j00lz_12366 Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 hi.. apologies to anyone who is on my facebook who already knows, but it seems I have unexpectedly become engaged and at the same time rather obsessed but dont really have people I can chat about this to, and was hoping some of you might be interested enough to help! We are thinking probably next august, want a small 'family' wedding, not in a church and thats it..we have no idea what else we want..! (second marriage for me, 1st for him) Also dont want to spend a mad amount on this 'event' Any interesting ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 No suggestions, but wanted to say congratulations. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
counturchickens Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 We had a 2nd time around wedding at Gretna green. We got married at 4, then had a party and a band. A friend went to bakewell, as has a pretty register office,then had a nice meal in a local hotel. Neither of these cost a fortune, and we're really lovely days! Congratulations by the way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clootie Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Congratulations! How many in the "family"? Could you take off to somewhere warm ........ wedding/honeymoon/holiday all at once! Bliss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welovemarmite Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Yes please do give more details of numbers etc. We got married 4 years ago and managed to get married for about £3500 including the honeymoon and flying two people in from america! We had 14 guests. It was his second marriage and my first. And, all planned in 3 months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lavenders_Blue Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Congratulations! I would also suggest going away, it could either be somewhere hot or a long weekend at a country hotel in the UK. Lots of them are licensed for civil ceremonies and you can have a nice relaxed day, getting ready, then the ceremony, photos, then a meal - all without having to dash around to umpteen different venues. Have fun planning Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Congratulations . Loooong time since I got married but I did try to keep costs down by doing things myself (or getting friends to!) rather than paying extortionate prices. I (or friends) did the invitations, favours, video and band virtually for nothing. Good luck, you'll have a lot of fun planning it . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Congratulations - as you say you've been married before, you probably have some ideas on what you want. My only advice would be to focus on what YOU want, not on pleasing everyone else - it's a day when it really IS all about you and your partner. Like ANH, when I got married many years ago we asked family members to drive us to the reception, make the cake, take photos, etc - not only did it save money but it got everyone involved and gave the wedding a really personal feel. I don't know how big your 'family' is, or their ages etc, but with a small group you can do pretty much anything - a posh hotel, a picnic, a barbecue; it really depends on what you enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j00lz_12366 Posted June 15, 2012 Author Share Posted June 15, 2012 Well on the family front, it's a bit difficult-or maybe the word is uncomfortable, because I have so little family-I have a daughter who is nearly 21, both my parents and step parents are dead, they were both only children so I've no aunties, uncles, cousins etc.. So in reality I may just have 1 family member there, couple of friends may be but could be as few as 5-6 on my side. My o/h has more, he has a bro, a niece, several aunties and cousins etc,so that's an issue for me-it could look v 1 sided Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mollyripkim Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Just wanted to say congratulations to you both! I would agree with others and go with what you would like, after all it is your day, don't worry about it looking one sided, its just one of those things. I got remarried ten years ago and I too have very little family (hubby has more) but we chose a registry office and a lovely restaurant afterwards and it was a lovely day. Depending on budget as others have said abroad is nice, we renewed our vows in Sri Lanka recently, the traditional ceremony was lovely, it was guaranteed sunshine and even had an elephant as guest of honour. To be honest it was better that the original! Anyway, I digress, I would go with whatever you can afford and what will make you happy. It should be an exciting time but its easier to get caught up with worries about everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Looney Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Congratulations!! My brother got married four and a half years ago and due to family sensitivities on his oh's side they wanted a very small wedding. Plus they were skint and didn't want to end up inviting more and more people - if you invite x then y will expect to come and then z will be upset if they're not included etc. So, they had parents (not step parents) at the register office for the ceremony plus siblings. So nine people including the bride and groom. We had pink champagne and afternoon tea at a fantastic local tea shop after the ceremony. Then in the evening, step parents were invited to join everyone else for a curry - and we split the cost between us. It was a lovely day Look forward to hearing your plans! