mortgage is huge and is covered by my wages but that hardly leaves anything left. I'm waiting to hear on my child tax credits, have reduced the council tax but basically because I earn I don't qualify for any benefits (I checked) but I'm too poor to manage on just what I earn. And even worse, although it's not even in the same league, it's eldest daughters birthday next week and I now have no idea how I'm going to pay for her and her friends to go to the pictures - the invitations have already gone out.

I spent yesterday painting some chairs and this morning woke up in a fab mood, feeling positive, feeling positive about the house for the first time in years. Now this. So thought I'd have a moan!

 

BeckyBoo

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WitchHazel Effusive Egg Layer

WitchHazel

Posted
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Hi Becky

 

I'm so sorry to hear about this, what a horrible situation to be in.

 

Number one thing to do is to get yourself over to the MOneySavingExpert forums, as they have a number of boards which specialise in helping you get sorted out.

 

Here's a link to the forum page, there are a couple of different ones on there that may help you sort out your immediate situation (maybe the debt-free wannabe board, but there are several that will help:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/

 

Once you've got the big stuff sorted out, then the moneysaving OldStyle board would be my next recommended port of call, as they have a wealth of information on how to save money in the day to day running of your household

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=33

 

Hope that helps xxx

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fluffyfeet All Knowing Superchicken

fluffyfeet

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Sorry to hear about your predicament Beckyboo - the only advice I can give is what I have done, and that is to talk to your mortgage lender, to maybe put your mortgage on interest free so that it keeps them happy, talk to the utility companies, hassle the tax credit people explaining the position you are in, and go and speak to Citizens Advice. They should be able to advise about the situation with your ex also advise about the utility companies.

 

My partner was laid off from the building trade last Aug and I only work part time but according to the DWP because I earn over I think it's £93 a week, he cannot claim Jobseekers Allowance and we have had to wait for the Family Credit people as well. Things are very tight but we can hopefully tread water until things improve.

 

Hang in there flower - will keep things crossed for you.

 

Dawn x

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Olly SUPER CHICKEN!!!

Olly

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gosh becky this is turning into one hell of a year for you! You will look back on this one day and think 'well, if I survived that I can survive anything'.

 

Definitely get some advice; even if OH goes bankrupt, you shouldn't lose the house because of that. Being able to afford to stay there is another matter, but there are various things you can do to reduce the mortgage burden; they don't want to repossess it because they'll lose out, so speak to them asap.

 

Same goes for all the bills, they'd rather get paid something even if it's tiny instalments, than have to issue proceedings so speak to them. The reason it's got as far as letters threatening action is because he's had his head in the sand and ignored them. CAB should be able to give you some good advice and help you with letters, emails etc to the various creditors.

 

Keep us posted, we're all behind you on here.

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ubereglu Golden Egg

ubereglu

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Sorry to hear about your situation. It might be worth getting in contact with Moneybox, it's a radio programme on Radio 4, and they're really good at giving advice.

 

Would it be an idea to have a clearout at the minute? Then you could sell a few bits on ebay in order to get enough money to cover your daughter's birthday. Of course, with this, make sure you've worked out how much the postage will be and add the auction cost onto the postage-use 2nd class royal mail postage-it will get there more or less the same time as 1st.

 

That will hopefully ease cashflow for a few weeks at least. Do you have a lawyer friend or is there a lawyer on here? That way they can let you know where you stand with your ex.

 

Keep smiling for the minute though, you will get through this. :D

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moochoo Chatty Chicken

moochoo

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Hi, I've got no useful advice to offer. Just to say, I hope everything gets sorted for you. It's such a worrying predicament to be in. In these credit worrying times most lenders are more willing to help than to cut their losses. I hope you can save your house or at least get your share of it. (((((hugs))))

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Chook n Boo Mum Eggcentric Egluowner

Chook n Boo Mum

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Becky, I'm so sorry to hear this on top of all the other tatt (could use stronger but will get told off :shameonu: !).

 

On top of all the advice above, I know it's not perfect, but could you maybe take in a short-term lodger to help cover the bills? Obviously I have no idea what your house is like space wise, so this may not be an option anyway.

 

Re the birthday treat; Is your daughter at an age (can't remember if she's my DD's age or younger?) where she can have basic information explained to her & accept reasoning - like at the moment her trip to the pictures is not practical so you need to postpone it until the summer maybe, or offer her a home party (if that was possible) with a DVD of her choice & pizza (could make it themselves - mine love pitta bread or wrap based pizzas, DD doesn't have hers cooked, but DS does :roll:hence we don't use pizza bases! ) & popcorn, which would work out much cheaper than a flick-trip. As the invites are already out, send a note to the parents saying "change of venue", I'm sure they'll understand.

