Guest Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 I just had to take James to the dentist, he has complained for a while that his teeth hurt and has not been himself for a few days. I got him to open wide and tip his head back yesterday and even I could see the bad bits on his back teeth. Called for an emergency appointment as we are off on holiday tomorrow. Poor little mite has had to have 2 fillings , he was a very brave boy and did as he was told and didn't cry at all so I bought him a toy after. I feel like the worst mother, he is only just 5 and shouldn't have fillings, I don't have any and I'm 38! We havn't been giving his teeth the attention they need as it's just such a battle and unfortunately its a battle at the same time we are battling to get him to sit on the toilet and have a poo. The poo problem has been more urgent as he was soiling a lot due to trying to hold it in at School. It was horrible seeing him go through that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 You shouldn't beat yourself up about it...these things happen & it sound to me like you had your priorities right in concentrating on his toilet training. Being a Mum is an absolute minefield of dos & donts,rights & wrongs & we can't be perfect & get it right all the time I know how horrid it is seeing them have dental work.I sobbed loads when Devon had to have teeth out to fit her braces, & Cleo has to have 4 out over the next few months too for hers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules. Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 We have a battle with Ethan's teeth, too He really cries when he has them cleaned, & he doesn't open his mouth when we go to the dentist- they just write on his record card "would not show teeth" Alexander on the other hand is a dream to go to the dentist & always has been. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen&Lee Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Awww... sending hugs your way My sister-in-law has had ( and still got) the same problem re - poo on the toilet. Emily who's now 8 is sorted and now one of the twins (just coming up for 4) is going through exactly the same phase. She is learning and still trying not too get to angst about it because Charlie picks this up - she almost has to be blaise about him going to the toilet at the same time as dosing him up with lactolose (sp?). Not the easiest thing to do as a parent - but maybe easier because she's been there before with Emily.... Hope this helps in some way - you are not on your own Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 are they his Milk teeth? If so i wouldnt worry about it too much. motherhood is so challenging, try not to beat yourself up, you have had a hard time recently. im sure he will be fine. Love L xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Actually he is like a different little boy now, he is happy and playing nicely in the garden. For the past week or so he has been very whiney but hasn't really complained that he was in pain, otherwise we would have taken him sooner. Mum pointed out at lunchtime that his Dad just used to get grumpy when he wasn't well.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyBoo Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 No you're not the worst mother in the world, we ALL are, or at least we all think we are at least once a week. There's always something to feel guilty about, didn't you know that at birth, one you've delivered the baby, then the placenta, shortly after that two tonnes of guilt are delivered, free of charge to every parent. You weren't to know his teeth had a hole in, and as Fairy cake said, if it's baby teeth then don't beat yourself up. Even if it's his second teeth, some peoples teeth are stronger than others. Now you know you can reinforce to him how important it is to brush. I'm lucky, mine think brushing their teeth is a game so altho it's not always done all that well, at least it's not a battle. Now meal times - they're my battle. Maybe you could try flashing toothbrushes (I know I know!) they flash for two minutes so they know how long to brush for. Or sticker charts always work well for us with the promise of a much wanted treat once 7 days in a row are completed properly. Good luck, and my kids would tell you that you're not the worst - I am!! Mrs Bertie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 i saw flashing tooth brushes today in Home Bargains! seth just likes the taste of toothpaste, and tried to eat it , along with the brush! try not to worry hun.being a moma is HARD! Mrs Bertie is right, the guilt is terrible. I had a c-section with Seth and peple said horrible things about that, even though if i hadnt, he would have died. You just cant win , its a motherhood thing, Cant win. You try your best at everything, and then even when you think you've got it sussed something comes along and it starts all over again! Dont worry too much hun. Sticker charts are also a GREAT idea!!!! i love them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rona Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 So who ever gets it right? and what is 'right' anyway? Your parent probably didn't get it right all the itme but you turned out OK. You won't get everything right but your children will be fine. And I bet they won't be perfect parents when its their turn! Picking up the grandchildren tomorrow for a week. Now, being the perfect grandparents, well thats easy - you just have fun! But OMG it is so exhausting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina C Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 A friend of mine went though the same agonies last week ago with her James, when he had to have a filling. The main thing is you spotted it and sorted it out and he is feeling better - that's what mums do. I don't know why, but a lot of young kids seem to be having fillings at the moment. My dentist has not said anything but friends have been told that when adult teeth start coming through we should switch to adult tootpaste as they need the fluoride. Maybe its all this marketing of kids toothpaste that is the problem. We think we are doing the right thing by not giving them fluoride (especially when they want to eat the toothpaste) but perhaps we are just being sucked in by the 'nice' flavours and the link with favourite characters? We never had special toothpaste (or toothbrushes) when we were kids did we? (Well, those of us who are over 40?) I am now feeling guilty that I am letting Layla finish her tube of kids toothpaste before switching her over to ours...you can't win. She is away this weekend or I would now be insisting that she lets me examine her teeth thoroughly... Do we have any dentists on the forum who can help us out here???