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j00lz_12366 Posted June 15, 2012 Author Share Posted June 15, 2012 thanks for all the congratulations! There is no chance of us going away and doing the deed-i would be happy to but o/hs family would really want to come, he has never married before so that's one thing that's a definite. We are on a budget because to be honest we would rather spend the money elsewhere-we are hoping to put this house on the market pretty soon so lots of money will be taken this way. So far we have both said we would quite like somewhere to do the whole thing but we are aware it will make it more of an event so that will put the price probably past what we want. In reality I can see us doing local registery office and back somewhere else..which is fine with me, its just the details that will make it different i suppose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duncan08 Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 I wanted to go abroad but the slight suggestion to my mother made me change that plan We planned our wedding within 9 weeks to fit around a holiday we had already booked. My husband and I do not have big close families, but as he played rugby for years and talks the leg of anyone, we have a huge extended circle of friends. Like some others, we had friends that helped out, we had someone drive us who had a posh car, another who did photography as a hobby, and we asked everyone who came to do a double set for us (You had to get photos printed in those days), someone else did the video. I had a relatively plain dress that was made for me for the third of the price of the one in the catalogue, and bought a second hand head-dress and veil that I loved. I took a photograph of a ring I had seen in a bridal magazine to a local independent jeweller and they made me one similar but completely original, again for about a third of the price. We went to a local hotel for our traditional wedding breakfast, with close friends and family then my mum put a marquee up in her back garden for the evening "do" which included a few extra friends and family to the daytime lunch. We put on some food and drink and people also brought stuff to help out. We stopped off in our local on the way to mums for a quick drink, in the posh frock For the 500 odd extended friends, when we came back from our holiday we hired out a local social club and put on a disco. The club served food if people wanted it, basket meals remember them, but it meant we could invite everyone we wanted without missing anyone without worrying about the money. We told everyone invited that they were not to bring gifts it was just an opportunity to get together. I am glad we didn't try and have a big "do" on the day. That evening do all we did was say hello to people arriving then say goodbye to everyone leaving. Didn't get away from the door all night. Small is definitely better. I love the suggestion of a picnic, wouldn't that be wonderful if you could guarantee the weather. Do you watch that programme with the brides who compete to win a honeymoon - I have only caught it a couple of times, some strange ones, but you might pick up a few ideas. Good Luck and Congratulations Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 I know of someone who hired their village hall for their reception. Made bunting & had teapots of flowers on the tables. Bit of nostalgic vintage look. Looked gorgeous. The friends chipped in & made scones, cakes, sandwiches & cake stands. Teapots & none matching teasets were bought from charity shops. They had afternoon tea reception! Looked fab! Then a record player came out & records played. Guests were asked to bring a record if wished. In the evening, the couple left for a romantic evening at a hotel , before going on honeymoon the following morning. Congratulations! Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j00lz_12366 Posted June 16, 2012 Author Share Posted June 16, 2012 I love the idea of the village hall thing-and especially the night in the hotel-i think we may well end up with something along these lines, maybe at someones house, not sure. My lovely daughter gave us a card today-she had bought one and added a pic of me and o/h-the four of us went to NY just over a week ago- she added a picture of me and o/h on the top of the Rockefeller Tower, and added inside how really happy she is for us.. Its been a long road with lots of ups and downs and the fact she is happy for us is lovely..tears in my eyes just thinking about it..! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j00lz_12366 Posted June 17, 2012 Author Share Posted June 17, 2012 (edited) click I quite like this type of thing, but maybe 3/4 length.. Edited June 18, 2012 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluekarin Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 That is beautiful! Would suit the vintage tea mentioned as well I just wanted to add my congratulations to you too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lavenders_Blue Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Oh that dress is so beautiful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAJ Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 25 years for us next year, so a time ago, but we did it on the cheap and everyone still talks about it as one of the best/fun weddings they have been to. Friend with a posh car drove us to the church and village hall. A relative did all the photography for us. Bought the wedding dress & bridesmaid dress in the summer sale (a lot of wedding shops sell off the ones used for trying on) and then I did some of my own stiching on it to customise it and to my shoes. The reception was in a village hall which we had decorated. We hired caterers (buffet), but did the bar ourselves. We then had a barn dance as the entertainment and that was great at adding fun and getting everyone