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Purplemaniacs

Getting back on track

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As some of you have read we were burgled 10 days ago.

 

Insurance claims are well in hand and family have been great making sure I am not on my own or coming back to an empty house in the dark.

 

But I just can't get back on track. I haven't done any studying for my Open University course since my laptop went and I just can not settle to do anything. I seem to potter around the house wasting my time which is not like me. OH and I have had a couple of arguments over the last few days which isn't like us either.

 

My question is does anyone have any advice how to get back on track and to pull mysefl together and find the motivation to get on with things. Half term here this week and next and I don't want to feel I have wasted that time too.

 

Thanks

 

Chrissie

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Being burgled must have been horrible. Maybe you could do some decorating, or at least change some cushions and what not - sort of re-claim the space. As we're in the middle of some work ourselves I know the thought of it might not seem that appealing, but when you get near the end and everything is fresh and clean there is some satisfaction to be had. Good luck whatever you decide x

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I'd definitely focus on some crime prevention. And consider security lights or automatic timers that turn lights on when it gets dark, anything that will make you feel a bit more comfortable. Otherwise in my experience it just takes time - it might sound shallow, but when you get the insurance payment and can focus on replacing things, that will help.

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Sorry to hear you are finding it hard to get back to things. After we were burgled it was weeks & weeks before we stopped realising things were missing. They just took all our electrical goods & we weren't insured!!! How silly we were! I just kept reminding myself of all the positives - we didn't walk in on them (they were in the process of unhooking an Xbox), our pets were not harmed, they didn't take anything personal (other than passports etc), we had nothing left to steal so they wouldn't come back, we had the money to replace the items, my job distracted me (so maybe trying hard to focus on it will keep your mind busy).

 

Remember to be kind to yourself as well, its am awful thing to experience. Try to do something nice together. The crime prevention team came & advised us what to do (but we were in rented so there wasn't much we could do). Perhaps invest in an alarm if you don't have one.

 

Don't forget it will take time to get over it as its a frightening experience. It was ages before I stopped hiding my car keys!

 

That's probably not much help but I wish you all the best!

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I would say to give yourself time. You've had a huge shock and your body and brain will be trying to deal with it all.

 

Don't expect too much of yourself.

 

Maybe give yourself one thing to do each day, make it manageable and specific not vague. And congratulate yourself when you achieve it but don't beat yourself up if you don't.

 

The last thing you need is someone telling you to pull yourself together.

 

I found the police to be incredibly helpful when something similar happened to me but I was totally freaked out when they said it was likely I'd be burgled again in 6 months time as the thieves would wait til then for all the electrical items to be replaced. It made me sort out a burglar alarm and better door and window locks. At the time I was living on my own and didn't feel safe for a long while.

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Thanks all.

 

I have written a short list for today and I am going to try to complete it.

 

Having read your posts perhaps I was being a bit hard on myself, hoping to get over it in less than two weeks.

 

Chrissie

 

 

Personally, I think you were hard on yourself - as we often are! Things do take time both to fully sink in and then deal with emotionally. When you have had a shock like this there are many practical things that you just HAVE to do straight away and this can delay the mental task of dealing with the event itself.

 

Give yourself plenty of time and a few little treats too! 8)

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Thank you all.

 

I am setting myself a couple of things to do each day and I am managing to complete most of them so that is good.

 

I was in the house yesterday evening on my own after dark for the first time but have not yet had a night on my own. It is amazing how much noise a house makes when you are a bit on edge :D

 

Chrissie

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I think you are being too hard on yourself, you will pick up your normal energy levels when you are ready. A list is not a bad idea but keep it short and if you are not getting through things don't stress about it, make the list shorter!

 

I lost my energy levels when my dad died earlier this year and I'm only just getting back to doing some of the extra things other than family & work stuff that can't stop. After having my hotel room broken into (whilst I was in it) I am dragging furniture over to in front of the door as well as a door alarm when I have to stop in a hotel which is not good but I think with time I'll be ok with just the alarm and for now it lets me sleep.

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I have never been burgled so I cant entirely put myself in your shoes, but last year one of my sons had a horrendous party at the house and every room was wrecked, every bed used, and walls graffiti ed. I wont go into details but the mess was stomach churning. The house didn't feel like home so I had to blitz the whole place. Every carpet professionally cleaned, rooms decorated and damages repaired immediately. My daughter couldn't sleep in her room so we changed the study into her bedroom and made her bedroom the study. It was only when all this was done that I began to relax and the house felt like home again. As others have said, dont be too hard on yourself, you have had a horrific experience and only time will heal the emotional scars. Take care. Hugs. Ax

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