 

Just had a thought, I have 2 gadgets which my 2 love as special treat suppers which may work as a pacifier...a raclette http://www.raclette-and-fondue.co.uk/, kind of a hot stone on top with little grill pans underneath, brill for "toasting" pieces of wrap/pitta bread with tomato paste, mushrooms, peppers, cheese, ham, tuna whatever you like. We cook small strips of meat on the top & children do the grilling underneath. Needs a bit of watching especially if small boy is on the loose, but not too bad! And a chocolate fountain, only small but mine loved it with pieces of fruit to dip (give the fruit first :wink: ) then marshmallows or squares of cake or rich tea biscuits. Before I had the fountain I made up a pot of chocolate fondue mix & decanted it into small bowls for the children to dip into. (I've also got a popcorn maker! Cupboards full of gadgets :roll: !!!)

If you are interested, I'm happy to tootle up one day in the week or I can get them to a friend in Woking, who can pass them to you, or I come up to Worth/Turners Hill every weekend so could meet you part way. My DH shoots at the Bisley Range sometimes too, will find out when next one is.

I know how hard it is to go back on promises to children, they are masters of the guilt trip aren't they!!

 

I hope some of this helps in some small way, {{{hugs}}} in the meantime,

 

Sha x

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earthmam1 Frequent Layer

earthmam1

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Oh Becky I am sorry. You really have had a time of it. :(

 

The lodger idea is a good one especially if it is someone you know or a friend of a friend..

I dont know if it is possible but in the last recession we took in foreign students which helped immensly and it was quite good fun. If you have a language school near you it might be worth contacting them. Also if you have a Uni or College near you they may have a list of landladies you could go on.

 

Failing that as said before the citizens advice or the national debt helpline would be my first port of call.

 

sue

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Aunty e Chatty Chicken

Aunty e

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Is there any possibility of you getting more work? If ex isn't working, could he look after the kids more while you work? I remember he isn't exactly brilliant at helping out, but if it's a case of you losing the house, surely he can be brought round? I can't believe he lied about the bills. Seriously, does he dig a hole in the back garden and shove his head in it when it starts to rain too?

 

I think talking to your mortgage provider is a very good idea, is the mortgage joint? You need some kind of formal separation from your ex's money affairs asap I think.

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Guest

Guest

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No advice from me either. I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are having to go through this. You were already living a nightmare and managing to cope, but a financial nightmare makes you feel sick with worry and is so immediate.

 

Definitely seek help somewhere. Pretending none of the problem is there is the worst thing to do (not that you would!).

 

xx

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Treekeeper All Knowing Superchicken

Treekeeper

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Talk to your mortgage co as soon as possible we have had to take a mortgage holiday as I have just lost my job. It's for 12 months but it's given us a breathing space to collect our thoughts. I went into what seemed an ideal job but it turned out to be a poisoned chalice what they didn't tell me was that they had had six people in the same position and none of them hsad survived the 'probation' period. Now at 47 I've got to find another job, never been out of work for 30+ years and it's hard. Got rid of everyting none essential sky etc so we can still give the kids some sort of life. Do talk to your mortgage co though and if you get someone who doesnt know what they are talking about ask to speak to someone else it took 3 goes beore we got the right person but she sorted everything out. Don't give up!!!!!

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Janty Golden Egg

Janty

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Get to a cit. advice and/or a solicitor quick to see what can be done to protect your home. My ex tried to sell the family home out from under us when he had money problems even though we were just clawing our way out of a negative equity situation.

 

You will have much better times, I'm sure.

 

Best wishes,

 

Jan

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Janty Golden Egg

Janty

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Sorry, also meant to add....get in touch with the child support agency. You only have your ex's word for his monetary situation and he has not proved reliable in the past. He is obviously getting money for alcohol....that needs to be going to his children instead.

 

Jan

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Lesley Eggsistentialist

Lesley

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Get to a cit. advice and/or a solicitor quick to see what can be done to protect your home. My ex tried to sell the family home out from under us

 

Same here - some time ago when my two were still young. Def. go to see someone at CAB and your mortgage company. I had to go to court twice re reposession but as long as you can make some sort of offer (with advice from CAB) the mortgage company wil usually accept it.

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