Smart Feeder - Light sensor values

[patsylabrador]

I randomly remembered a mortifying moment this morning. One of those that make you feel hot all over. I have a lot of those but this is the one my brain picked.

When the kids were little, DD and ES would have been around eight and MS and YS around four I had to catch the Tube into London during rush hour. I grabbed us all seats and as the train filled up I could feel all the huffs and puffs aimed at me by workers. Trust me, that particular journey was NOT by choice!

I remember at some underground point the train stopped. This was long before smart phones and everyone just sat (or stood) and stared into that place you find just in front of your eyes. It was utterly silent, no noise at all.

Into this ES loudly asked me a complex science /space based question. I can't remember the exact question, I just remember thinking ¥?*! I don't know and being aware of everbody turning their heads to look at me and waiting for the answer. I know I went bright red and stuttered an answer as best I could and the train started up.

I cringe when I think about it and hope "Ooops, word censored!"ody knew the real answer and thought 'stupid woman'. I also think ES did it on purpose - he's always been mischievous like that.

 

Do you have mortifying moments your brain likes to tease you with?

[Ain't Nobody Here]

I'm sure we had a thread like this years ago but it's worth doing again .

 

I once got into the wrong car. My friend parked to let me nip into a shop and while I was away she moved the car back a a space and a similar coloured car parked where she'd been. I gaily jumped into the passenger seat of that car, moving something off the seat as I did so. Not sure who was more surprised, him or me . My friend meanwhile was laughing hysterically in the car behind .

 

There's also the one when I had an upset tummy at work, used the toilet, then discovered that the toilet, although useable, hadn't been plumbed in properly and exited via an open pipe into the building site below .

[Alis girls]

A couple spring to mind - standing on platform of tube and ES about 4 smiled cutely at this black guy and said loudly "daddy" - my son is so obviously caucasian. I went and mouthed "sorry" and the guy grinned. Another time in the surgery my son saw a wheelchair user and shrieked "car" - being PC just wasnt his forte. Hes now nearly 20 and has improved in many ways and is far more tactful. YS not to be outdone whilst we were in ENT clinic stared at some chap who had obviously had facial surgery and said "wheres his nose?"

Of course what goes around comes around and now I am the embarassing middleaged mum and I can get my own back. Rubs her hands in glee.

[JellyBean2605]

I have endless amounts of these but the one that haunts me happened on my wedding day. The registrar finished the service and was handing over the certificate she said traditionally it belongs to the bride but that i should entrust it to someone i love and trust (of course meaning OH). Having had no rehearsal, never hearing anything like this before and being my practical self i thought "OH has no pockets, hes got no where to put it" so promptly turned round and handed it to my matron of honour to look after! The registrar didn't know what to say!

[soapdragon]

As already mentioned somewhere on the forum, I strongly suspect that I have Asperger's. I do very much tend to say what I think then have to pick up the pieces afterwards.

 

One of my real 'foot in mouth' moments was when I was working and we were refurbing a property and I had a meeting with a local curtain maker in order to go through fabrics etc. As she arrived in the office I went to shake hands with her and greeted her as Mrs So and So .... she was very friendly and said not to be so formal, I should call her Annette. Oh, says I, what a great name for someone who makes curtains. She gave me a furious look and was quite offhand thereafter; I couldn't understand why my boss had sprayed hot chocolate all over her desk either.......

[dancing cloud]

I still go thinking about it ...

 

Sixth form and me and a couple of other girls kept getting snowballs thrown at us (inside the building) by a group of lads. Put up with it for a while and then I got hacked off, so picked a piece of ice up, found one of the lads and dropped it down the back of his neck - only to discover it was an entirely different bloke and he really was not amused

 

If I'd been male, I'd have been flattened, but since I was a skinny little thing less than 1/2 his size, I got away with it - just.

 

Never did it again ...

 

Loving the curtain story though Annette

[Alis girls]

I love that story Soapdragon. So funny.

Patsy you should have opened your son's question to the floor by saying "lets see if anyone here knows the answer" problem is you never think of these things.

