Omletina Kyckling Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 I thought you might like this: To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height. Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the k"Ooops, word censored!" or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.) 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: 1. Eat less 2. Don't ask for money all the time 3 Are easier to train 4. Normally come when called 5. Never ask to drive the car 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends 7. Don't smoke or drink 8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions 9. Don't want to wear your clothes 10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college. And finally, 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 Brilliant! Made me smile . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 I love this one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popcorn Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 I'm going to print that off for my brothers mad dog. It's excellent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 very good karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovemychooks Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 Oh brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 Well done, will copy that one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gooner.girl Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 Like it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMO Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 brill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 Liked the last bit about pregnancy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 Love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules. Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen&Lee Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 Fabulous My two use our stairs like a racetrack - then sit at the bottom waiting for me Helen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin B Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joojoo Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 That's all so very accurate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisa33 Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 Love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cammy73 Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 So very true!! Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chocobo Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
