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Helly Welly

I need help with a messy DD

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Thought this was just my daughter!! Those pictures look very familar :lol:

 

I have threatened and bribed - nothing works for long.

 

My DD was promised pocket money starting at her 8th birthday. She was very excited and fine about the fact that recieving the pocket money would be dependent on doing a few chores - one of which was keeping her bedroom tidy. She was to get 50p every sunday. Her birthday was at the beginning of feb... she has so far not got a single weeks pocket money :roll:

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Hi There

 

This link has made me smile as my DD is nearly 12 & very unorganised & just puts things down anywhere to be lost.

 

I do the same as others in that every now & then when it is becoming a health hazard I put everything on the floor in carrier bags in a line by the wall & give her a deadline of a few days later to put it away........if not in the bin or charity shop it goes. Works for me!! :lol:

 

 

I couldn't help noticing your signiture has a link to the HMSA site. Both my daughter & I have inherited Ehlers Danlos Syndrome & having an odd memory is something that I know other sufferers have also.

 

We also both have Mears Irlen syndrome & DD describes the writing on a page looking like rain or the words melt. She also used to write in a wavey line across the page. The eds has made her wrists very hypermobile so her hand writing was awful. Its a lot better since she has been doing lots of physio.

 

I hope that knowing she is not the only one helps.Keep smiling.

 

xx

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My room always gets in a state :(

I actually find it depresses me when my room is a mess, when I've cleaned my room properly and it's clean again I always feel better, mentally. I genuinely do think having a messy room gets people down :?

My mum used to tell me I'd have x amount of time to clean my room, for example, until the next weekend, and after that anything that was on the floor, or a mess went in a bin bag, then I'd have x amount of time to sort the bin bags and whatever was in them after that time went straight into the bin.

Needless to say, that threat was only needed once :lol:

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I used to be quite untidy with my room too. I used to get things out and not put them away, and leave them to grow into a big pile on the floor. My mum would keep on at me to tidy it, and eventually I'd tidy it all, and I would try to keep it tidy after that. But... I always ended up letting it get back to a huge mess again!

Recently we re-decorated my room, and bought a bigger wardrobe and a new bed that could have huge storage boxes under it. Ever since then (It was christmas) I have managed to keep my room tidy because there was more room to put things away in! The huge storage boxes are definitely the best thing. I've got some smaller boxes inside the huge storage boxes to keep precious/ easily broken/small things in, to keep them safe, and larger things like balls of wool, merino wool and craft bits-and-bobs can just go in the main box. It stops all my junk ending up on the carpet, and everything looks really neat. We also bought a lovely rug to go in the middle of the room. It's really big, and is definitely and incentive to keep everything off the floor, because I chose the rug, and think it looks really nice and would rather see that than piles of books etc!

I hope this helps, changing my room into something I designed with more storage space has defintely helped me to be more neat and tidy!

Emily

xxx

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My step daughter is with us every other weekend and her room is messy, not that I can talk as i am really messy too. When its really bad I threaten her with me going in and doing it and it always works as she knows i will be ruthless. However, I have started turning a blind eye to it all. We have a deal that as long as her dirty washing goes in teh basket, her clean washing in the drawers and there is a pathway to her bed then I don't really mind what state its in.

 

But I am always nagging her about brushing her hair and cleaning her teeth. I do the breath test with her occasionally and catch her out.

she also hates showers or baths. (she is 9)

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I used to be quite untidy with my room too. I used to get things out and not put them away, and leave them to grow into a big pile on the floor. My mum would keep on at me to tidy it, and eventually I'd tidy it all, and I would try to keep it tidy after that. But... I always ended up letting it get back to a huge mess again!

Recently we re-decorated my room, and bought a bigger wardrobe and a new bed that could have huge storage boxes under it. Ever since then (It was christmas) I have managed to keep my room tidy because there was more room to put things away in! The huge storage boxes are definitely the best thing. I've got some smaller boxes inside the huge storage boxes to keep precious/ easily broken/small things in, to keep them safe, and larger things like balls of wool, merino wool and craft bits-and-bobs can just go in the main box. It stops all my junk ending up on the carpet, and everything looks really neat. We also bought a lovely rug to go in the middle of the room. It's really big, and is definitely and incentive to keep everything off the floor, because I chose the rug, and think it looks really nice and would rather see that than piles of books etc!

I hope this helps, changing my room into something I designed with more storage space has defintely helped me to be more neat and tidy!

Emily

xxx

 

We moved DD into the master bedroom precisely for this reason. OH designed a whole wall of shelving that could fit Ikea storage boxes in, he built her a desk with drawers for enough stationery to fill Paperchase and we got her an extra wardrobe just for her dressing up/make up stuff. All her storage boxes are labelled and everything has a place. If anything, her room is messier now than when she was in the smaller room. She's just bloomin' lazy :wall:

 

She's got some of it tidy this weekend. OH has a week off now so we'll go in and tackle it while she's at school one day this week. I just know she hasn't ;earn her lesson though.

 

Penelope, DD does have HMS and we are aware that it makes her clumsy and a bit forgetful. We give her the benefit of the doubt a lot and don't compare her to other children much. I guess i'll just have to wait for her to grow out of this, fingers crossed it's soon.