I was reminded today of my ES again as my YS and OH were in fracture clinic re his wrist. Well many yrs ago I was there with ES - he was probably Yr 6 making him 10-11 and was hitting puberty fast - all gob and hormones.

We were told to go for x ray and I was reading the notice about where to sit and put his records when a scruffy looking guy who was sitting there pointed out this box for me to put notes in.

I thanked him and sat down - he started to ask what ES had done and I replied a poss fractured finger and he proceeded to tell me he'd been shot in the leg by a drug dealer etc etc. I was suddenly aware of a hissing in my other ear from ES " why are you speaking to him - hes weird" etc etc.

Long story short - we left later and i was told off for my attire - apparently the above the knee skirt (just above not an up to your bum job)and the patterned tights were a big NO NO as they attracted the wrong sort of attention I was basically branded a scarlet woman

I texted him today and yes he remembers it.

And I wonder why I am grey.

[CatieB]

Last week I was at my caravan on a busy site, let me set the scene it was raining heavily and had been all morning.

 

I was coming back from the showers (clean obviously) in my dressing gown - as I always do. I remember holding my dressing gown in case it flaps and the campers see things no one should!!! The next thing I know I slip in the squelchy mud and go flying, legs a cimbo face first down in the mud landing heavily and awkwardly on my side.

 

Suffice it to say I was dirtier than when I went to the shower and am still wondering who saw what.

 

PS I still ache all over to remind me of the shame

 

PPS the next day I fell out of my caravan and now have bruised the whole of my shins heavily so that I look very professional in my suit this week.

 

On neither occasion was I under the influence of alcohol

[chickencam]

In my view, you winning the red faced prize so far CatieB I hope that your bruises are soon better and that time heals your pride and helps you to see the funny side.

 

One of my cringeworthy moments was many moons ago, we had just taken in a hand reared kitten from the CPL, she had ringworm which she had kindly shared with us. We were at the vets for her treatment when the vet spotted the marks from the ringworm on my arm which is embarrassing enough but he then said he could have given me a cream if I hadn't been pregnant. Surfice to say I was not, I have always had a rounded stomach and was actually quite skinny in those days

 

Unfortunately I had a very similar experience this spring when I was being served in a charity shop. I was wearing what I thought to be a pretty top, it was gathered at the front and quite loose fitting but obviously looked like a maternity top to the assistant who asked me when my baby was due. I think that she was more mortified than I was when I said that I wasn't expecting and my youngest child was 16. I nearly took the top off right there and then and donated it. But I still think that it is pretty and do wear it from time to time, I am always a little wary though

[Alis girls]

I also had an elderly deaf patient ask me when I was due - happened 2 years ago - I was in a top - very fitted at bust and looser over tummy. She pointed at my tum and did a sign of a pregnant tummy and asked when due.

Several things wrong with this - I was 51 (and I know it happens but not often) and I think I look late 40's early 50's and was about to tell her to go to Specsavers.

Instead I laughed and said " no I'm just fat"

The receptionists roared when I told them - 2 years on - I have lost 1 and 1/2 stone. On the plus side probably I dont look my age if she thought I could still conceive.. I was mortified though.

Morale is dont ask ANY woman when shes due - she might just be fat.

[soapdragon]

I used to do all the banking for the office when I was working and so got to know the girls in Nat West, Wallingford quite well. Just as I was about to go on maternity leave with ES (and with only a small bump as I have wide hips anyway!!!) I took my leave of them and said I wasn't sure if I'd be back after mat leave.

 

One of the older women said, in ringing tones audible all round the foyer - it was only a small branch - 'Oh, you ARE pregnant then! We did wonder if you were or if you had just let yourself go'

[Alis girls]

How rude. My colleague had a very overweight lady come for "pill check" - her brain didnt process this bit of info written by the helpful receptionist and she greeted patient by asking when she was due. Pt thankfully saw funny side and said she was trying to prevent pregnancy. I am so glad I am not the only one who inserts foot into mouth and speaks

[Valkyrie]

Oh dear so many funny tales of horror!

