Smart Door Power Options

[Egluntyne]

I take it these are adoption stories?

 

Mine is.

[Lesley]

oooooh! how lovely - why not start a thread Egluntine?

[Egluntyne]

*splutter** Wouldn't know where to start....or what to call it. I can tell you this for nothing though....... every family has a secret love child.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

I take it these are adoption stories?

 

Mine is.

 

Me too!

[bellekatz]

I take it these are adoption stories?

 

Mine is too. I have a half sister who lives with us ( due to learning difficulties) from my Mums first marriage . then my new sister came along and was adopted at birth, then my Mum met my Dad and had me. It was only in Feb this year that i was contacted through Genes Reunited by my new sister looking for her Mum ( who sadly died 7 years ago). Only an elderly aunt knew anything about her and she had been sworn to secracy for over 50 years!!!

[The Dogmother]

What a lovely story bellekatz - I like happy endings.

[Egluntyne]

Isn't it funny how the generation above felt the need to keep it such a secret and make it a much bigger deal than it was.

 

My birth mother had me when she was twenty...in the 1950's. Being an Irish catholic girl this was an absolute disaster for her. My half siblings father, who was a friend, did the decent thing and married her to prevent her being sent back to Ireland to one of Magdalene laundries. My natural father cleared off as soon as she told him she was pregnant.

 

The Catholic church had already stepped in and made threats. Because they were very young naive and had no money, and because the church wielded such power at that time they were forced to put me up for adoption.

 

The Catholic Church has a lot to answer for.

 

When I was a few days old she asked the priest to baptise me. He said "i don't baptise "Ooops, word censored!"s" and slammed the door in her face.

 

Anyroadup.....

 

I did a bit of sleuthing off my own bat a few years ago....and because I had a copy of my adoption certificate with their names on it, they were pretty easy to find.

 

I made contact after plucking up courage...but unfortunately she had died the year before.

 

I met her husband, and he was very pleasant and told me the whole story, but he said he had no idea how he was going to tell the 4 half brothers and half sister, as they had absolutely no inkling.

 

He summoned them to a family pow pow......and they were absolutely astonished and amazed.

 

We met up and it has been lovely....they are all very nice.....and one of my brothers is so like my oldest son that it takes my breath away every time I see them together.

 

I have also met Aunts and Uncles and cousins.....and there are hundreds of them!

 

None of them can understand how it was kept such a secret for so long, or why.

 

And not a single one of us darkens the door of a church.

[The Dogmother]

That's a lovely story Egluntine - it's brought tears to my eyes. I'm glad that we're much more enlightened now.

[Looney]

It is amazing how common these stories are, it's like the sort of thing they unearth on "Who do you think you are" on the TV. It is good to hear that people successfully track down brothers and sisters

 

My unmarried Gran got pregnant with my mother in 1951 (I think she was 19 or 20 years old) and then refused to do the honourable thing and marry the father - probably much to the shock and disgust of many around her! My mum was then adopted by my Grandad who came on the scene a year or so later. My Gran has always been an independent sort of person but I really don't think it was easy for her to stick to her guns and have a child out of wedlock and face the "shame".

 

I can't find a nice photo of me to post I always seem to be pulling a Wallace and Gromit grin!

[The Dogmother]

Oh go on Lorna, I'd love to see you at last!

[Christian]

What a wonderful moving story Egluntine!!!

 

 

I can't find a nice photo of me to post I always seem to be pulling a Wallace and Gromit grin!

 

Thats ok Looney, want some more chheeeeesssseeeee, Grommit??

[Aunty e]

This sort of thing makes me so angry. My grandma had my dad in 1943 out of wedlock and was locked up in an unmarried mothers' home until the end of the war because she refused to give him up for adoption. She never married in the end, and had such a hard life simply because people were so narrow minded. I know nothing of my father's family and don't even know for certain who my grandfather was. It's like a big blank. She died nearly ten years ago, so I missed the chance to ask her herself (as my parents never saw fit to explain it to me until after she died) about it all.

[Looney]

Okay, photos below as requested....these are pretty scary - just to pre-warn you! I'll try to link to a couple of photos from my Facebook account - hopefully this will work...

 

 

1) More cheese Gromit (I'm the female, the chap is a friend and fellow gurner!)

 

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=477188&l=7b454&id=651246212

 

2) And even more cheese.....(I'm on the right)

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=83477&l=36a74&id=651246212

 

[bronze]

A few years ago we found out that my honourary uncle was in fact my real uncle. I think as someone else said every family has one of these secrets.

[Snowy]

Some sad stories - the church does have a lot to answer for doesn't it Thank goodness things have changed now.

 

Lorna those are great pictures - you have a lovely smile, don't knock it!

[Ain't Nobody Here]

My birth mother was a 23 yr old Australian living in London, my father was Swiss. They had been together for a year or two and considered marrying but decided against it. He was posted to Sweden shortly after I was born but did take me out a few times before then. I was put up for adoption at 6 weeks.

 

After going through the official channels (fruitlessly), about 5 years ago I found my birth mother on the internet (Aussie phone book). She had lived in England all my life and only moved back to Australia 6 weeks prior to my call. Sadly she was in the initial stages of Alzheimers but was compos mentis enough to correspond with me for a year or so. She told her 3 children who were all really excited and happy about it. I met one of my half sisters & my birth mother about 4 years ago. I look very much like my mum. Sadly this sister died of breast cancer 4 months after I met her and I then met my other half sister and half brother at her funeral - along with other family & friends who all knew who I was without asking (because of the resemblance to my mum - who sadly wasn't there as she wasn't well enough to travel). My sister was so excited about it, everyone had been told about me and was so nice to me (I blubbed constantly the whole day!)