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Well, after over a year of threats, withholding pocket money etc, while Rosie was away at guide camp, I went in there, armed with binbags. I asked the Ex (her dad) to come and help me move the furniture so that I could clean under it. It is now spotless :D:D:D filled two bags with rubbish, and one with recycling, found a lot of crockery that had gone missing (despite a no food upstairs rule :roll: ), 3 loads of laundry and she can now find everything.

 

I notice that her bedroll and backpack from camp are still on her bedroom floor this morning :roll: We are due to see Streetdance 3D on Saturday night, but she won't be going if it is still a mess :evil:

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Wouldn't know what Erin's room is like - I can't squeeze through the door. I give up. The battle has begun to reclaim her overflow room - our dining room. Actually she overflows everywhere and at last Murray has taken the stand - took him long enough. I got fed up with "oh she'll do it eventually" after I had a (rightful) hissy fit. Twit. :roll:

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Well, DD has been tidying all weekend, on and off. She did the floor first, i saw it and it looked quite good. Then she tackled the desk. I looked this morning, it was a complete mess, including the floor. I asked why, she said that to tidy the desk she'd put everything on the floor :wall::wall::wall: OH and i are going in on Wednesday, gas masks and bin bags at the ready, wish me luck :pray:

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I'm messy, and was much worse when I was younger.

One thing that did help me be tidier was to go through EVERYTHING and sort out "keep-charity shop-bin" piles, followed by a good clean and tidy. Doing that occasionally stops the endless collection of STUFF (as does limiting how much "stuff" she is given /can buy herself in the first place.

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But I am always nagging her about brushing her hair and cleaning her teeth. I do the breath test with her occasionally and catch her out.

she also hates showers or baths. (she is 9)

 

I have the same problem with OH's daughter (very nearly 12) when she visits.I can't complain about the neatness because (to be honest) we have a lot of "stuff" which needs eBaying, freecycleing or junking but we haven't had time to sort it out so that overwhelms any messiness that she may have.

 

I am more concerned with the hygiene issues. When we go away together and it's "Face, teeth and hands" time, she'll go into the bathroom to get changed and I can usually tell that she hasn't cleaned her teeth or washed her hands after using the toilet... either because she has only taken her pyjamas into the bathroom (no wash bag) or because I've gone into the bathroom afterwards (to fill the kettle to make a cup of tea, not to check up) and the wash basin is completely dry, or I've heard the toilet flush and she's come out straight away.

 

My solution is usually to say "Do you need to borrow a toothbrush" and then it's Oh, yeah, as if she's forgotten and it gets fished out of her bag and she goes back in.

 

Or I will blatantly ask her if she's washed her hands and (apart from the first time when she tried saying yes,of course), she just turns round, goes back in and washes them. And if I watching she does wash her hands but seems reluctant to put them entirely under the tap.

 

I feel I'm in a difficult position because she doesn't live with us but I feel concerned that she seems indifferent about hygiene, that she doesn't like washing her hands after using the toilet (I can't understand this... my hands "feel" dirty if I can't wash them after the toilet) and I'm concerned she'll have trouble with her teeth later. I try to be as subtle as possible, and make sure we always have a spare toothbrush for her when we go away, because I know OH will blow up at her if he feels she is saying she's done her teeth but hasn't... which doesn't help the situation.

 

And of course, I don't know what she is like at home (though I get the impression she is allowed to get away with a lot of things OH wouldn't let her get away with).

 

I want to try to impress on her the importance of this stuff but she just seems to acknowledge that I've said it without actually listening. Can I do anything more than subtly nudge or is this just normal for that age?

 

PJ

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It's normal! :D

 

I had it with both children and now with grandchildren. I know they've been brought up to do these things but I spend all my time saying "Did you flush the toilet?" ...... "well, I didn't hear it flush" ......."and wash your hands"......child goes back and flushes toilet..........."Did you wash your hands?" ............"so, if I smell your hands, they will smell of soap?".....child goes back and washes hands........ :roll::roll:

 

It does get better - honestly! :lol:

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My DS is like this and too a lesser extent my YD, she has been much better recently.

 

DS thinks that hand washing involves putting them under a running tap then wiping them down his trousers. I stand over him when he gets in from school and make sure his hands get soap and water, but at 14 it is hard to stand over them all the time. He also rarely cleans his teeth unless you stand over him. I think I have got him doing it and then leave him for a couple of weeks only to realise we are back at square one. he usually does them for a couple of days after a nagging from the dentist :roll:

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Well, Rosie's room is still relatively tidy since I did it at the weekend, although she still hasn't emptied the bag she brought back from camp at the weekend.

 

I have to say that she's pretty good on the hygiene front, it's just the drawing/writing on her hands that pips me off; she comes in from school with doodles and writing on her hands and all up her arms :roll:

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I tidied my daughters bedroom "with" her at the weekend as well - although you can guess who did most of the work :evil:

 

She doesn't draw over herself yet - but I do have to check every morning that she's wearing clean pants and socks otherwise she'd just wear the same ones all week :vom:

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