My son - can't have been much more than 3, was in the shopping trolley while we were wandering round one of the larger supermarkets (forget which one) and he spotted a lady in an aisle. Never having seen a West Indian lady before he shouted "is that lady black?" After I had recovered from all the blood draining into some invisible pit beneath me I sputtered that yes she was but we were all the same under our skins and we all came from the same hot country and that a long time ago people moved to where it was colder and that's why we are paler. At the same time my feet found they could move and I whizzed into another place. I always hope the lady was happy with my answer!!!

 

Then another time he saw a person smoking and he shouted out "OHHHH he's going to DIE!" Oh heck! Well so much for that as he's now 25 and smokes.

 

My daughter didn't seem to do that. She just does other things like tell everyone on Facebook that I have incontinence nappies - and make it look like I wrote the post by sneaking onto my computer!!!

[Minnie&Moose]

I was at the vet's one day, about 6 months after my son was born. A woman I didn't know smiled very sweetly at me from across the waiting room, and then announced very loudly, obviously directing her comments at me that she was a breast feeding councillor and that she would be very happy to give me any help and support if I had problems getting my baby to latch on properly once it was born! I knew I hadn't returned to my pre-pregnant shape but I hadn't realised I still looked about 7 months pregnant

[Alis girls]

The supermarket one reminds me of ES (yes him again) who when he was a toddler went thro a raspberry blowing stage. We were behind some old boy and "parp" he blew an enormous farty sounding raspberry. Several people looked round I stared at the old man and beat a hasty exit. No one suspected the angelic blond child in trolley seat. Poor man I did feel guilty but also wanted to giggle.

[Valkyrie]

 

I had a "moment" of sorts today. Nordic walking and almost at the car park. Cross a wooden bridge and BAM! Slipped and sat down on my bottom! Everyone turned round and looked and all I was doing was laughing my head off because what else could I do? Yes I still bounce well. Actually I have no problem at all - I said I hoped it broke down some more fat! Luckily with this rubbish weather I was kitted up in waterproof clothing from head to toe!

[soapdragon]

Owwww Bet you have some spectacular bruising

[Valkyrie]

Nope, nothing at all. Didn't even hurt! I'm well padded.

[Sheilaz]

My sons and I were working flat out to finish painting business premises to an opening deadline.

 

I was in an 18th century dungeon like basement, near a castle.

 

Hearing footsteps approaching, I put on a deep, gruff, loud, slow voice to call

"Halt, who goes there, friend or foe?"

 

The young builder coming downstairs had a shock!

 

My sons were mortified but I can't stop laughing thinking about it.

[Alis girls]

I love it - poor builder.

[gavclojak]

When I was a wee puppy I has a Saturday job in boots, when I was on the tills I would look down the queue and if anyone had "personal" items in the basket it would send me into a state of flux....I would get so flustered I used to throw the change at the poor customers and I'm sure I just estimated it as I was too mortified to count it....what a wholly

 

I know we have all had horrific moments with out kids when they blurt out things, my youngest who was about 6 at the time picked up a woman's magazine at the checkout and asked, rather loudly "mum, what's a prostitute.?" I thought there was a minutes silence as it seemed the whole of the supermarket stood in silence waiting for my reply......

[Alis girls]

Reminds me of the time my ES at primary school asked very loudly "Mum am I gay cos someones said I am - what does gay mean?" the urge to say very happy crossed my mind as I ushered him and baby brother into car much to the disappointment of the other mums all agog on the pavement. i explained its when 2 men or 2 women love each other and spend their lives together and left him to reach his own conclusion. Hes nearly 20 and doesnt remember this at all.

[Alis girls]

BTW Gavclojak what was your reply?

[gavclojak]

BTW Gavclojak what was your reply?

 

Well it got worse, I told him its was someone who sold services to which he replied "like a shop lady?" No not quite son

 

We were also in a lift when a guy came in who was a wheelchair user. This man had no lower body, he sort of stopped at the top of the legs and my son could not take his eyes off him, he as transfixed I was guilty of innate rambling as I was terrified my son was going to say something. We had a long chat after about how rude it was to stare

[Alis girls]

Impressive answer - that one would have stumped me. They are horrors - no wonder we get our own back when they are teenagers