involved. Tracy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daphne Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Congratulations And thanks for the link to the site - what amazing dresses for the price The best wedding I ever went to was my brothers - he lives in Oz and it was on the beach, followed by barbies at a site with some holiday cottages he'd rented. What made it special was that he/we all pitched up the day before to put up a marquee, lighting, music, decs etc. He'd ordered a load of food and we all made loads of salads etc. Then half the guests brought barbies and so we had multiple chefs and everything was DIY - homemade favours, all guests given a CD of the wedding/party music, friend did the pix etc. He got married at 4.00pm but we did all the prep the day before/by lunch, so the afternoon was spent sipping drinks, painting toenails etc. It was totally informal and very relaxed. I know we don't have the weather for barbies, but I love the idea of the local Village Hall or whatever. It was really meaningful that we helped, as a family it felt like our wedding, not just his, and it was all about the effort and the shared experience, not just the money and the show Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j00lz_12366 Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 Thanks for all the replies..getting slightly obsessed now.. am gutted that this only holds 30 people as a maximum! http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/lindisfarne-castle/hire-this-venue/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 My wedding was hilarious. Reception in a scout hut. My dad and his mates who were chefs made all the food and brewed all the beer and made all the wine. Cheap, cheerful and enormous fun. I was going to suggest National Trust, if you want Lindisfarne, which would be a dream place, can you reduce numbers? It's your day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j00lz_12366 Posted June 19, 2012 Author Share Posted June 19, 2012 Thanks for all the replies! Although i would REALLY like to get married in the castle if it meant minimising the numbers that would spoil it for me-even tho it wouldnt be my numbers that were being limited..maybe silly but its important to us both that people are there-family especially...although I say I would love to go and do it on our own, maybe in Las Vegas and wallow in the tackiness, in reality I would feel like something was missing I am leaning towards a village hall, someones house-except we dont know anyone with a house we could pinch for a few hours! we shall see! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coppers Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Apologies for length of post but I could have gone on all day about this! Our daughter got married on 3rd June this year. It was a 'vintage themed' wedding and was just perfect! We collected trios of china for the afternoon tea, had mini pots of jam for wedding favours, used bunting and frothy/wild looking flowers to decorate the room. Jam jars and raffia featured a lot . You get the picture... It was low budget considering it was quite a big 'do',78 adults and 11 children in the day with about 50 more people to the evening bit. Our daughter bought a few wedding magazines and people laughed (affectionately) as she pored over them but...being able to read about, and see pictures of, how other peoples' days were planned, she gradually realised exactly how she wanted her wedding to be. We then set about arranging everything and did lots of the things she wanted ourselves, but MUCH cheaper! It was really good fun and worked out really well. So many people were interested and offered help,it was lovely. Basically she decided on every detail and we set about sorting it for as little cost as possible. There may be something that you find you are actually happy to pay the going rate for , for example, she wanted to travel to the wedding in a VW camper van (because my husband loves them), so that needed hiring as we didn't know anyone with one! I would suggest getting some mags, get a feel for what you like and don't like, be aghast at the amount the weddings featured cost then get planning. Anything goes nowadays so you can have your day as traditional or as quirky as you want and definitely individual. Congratulations by the way and have fun planning! xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j00lz_12366 Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 Just popping back!! Thanks for all the replies and ideas, giving me lots of food for thought!! I am scouring lots of wedding sites and as someone mentioned with magazines its giving me plenty to think about-esp what I really don't want!! Coppers-your daughters wedding sounds about the closest to what I am hoping for-I love the idea of a 'really nice day' rather than a big 'do'. We have now got 2 wedding venues in mind-1 is just for the wedding service and if we go with that we will have to find a reception 'venue', the other would be a church/church hall type venue-only problem is we would want the equiv of a humanitarian wedding-we are going to see if this is remotely possible-it's a Unitarian church and according to o/h they are far more open than other sorts of church-ontop of that they have taken money for the church to be used by tv crews for filming same-sex civil ceremonies in tv programmes, so maybe, just maybe...main reason for this being a possible setting when we don't want a religious ceremony is o/h has huge amount of family history connected with this particular church-all his mums sisters & herself married there, maj of deceased family members now there, he was christened there...if we can't I also like the 2nd possible we've got-will post links on phone later-it's just too faffy on phone!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
