clare* Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 My mum had to go to a breast screening clinic yesterday after having a mammogram last week. We both really thought it would show nothing as she had not felt any lump. She got called back in after an hour and a half of tests to be told she has breast cancer. She has to go back next Thursday to see a surgeon, and get the biopsy results but the Dr said from the evidence she had in front of her it was. It looked like a huge mass that you could see was spreading in a kind of start shape. I just can't stop crying. My poor mum. I don't have much family, well my mum and sister that's it really. My sister lives at home still and is younger than me. The hospital is a 60 mile round trip for us to get to. After the operation to have the lump removed if that's what they decide the very least the after treatment is radiation which means visiting the hospital 5 days week for 5 weeks! I trying to find out as much info as I can on the internet but it is just so frightening. She has gone to work today bless her, me and my sister are just distraught. We love our mum so much, I just want to do everything I can for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunty e Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 I am so sorry. I hope that they can treat it effectively and it sounds like your mum's doctor is on the ball. Cancer Research UK do have an awful lot of information about cancer on their website, and the BBC is also very good. The most important thing you can do for your mum is to continue to support her. And make sure she eats well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Oh Clare deepest sympathies to you all that is terrible news but remember there are so many effective treatments now the chances of full recovery are really good so keep your chin up and bestrong for your mum. If you need to talk you know where we all are Take care and all the best to your mum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Clare, I'm so sorry to hear your awful news but as Louise says, treatment these days is very good indeed. We have a family friend who is currently going through chemotherapy for breast cancer and is doing very well and my aunt had a mastectomy two years ago and is now clear of the cancer so I'll have absolutely everything crossed for your Mum. Big hugs to you both. Kate x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popcorn Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Lots of love and hugs to you and you Mum Clare. What very sad news. The good news is that treatment is excellent these days and it sounds like the Dr. is very much on the ball. Food can play a really improtant role where cancer is concerned, as Louise says, so you may want to do a bit of research into that. I know Gillian Mckeiths book touches on a cnacer patient of hers. It will also help yoo if you can help your Mum, even in the smallest way by preparing some meals for her. Thinking of you xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicola H Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 So sorry to hear you sad news Clare, be strong for your mum and i hope all the treatment goes well for her.................Big cyber hugs coming to you, like Louise and the others say if you need to talk we are all here for you............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Oh Clare, I am so sorry to hear the news. Please convey my feelings to your Mum and sister. I well be thinking of you today, let me know if there is ever anything that I can do to help - would you like me to have the chooks for a while so that there's one less thing to think about? I am sure that your neighbours will rally round to help with Ben or the cooking, but let me know if I can help at all with that too. Every year, I do The Race for Life on behalf of my grandma, and a friend who had breast cancer; this year I would like to dedicate it to your mum if that is ok. Please let me have her name and I will wear it with pride on the day; Rosie and I hope to raise in excess of £300 this year for Cancer Research. With lots of love and hugs from Clare, Rosie and Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 You poor thing,this must have been such a shock for you. Treatment is very advanced for breast Cancer these days & 2 ladies I know well who are both in their 50's have undergone mastectomys in the past year or so & are both now cancer free Please try not to panic,eat well & think of your own health too. Your Mum will need you to stay strong, & we are all here with encouraging words,thoughts & cyber smiles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheilaz Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Clare, so sorry to hear this, you must feel devastated. But, what a good thing she went for the screening. The hospital trek itself sounds demanding, so it will help your mum if you can be the strong one when you're around her, a loving face not a worried one. Meanwhile, of course, you & sis must be crumbling inside, so do share your tears & worries with each other & friends, then devise some positive plans. A positive outlook really helps the patient to cope better at a time when they need their full strength. Your mum sounds lovely to have raised such caring daughters who love her so much. Not everyone has that good relationship, what a credit to her. So, hug her & tell her that you love her (sometimes we think it but don't say!) every day, it will really help. Sending you tons of love & support and hugs. Do look after your own health so you can be there when she needs you most. lots of love, xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocchick Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Poor thing, at least there are lots of forum people for cyber support. Best wishes to all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeramaSilly Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 So sorry Clare to hear your news. As everyone has said though your mum's consultant sounds on the ball. A friend I worked with for eleven years went for a routine breast screen (and on the day nearly decided not to go and go shopping instead!) which proved positive. She had the op and then the radiotherapy, has had no problems since and now looks after her two grandchildren while her daughter works. Her op was 13 years ago and think how things have progressed since then! As everyone says you must eat well and look after yourselves particularly during the radiotherapy because that will make your mum feel really tired. Loads of love to you, your mum and sister. Sophie x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kazaddress Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 I just wanted to add my condolences. stay positive, its amazing what can be achieved with modern medicine and a good healthy diet. Try and be there for your mum, and keep her positive! she needs you to be strong for her right now.. if she see's you upset all the time it might make her think there is no hope. I hope next week you have some good news, and the cancer is operable. goodluck. Kaz xx <> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Sorry to hear that Clare. It is always such a shock when you first get the news. The others have all said such helpful things - stay positive. My Stepmother and Mother in Law have both had mastectomies and radiotherapy over the last 10 years and are both now clear. Re Hospital Car Parking - ask what system they operate for patients who need to make frequent visits. It is not often advertised that there are special rates for these patients. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookie Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 So sorry to hear the sudden news Clare. Am sending all good wishes to you and your family. Love, Cookie. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley-Jean Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Hi Clare , I'm very sorry to hear you bad news, and I agree with all the sympathy here. You must remain strong an positive for your Mum as she is going to need all that you can give her. My daughter-in-law has just had chemo for Hodgkin’s lymphoma at the age of 28 and a friend of our aged 39 is undergoing chemo at present for breast cancer. They have both said that it is the support of friends and relatives that has got them through the experience. I would like to add that both of them have continued to work throughout their treatment. Listen to all of the information given to you by the hospital staff, there are also help groups who can give support. It is very important to try to carry on as near to normal as possible which will help your Mum to fight it herself. Be strong, Big hugs. LJ xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Re parking you need to get the hospital to confirm you are needed to visit regularly for a long period and you should get a free pass certainly when I worked at the John Radcliffe in your area they had a system most if not all will have some sort of system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken on a mission Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Hi Clare, I really feel for you. It takes me back to when we found out my mum has cancer. The most important thing to remember is that your perception of cancer is based on how things stood donkeys years ago when everyone automatically assumes you are going to die of it. Things aren't like that now and I would really advise you and your mum to get in touch with your local support groups. My heart goes out to you and I'm just glad you can have a good cry about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clare* Posted March 7, 2006 Author Share Posted March 7, 2006 Thank you everyone for your kind words, it is the shock. If she looked or felt ill I think it would be a bit easier. We have spent the afternoon together and no tears, I am the strong one for her so i might cry away from her but I know that I can't show her how upset I am. We shall see what the appointment next week brings. It the hospital in Northampton we are having to go to but I will check about the parking situation with someone there I don't know wo though. At £2 for a couple hours that will mount up over the weeks! Thanks again everyone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 When my dad was last in hospital clare I asked one of the nurses about long term parking and she steered me in the right direction it is not the sort of thing alot of people ask about they don't think I only know from working in hospitals it pays to check Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Yes, definitely - or the ward clerks as they often have little forms hidden under their desks to help if you ask. You don't get anything in this life if you don't ask . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Clare, I'm sorry to hear about what you and your family are going through. I just echo what everyone else has said and wish you all well. Take care. x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jools Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Just to say I feel for you Clare. My mum was taken very suddenly ill five months ago and had to have life-saving brain surgery. I had about a week of auto-pilot, staying with my dad & hospital vigils before it hit me so hard that I missed the person I really needed to talk to - my mum . We'd become close friends over the past five years after some family traumas and we had eachother to sound off on. Although she's making a good recovery, she's not the same person she was and I really miss that. I think it takes something horrible like this to make us appreciate those around us that really matter and to keep things in perspective. Good luck to you both . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Jools,the same happened to me 18 months ago. Mum had a fall down the stairs & hit her head.She had to have 4 lots of brain surgery, & sadly did not recover enough to lead a life without constant medical supervision. Mum was my best friend,but she doesn't even recognise me now I find it so hard that I cannot bring myself to visit her.She is like a shell. But life does go on & the whole sad episode has made me appreciate my children & my family life so much more. We try to spend more time together & try to be more tolerant of each other. We are aiming for a healthier lifestyle too - hence the Chickens I don't want to hijack Clares thread with my own tale of woe,but I wanted to reiterate that happy times can come out of the most terrible situations Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffie Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 I want to add my support to you and your family Clare*. I always think that being informed makes you feel stronger so as already said look on the breast cancer websit and get the facts. Positive thinking is also important and the time to start is now. Your mum is going to need you so much. We are all here you know BBx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Sending positive thoughts and best wishes to you Clare and those of you who have has similar experiences. When we face something like this we somehow find inner strength and after the initial shock, your mind into goes overdrive with all sorts of things as it sifts through information from others experiences. That is to be expected this week, for all of you, coping with it in your individual ways. Once your mum and you all get the facts next week, you will know exactly what you are dealing with, and should get the support you will need from the hospital staff. If not ask for it. It helps sometimes when you feel in a state of turmoil as you must be now, to write down all the questions going around in your head. Whatever it is - from car parking to treatment etc. Write them all down. Then when you next have the appointment with your mum, have your list with you, and if there is anything unanswered at the time, that is still applicable - ask. Do not be embarassed or worried about doing so. Just get you piece of paper out and either at the end or mention it at the beginning, and just say that you have a few questions, that you need explaining. Your mum might not be able to ask them or even think of some of them herself understandably If the doctor or person you are asking can't help - ask to speak to someone who can - eg in the case of parking etc. At least when you come away you might not have all the answers, but you will have some, and you will feel more in control of the situation than you do at the moment, I am sure. My sincere best wishes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