 

My birth mum has since come back to the UK & is in the final stages of Alzheimers. I have a great relationship with my remaining siblings (we meet once a year if we can) and their kids and mine get on really well. My sister who died had a daughter (now 12) who lives in France with her dad and stepmum but we have her to stay every year too if we can arrange it.

 

Sadly, my adoptive parents haven't taken it well at all so it has caused a lot of problems. They encouraged me to search for her but when I found her, they couldn't handle it. We now don't talk about it.

[Tessa the Duchess]

Eglutine Wrote:

 

My birth mother had me when she was twenty...in the 1950's. Being an Irish catholic girl this was an absolute disaster for her.

 

My birth mother had me when she was sixteen it was just after the war ended and she was working in a NAAFI canteen, she had Ladies and Gentlemen with a US GI who was already back in the US when I was born. She struggled for 10months but I got really sick and had to go to hospital they contacted a Catholic orphanage and she was 'persuaded' to give me up for adoption When I was 18 I decided to see if I could find her, did my own bit of sleuthing, I also knew her name, searched marriage records etc., and discovered she had married 3 years later so with the aid of national phone books finally found her. Very weird meeting up with her she had a son, 5 years younger than me who I met on a few occasions. Sadly her new husband found me a threat and we had to cease contact. About 30 years later I tried to find her and my half brother again, after much more sleuthing I learned she was dead my half brother had gone to live in Israel and "Ooops, word censored!"ody knew his address

 

Weird thing is that I couldn't conceive due to gynae problems so ended up adopting both my children as babies. We have always had rescue dogs and cats,

the children are rescued, I am rescued, DH always remarked that he felt like an

ousider because he was the only one who was brand new

 

Tessa

[Tessa the Duchess]

Vicki wrote:

 

Sadly, my adoptive parents haven't taken it well at all so it has caused a lot of problems. They encouraged me to search for her but when I found her, they couldn't handle it. We now don't talk about it.

 

What an interesting and sad story Vicki. I didn't tell my adoptive parents that I had found my birth mother, didn't want to upset them. My younger son has found his father and one of his siblings. I have always encouraged my children to search for their birth parents because I think it is important to learn about your roots. His birth mother b******d off leaving all her children behind when he told me he had found his birth father I did feel a bit hmmmmm but it would have been worse if he had found his birth mother, i probably would have felt a bit insecure.

 

Tessa

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Sadly her new husband found me a threat and we had to cease contact. About 30 years later I tried to find her and my half brother again, after much more sleuthing I learned she was dead my half brother had gone to live in Israel and "Ooops, word censored!"ody knew his address

 

How sad. That seems to be quite common - family finding it a threat. They just don't understand the need to know - my adoptive parents are the same.

 

Weird thing is that I couldn't conceive due to gynae problems so ended up adopting both my children as babies. We have always had rescue dogs and cats, the children are rescued, I am rescued, DH always remarked that he felt like an ousider because he was the only one who was brand new

 

Happy ending all round .

[Egluntyne]

Sadly, my adoptive parents haven't taken it well at all so it has caused a lot of problems. They encouraged me to search for her but when I found her, they couldn't handle it. We now don't talk about it.

 

My adoptive mother died years ago....she would never have approved of or understood my searching for my birth family.

 

My Dad on the other hand was very supportive and encouraging. He met the brothers and sisiters. When he died they came to his funeral and so did my birth mothers sister. I was very touched by that.

 

Co-incidently, my dad discovered when he was in his 50's that his older sister was in fact his mother!!!

 

I must admit that I'd kind of guessed......the maths didn't quite fit....one or two unanswered questions and the fact that he was over 10 years younger than the "brother" above him in the batting order, and the fact that his "mother" (grandmother) would have been 54 when he was born.

 

He said he never had cause to question anything and he's never clocked the maths discrepency.

 

He was born in 1917....so we imagined that his father would have been a soldier killed in what he always referred to as The Great War.

 

Yes...every family has a story.

 

Him Indoors has two cousins...one on his mothers and one on his fathers side of the family whose fathers were catholic priests!! There we go again....the hypocracy of the Catholic Church.

Edited November 27, 2007 by Guest

[Jules.]

We had a family get together a couple of years ago to meet my cousin who is the same age as me & is the daughter of my dad's sister. She was adopted at birth as my auntie was not married to the father-she is now living in America with her adoptive mother. The family resemblence was uncanny.

[The Dogmother]

Lorna, you have a lovely infectious grin - no more hiding now Hon!

 

What lovely sad and happy stories. I don't know an awful lot about my families going back, but I'm sure that there must be skeletons..one day I'll get round to researching it all.

 

My Italian grandparents came over here with their families early in the 1900s (can't remember the exact date), when one of my grandpas brothers had polio and needed treatment that could only be found in the UK. They had typical Florentine colouring if titian hair and blue/green eyes except for one who was dark.. often wondered about that! One of my great grandpas was an industrial chemist, the other was a gentleman farmer. (all roman catholics Egluntine )

 

My fathers family are an unknown quantity, mainly because he's never been interested in finding anything out. I made some enquiries when I was younger and it seems that his fathers side were Scottish (hence the red hair) and his mothers side may have been Jewish - but that was largely whitewashed in the war.

 

I'd love to do more research one day.... alot of it would need to be in Italy - good excuse for a trip methinks