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 I had a c-section with Seth and peple said horrible things about that, even though if i hadnt, he would have died. I had a c section with James and people said "oh too posh to push" and I just sayd "sure am!". Actually I had Symphis Pubis Dysfunction (sp) and could have done some permanant damage giving birth, and he was breech too. Also I hadn't been to any classes so had no idea what to do in labour Oh he is now running around happy and yelling at the top of his voice because we told him he can go in the pool in his pants as we are going on hiliday in the morning and he's singing "pants getting wet, pants getting wet" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 It is the easiest thing in the world to theoretically bring up other peoples children. Ignore the critics.....helpful advice is one thing, criticism is quite another. Sorting his poo phobia is more urgent as Cinnamon says. And seeing the state of toilets in some schools, I'm not surprised he will only go at home! Two tiny fillings at the age of 5 is nothing when you think that some children have had complete dental clearances at that age. You are doing fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feemcg Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Anna had to have some teeth out last year and I felt so guilty that I hadn't spotted a problem with her teeth until it was too late - it was horrible watching her wake up from the anaesthetic . I told the female paediatric dentist how guilty and awful I felt, especially being in the medical profession and used to advising other people - she said ''how do you think I feel, my daughter was in here last week getting teeth out too!''. So that eased my conscience a wee bit, but I understand how you're feeling. Glad the wee chap's happier now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahJo Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Ben and Joe ( age 7 and 6 ) have just been to the dentist. Ben panicked a bit when she prodded one of his back teeth, but she said he just needs to pay more attention to them when brushing. Joe's are fine, and he's not lost one milk tooth yet . They both use Signal toothpaste, as the dentist had said about a year ago to use an adult formulation, rather than the infant ones. This is about the only one that they both like, and does not " burn their tongue" in their words . Have used the flashing brushes before, and let them do their own, then finish off at the end. Once you are in a routine with it again, it hopefully won't be such a battle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Poor you Guilt is horrible isn't it? Just remember - NO ONE can love or care for your children as well as you can. And ditto to what everyone has said above PS mine eat tubefuls of toothpaste when I'm not looking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cate in NZ Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Oh dear, sorry you feel so bad Kathryn, but just as everyone else has said don't beat yourself up about it. My 2 are older, Seb is, and always has been fantastic about brushing his teeth, does it religiously twice a day with extras thrown in if he's going out, but he had a filling a couple of years ago when he was 14-ish and I was mortified. His sister is a monster about brushing her teeth (will spend ages slapping on the make-up, but finding time to brush her teeth properly ). At 14 I'm still having to nag her to brush her teeth and sending her back to do them again properly. Yet every time she takes her uncared for teeth to the dentist she gets praised for having such good teeth It's so frustrating and unfair. Thinking about the worst Mum in the world title I don't think you can possibly be.............. the number of times that tantrumming teenagers tell methat I'm the worst, unfairest and that I simply don't understand I genuinely that that title must be mine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 I just feel double bad because I'm one of those mothers that doesn't really like small children. Now teenagers are a different matter, I get on really well with them, they enjoy their time with me and I often help them in ways they don't expect (I teach secondary school). But small children I find boring and total time-bandits. Its my best summer so far, I'm finally enjoying some time with James but I still hate doing any childrens stuff. Oh when he had friends over the other day I was ready to run from the house screaming - after 5 mins! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronze Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 I just feel double bad because I'm one of those mothers that doesn't really like small children. I like mine ok (ahh I just said that afetr these holidays?) but I'm so not into other peoples children and am really not into ooohing and ahhinh over babies. In fact the thought of holding my neice/nephew when they were born..... I had to keep finding excuses, colds etc. So you're definitely not alone there. I'm having the same fight with getting mine to clean their teeth. Eat toothpaste yes brush no. I worry extra because my teeth are the kind where that fall apart if I look at a sweet and I was one of those obsessive brushers. I now have a dentist phobia. It is gettign better as I can now talk about teeth and can type the word dentist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 here you go hun! one with a timer for you wee boy. http://www.idealworld.tv/default.aspx?ProductID=505193 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Looney Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 Just caught up with this thread.....I honestly believe that parents can only do their best and there will be times that, with hindsight, they wish they had done something differently but isn't that the same with everything in life?! On the subject of teeth, my mum is a dental hygienist and used to bring home her folder of pictures of various major dental complaints and conditions - talk about shock tactics Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 I'm so not into other peoples children and am really not into ooohing and ahhinh over babies. In fact the thought of holding my neice/nephew when they were born..... I had to keep finding excuses, colds etc. So you're definitely not alone there. Thank heavens it is not just me! When I was a teenager I loved babies and would babysit for anyone and loved it...In fact I built up quite a clientele (sp?). I adored my own babies, but I think when you have done it 24/7 for a number of year...frankly...you've had enough. I'm really worried that I'm not in any particular rush to be a granny for the following reasons 1. Will I take to the little darling 2. What do I do If I'm asked to look after it? I'm hoping I will be besotted...but you never know. I have a friend who dislikes one of her grandchildren and feels guilty about it....mind you, having met him I can understand why. Off topic...sorry. Peng...you love your boy. Nothing else matters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancing Gal Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 You are obviously a caring and loving mum - otherwise you wouldn't feel so guilty about something beyond your control. It's hard work being a parent. As for the teeth - well I understand that so many people are drinking bottled water these days (which is very bad for the environment as well) and they are not drinking the tap water, that they are not getting the fluoride. So as a consequence more and more fillings are needed as we are not getting the extra protection for our teeth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 Just catching up with this thread and wanted to add my don't worry you can't be the world's worst mother because I already have that title Honestly though you are doing the best job you can and that is what makes you the best mum your little fella could have. The whole toilet thing is a nightmare, been there and I've not really got any advice for you other than to look for incentives/rewards for the repsonse you want. I promise you he won't still be soiling at 16, if you seen what I mean. Maybe there is reason for this issue that he just can't articulate yet. As for teeth, you are doing a great job. None of use want our children to have fillings but sometimes even with the best care they happen. As an example of bad care my mother has a friend who is raising her grand daughter. Now I understand that the woman is doing an amazing thing and that at 59 she may have old fashioned ideas about raising kids, but the poor little mite at 5 years old has just had all but 4 of her milk teeth extracted because they were beyond help they were so decayed. I don't want to judge the woman because I've never been in her shoes but that seems out of order to me. These things will pass, use your energy to enjoy the good bits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 Awww the little luvvies! I haven't got any children , so not had to go thru any of this. Although I have been a nanny to a few! We used to brush teeth to me singing nursery rhymes. They had to brush until I had finished singing. Poor them eh? We also used nice tasting mouthwash with them, because then if they didn't do a good job brushing, at least their mouths had a proper rinse & the flouride was getting into all the nooks & crannies. You can't stop children eating sweets, as evn if you did - they'd get given them at their friends houses or buy them sneakily with dinner money ( if older children). I've experienced all this being a nanny. Like mentioned earlier, time to worry is when they get their big teeth! Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreveryoung Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 I just had to take James to the dentist, he has complained for a while that his teeth hurt and has not been himself for a few days. I got him to open wide and tip his head back yesterday and even I could see the bad bits on his back teeth. Called for an emergency appointment as we are off on holiday tomorrow. Poor little mite has had to have 2 fillings , he was a very brave boy and did as he was told and didn't cry at all so I bought him a toy after. I feel like the worst mother, he is only just 5 and shouldn't have fillings, I don't have any and I'm 38! We havn't been giving his teeth the attention they need as it's just such a battle and unfortunately its a battle at the same time we are battling to get him to sit on the toilet and have a poo. The poo problem has been more urgent as he was soiling a lot due to trying to hold it in at School. It was horrible seeing him go through that. aww hun ur not a bad mum! jakes gotta go to the dentist and im petrified of them! as for the soioling my lil boy did that in the 1st 2 terms at school! this prob i think and hop is sorted! we have the wetting prob both day and night! he was dry during the night sdince we got rid of the nappies! so the reason y for this to start is beyond me! how to see to it well that i havent a clue! good luck with both espects (sp?) feel free to pm if you wanna fent,chat or anything else emma xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
